We're Going Live

“Gerard?” I whispered, my voice coming out in a condensed mist. It was pitch black, I could only see a few trees and I could only see them once I had walked into one of them. Gerard had said he was going to the toilet and that was fifteen minutes ago, he would have been finished long ago by now. I found it silly to think he could have gotten lost but I couldn’t stand the thought of him blundering around in the wood the whole night, what if he walked out into the road and got hit by a car?

I caught hold of a tree, trying to follow every other sense I had apart from my eye sight. I stretched my hand out, jumping when I caught hold of a leaf.

Then I started worrying about Mikey.

He’d been having trouble the last few days, I couldn’t help but think if he choked on his own vomit, or if he had gone outside and lost his balance, lying in a crumpled heap by the doorway.

That made me turn around. I started to trample my way back down towards the house, my arms getting scratched and my feet beginning to throb. I suddenly whipped around, fear thudding outwardly in my heart when I heard a groan from what felt like my right side.

“Gerard?” I stuttered, goosebumps attacking me, “Gee? Is that you?” I asked, hugging myself. My muscles tensed as I heard another whining sort of groan, like it came from the back of a mans throat. Small whimpers slipped past my lips so I clamped my hand over my mouth, stepping forward hopefully.

I had seen too many horror movies for my own good. My mind spun, different scenario’s of my own death battling with my head. Whimpered beneath the clammy confines of my hand and sobbed lightly, clenching my eyes closed. The grunts had become louder, more spasming from the back of the throat, it sound strangled, almost like crying.

“Gerard?” I whispered, sniffing thickly, “Gerard are you there?” I cried, wiping my eyes.

“No,” a husky voice replied, from behind me. My heart thudded deep inside of me, my guts, falling down into my knees, “No… I’m the tree from The Evil Dead, coming to trespass up places only Gerard is allowed!”

I breathed out steadily, turning around to find Gerard standing there, only visible because of his pale chest that seemed to illuminate light. Relief pulled at me and I fell into his chest, my breathing laboured like a dehydrated dog.

“You’re a shit head, why didn’t you answer me? Was it you that made all those noises, I was so scared Gerard-“ he cut me off my pushing his lip roughly to mine, his tongue travelling heatedly along the corner of my bottom lip. He pushed me back, making me hit the tree behind me and my feet stumble on twigs. One of his hands fell down to my waist and the other went to my thigh.

“Hm…” he murmured against my neck, nipping at it, “You’re so sexy when you’re scared, so fucking sexy,” he whispered, repeating himself over and over as he pulled his trousers down so they were hooked around his thighs. I kissed him back feverishly, my finger nails digging into his back and pulling up the excess flesh, “You gonna turn around for me? We’re not gonn be able to do this if you just stand there gorgeous,” he grinned.

“I like looking at you though,” I muttered, burying my face in his collar bone.

“Gosh, you’re so old fashioned. I like to gaze into your eyes whilst making sweet love under a tree,” he grinned, picking me up regardless, “You can’t even see my face Doll, it’s fucking dark, I can’t see anything I’m just gonna have to rely on my extremely skilled hands,” he chuckled, beginning to move his hips, one of his forearms leaning against the tree, “Boy am I glad you were stupid enough to go outside in a night shirt, It’s so practical baby doll,” he murmured huskily.

“You told me…” I trailed off, un able to talk properly, “You said you were going for a pee,” I questioned quietly, chuckling.

“I did go for a slash Doll face, I just went for a slash on Zorro. Then I thought,” Gerard stopped, burying his face in the crook of my neck, “Then I thought, I thought I may as well rub one out all over his stupid grave as well.”

Zorro?

I stopped kissing him back, my lips still parted with shock that he would ever mention Zorro again. My heart beat quickened and I let my hands fall limp against his back.

