Alice in Wonderland

I figured it was time to get down to business. Me and Patrick decided to go sit on his back porch and have lunch to talk things over. I loved the view he had from is backyard. A perfect view of the ocean. I wonder if, instead of paying me, he’ll just give me this house. He sure the hell is gonna be a lot of work.

Patrick’s an attractive man, but his body language gives up his most deepest secrets. He’s very un-confidant in himself and he hates being the center of attention. Which explains why Pete is more of the front man in the band, while Patrick kind of stands in his shadow. Patrick doesn’t see himself as an attractive man. He looks at himself in the mirror and feels disgusted with himself. How do I know this? Because I used to be just like him. In High School I never had friends. In that free time I had I studied my fellow classmates, learned what they look for in a person, how your hair color really does tell about your personality, how unconfident people are and how bitchy they are. And look where I am today. Strong. Confidant. And helping others find their true selves. For some reason I feel the need to help Patrick more then I usually need to help people. Yet I don’t want to help him. I want him. Badly. And I feel horrible about it! God, I want to jump his bones right now.

We both seemed to be dazing off, staring at the sea. I figured I should bring us back to business.

I cleared my throat snapping him out of his reverie. He smiled shyly and blushed, looking down.

That’s not gonna do.

I reached over and lifted his chin up and made him look me in the eye. “First lesson. Never stop making eye contact. Girls will think your not interested. If you must look away, look away then look back a few seconds later. That way they’ll know your shy and think of you as adorable instead of a jerk or a loser. Okay?”

He nodded, blushing more, and willing himself not to look away. He kept eye contact. Good.

I let go of his chin and reclined into my chair more, taking a sip of my Lemonade. “You passed. Good job Mr. Stump.” I looked over at him only to feel my heart flutter at the sight of his smile. This really is going to hurt when I find the ‘one’ for him. Maybe I could be…..no, that would be something out of a fairy tale. And my life is anything but.

Time for lesson 2.

I stood up and kicked my shoes off. I turned and smiled down on a confused Patrick. I held my hand out to him. “It’s time for lesson 2.” He looked at my hand and back at me blushing. I giggled. “I don’t bite Pat. Come on.” He slowly took my hand and let me lead him down to the shore line of the beach.

Buxom blondes and tanned muscular men were scattered around us, sun bathing, surfing, and flirting. I stopped and turned to Pat, who looked rather uncomfortable in this setting. He was about to get a lot more uncomfortable.

I moved my hands to the hem of my shirt and peeled it off of me, showing my new simple black bikini top. I slid my jeans off revealing my bottoms with a heart with wings on the back. When I map quested this place it showed it was right by the beach, so I wore my bikini and figured this would be one of the lessons.

Patrick stared, wondered, at me. He looked me up and down and blushed when he met my eyes. He looked at his feet. “What are you doing, Alice?” He whispered shyly.

I sighed deeply and grabbed his shoulders. “Look at me Stump.” He did. “You have to get over this shyness you have. Its crippling you! Don’t you see that?” He nodded and looked me in the eyes without blushing. I smiled, “Good job. Now strip.”

I chocked on his own spit. “WHAT?!”

I put my hand on my hip and smirked. “I.Said.Strip.”