Just to Hold You Close and Tight

It made me feel guilty to cry like that. I shouldn’t have done it in front of Ray, but when he kissed my locket, I lost it. Even if I did feel bad about it, I couldn’t help but be grateful he was there.

I probably cried for half an hour, and the whole time he muttered apologies and tried to comfort me. It broke my heart when I realized he would probably never kiss my locket again, for fear of getting the same reaction out of me.

Finally, I whispered, “Please… It’s not your fault. That was just something I needed to get out of my system. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s okay,” he said, squeezing me. “I would cry too, if it wouldn’t make you cry harder.”

“It would.”

“That’s why I won’t,” he replied. I wished I could have decided not to cry so easily.

I wiped away the last of my tears, but I didn’t want to get up.

“Do you mind…” he began, but he hesitated before finishing, “explaining?”

I turned to look at him. Maybe explaining would be good. Maybe it would be better if he understood. I took a deep breath. “I cried because I wished the locket was me.”

He frowned. “Didn’t you know the kiss was meant for you?”

I shrugged, saying, “Yeah, but it wasn’t me. I cried because it can’t be me, and it never will be.”

He shook his head and sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Just forget this happened,” I said.

Ray laughed bitterly. “I wish it was that simple. How could I forget this?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I guess that’s unrealistic.”

“Just a little,” he replied sarcastically. This surprised me. He was almost always serious.

I wiped my eyes one last time, saying, “I’m hungry. Let’s go get lunch.”

“Whatever you want,” he said, sitting up.

Ray was with me for almost every second for that day and the next, whether I was eating, sleeping, or watching tv. I was past grateful. I didn’t know what I would have done without him.

Finally, on Thursday, I could go to school. Well, okay, I’ll admit that I wasn’t too happy about the school part. It was more the idea of getting out of the house.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” my mom asked for the thousandth time. She was sitting at the table with me, watching me eat breakfast.

“I’m fine!” I exclaimed. “Really!”

“Okay, okay,” she said, sitting back. “Sorry. I just don’t want you to overexert yourself.”

I ignored her, and got into my car. Yes, Ray had ensured that I would be driving to school from now on. Even though my parents had forbidden me from walking, Ray was ultimately the reason I was driving. I didn’t have to listen to my parents, but he made sure of it. I remembered the short dispute earlier that morning.

“Oh, come on,” I had said. “It’s not like something so dramatic would happen to me again.”

“Dramatic?” he had asked, laughing. “Everything that happens to you is dramatic. I mean… look at me!” He pointed to himself. “Obviously,” he had continued, “dramatic things happen to you. It’s probably not the best idea to push your luck.”

I had rolled my eyes, but I let it go. He was kind of right. Okay, he was way right.