Just to Hold You Close and Tight

The next thing I knew, my ear pieces were pulled out of my ears. Ray wasn’t in front of me, so I turned my chair around to force him.

He was smirking. “Wow, you were really into that.”

“I was escaping my mind,” I muttered as I stood up.

“Why would you need to do that?” he asked, leading me down the stairs.

“I’m sick of listening to myself think,” I said sourly. Ray just smiled.

However, when I went to open my car door, he wiped the smile off his face.

I froze in concern. “What’s wrong?”

Avoiding my eyes, he said, “I’m… really sorry about this, but I haven’t been in a car since what happened.”

“Oh,” I said abruptly. “So…”

“Forgive me if I freak out at any point.”

I rolled my eyes. Ray did not seem like the kind of person to freak out. Then again, he also didn’t say anything that didn’t need to be said. This made me frown, but I nodded. I stepped into my car, and Ray hesitated before stepping through the closed car door and sitting in the seat.

I put on my seat belt, and turned the car on. Turning to Ray, I said jokingly, “Put on your seat belt!”

To my surprise, he shot me a short glare. Slowly, he replied, “Ha, ha. You know I don’t need it, and it would look scary to anyone else. A seat belt around nothing.” He talked through clenched teeth, but he didn’t seem that angry. He looked like he was concentrating.

I turned on the radio and said, “Close your eyes. It might help.”

He didn’t answer, but obeyed. He recited direction, but after a final apology, he was completely silent. I didn’t mind, though, and concentrated on my driving to keep my mind occupied.

After a while, I pulled into the movie theater driveway and parked my car. Heaving a sigh of relief, Ray jumped through the door.

I smiled at him as we stood outside my car. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” I said.

He shook his head absentmindedly.

“What movie do you want to see?” I asked.

“You pick. I can see any movie any time without paying.”

“Sounds like fun,” I replied, knowing he wouldn’t like me saying that, but saying it anyways.

“What’s the point if I’m alone?” he asked, almost glaring at me again. He knew I said it sounded fun just to annoy him.

I laughed. “Whatever. You’re just saying that that to make me feel good.”

He rolled his eyes and started walking towards the theater. “Just remember we’re in public. I… I’m sorry you can’t talk to me like you could to a normal person.” This was the Ray I only got to see every once and a while.

“I really don’t mind. Stop apologizing for things you can’t help. I’ll deal with it,” I replied. Then I had to stop talking, because I was at the ticket booth. I bought a ticket to a movie I thought we both would enjoy.

When I handed my money to the man, Ray said, “I’m also sorry I can’t pay for your ticket. You know I would if I could.”

I ignored the pleasure that shot through me when I realized this was pretty much a date, considering he would have paid for my ticket. Instead, I glared at him for apologizing once again. He smiled innocently, so I couldn’t stay mad at him.

I loved his smile. He didn’t smile often enough; he was always either frowning or expressionless.

I had to admit to myself that I hadn’t paid much attention to the movie. I kept stealing glances at Ray. Sometimes he was looking at me too. Actually, he was almost always looking at me. This continually made me look away and blush, only to look back again. When the movie ended, we both walked out grinning from ear to ear. I wasn’t quite sure why he was grinning, but I was grinning because I was pretty sure that he liked me like I liked him. As more than a friend.