“Don’t mention this to anyone,” Gerard murmured in my ear, nuzzling my skin, “It goes to the grave, right?” he said, I nodded and pushed my face into his chest, “Don’t cry, shh,” he whispered, rocking me from side to side, “Don’t cry Doll, you’re breaking my heart,” he said softly, brushing his hand through my tangled hair, “Come on, we’ll go to my house, have a shower -a bit of dinner and then I’ll walk you back to your house,” he murmured whilst we walked passed our den towards the edge of the woods.

I withdrew my hands from his back, to his shoulder about to stop, or ask him why but he just grabbed my fore arm and tucked it back around his neck, letting strangled cry’s fill the air.

“Gee?” I asked, my stomach knotting itself, he looked up from my shoulder, the rocking of his hips slowly completely when he realised I wasn’t even making an attempt anymore.

“There’s no one looking is there?” Gerard whispered, clenching his muscles as if some one was going to come up behind him and join in.

“Why did you even go back to Andy? I thought we weren’t gonna have anything else to so with him?” I asked, “You said,” I muttered, feeling childishly.

“Huh? Doll can’t we take about this later? I’m hard enough to fucking sit on right now,” he murmured, pulling back again. I furrowed my brow and pushed my hand against his chest, dropping my legs from around his hips, “Oh, please, come on, do you think I actually care? I mean look at me? I’m a man in the forest with his pants down by his ankles –do I care? I think not!” he said, yanking his trousers up.

“I care! What is killing to you now?”

“It’s just a thing!” Gerard said, throwing his hands up in the air, “Who cares! I’d go jizz on his grave again if I could, in fact I might just go do that considering you’re leaving me in such a fragile state!” he yelled after me as I stalked away, “Be careful! His grave his over there, I’m pointing at it now and he’d gonna fucking rise from the dad and chase after you if you’re not fucking careful!” he screamed in frustration.

I know it was silly, but I stopped and turned in the other direction so quickly I could barely see, I turned so quickly I walked right into a tree.

I let out a small yell and thudded to the floor, hearing Gerard swear and begin to jog towards me, his hands under my arms to yank me up.

“God you’re so fucking stupid,” he muttered, brushing me down.

“Can’t you just stop being weird and come back with me?” I asked weakly, rubbing my eyebrow where a branch had hit particularly hard. He tucked my hair behind my ears and shook his head, “Why not Gerard?” I asked, pushing myself up, “You know I hate leaving Mikey on his own, he’s not even himself I’m sick of you fucking around as well,” I said, shivering inside my thing nightie, “Just grow up for a few days? Mikey needs to go to hospital-“

“I need a hardcore shag but blatantly I’m not going to get that right now,” he muttered.

“Gerard please… not now for fuck sake! Don’t you understand? Mikey’s really ill, he needs to go to hospital but we can’t go because they’ll find out about us! Just stop thinking about yourself and come with me, please?” I asked, taking his wrist.
“I would very much like to come with you, but you’re making that quite difficult with that fact,” he muttered, tugging away.

“Gerard!” I said, stepping sideways a little so I could see his face in the light glow of the moon, “Just please! Don’t you care about Mikey at all?”

“He’s not ill! He’s laying it on thick!” Gerard protested, scratching his bare chest, “You know he is Doll!” he hissed, un tucking his shirt which he had propped in his jeans.

I knew he was saying Mikey was fine simply because he didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that if the knife hadn’t his Mikey, he wouldn’t be ill. I didn’t blame Gerard, Mikey didn’t either, but Gerard seemed to just blame himself.

“Gee please, just come back with me,” I probed, pushing my hand into his again.

“No, I don’t want to see him!” he protested, tears welling in his eyes. He swallowed thickly, a stony glare set on his face. I stared back at him, watching as the hot water collected in the corners of his eyes, “Just shut up,” he spat, a tears rolling down the side of his nose, “Just shut the fuck up,” he concluded, wiping it away with his hands and storming away, twigs cracking under his shoes.

“Gerard! Come back!-“

“Fuck off!” he yelled back, disappearing into the forest.