Just to Hold You Close and Tight

Ben and Ray chatted about trivial things, like the rest of their friends, an annoying teacher, etc. I listened to them without a word.

I was right when I thought Ray was taking Ben to our place. I was especially annoyed when Ray sat on a rock and motioned for Ben to sit on one across from him. I was left unnoticed, standing.

This was when Ray filled Ben in on everything. How he couldn’t touch people, could only touch the animals that could see him, and could touch or go through inanimate objects whenever he wanted.

Finally, Ben asked the question I had been waiting for. “Okay,” he said, “So what does she have to do with this?” He talked as if I wasn’t there.

Ray seemed to suddenly remember I was there. He turned and looked at me guiltily. It was hard, considering how soft his eyes were, to glare at him, but I did. He couldn’t just ignore me like that and get away with it.

Although he didn’t apologize out loud, his eyes said it all. They bore into mine as he talked to Ben. “She is Amber, Ben, so call her by her name, please.”

I smiled smugly at Ben. “Fine. What does Amber have to do with anything?” he asked.

Ray answered Ben while still looking at me. This pleased me more. I almost forgot I was mad at him. “Amber,” he said, stubbornly using my name like he had told Ben to, “had been able to see me since the first time I saw her. See, she moved into my old room. I was curious as to who was moving in, so I went to see, expecting she wouldn’t be able to see me. She could. You couldn’t see me until this morning.”

“So?” Ben asked, obviously a little hurt. It shamed me that I enjoyed this.

“I am Amber’s boyfriend,” Ray said. I loved how he said he was my boyfriend instead of saying I was his girlfriend. It was as if he was saying he belonged to me and not the other way around. “Our theory as to why she can see me is that our lives were supposed to impact each other so much, my death couldn’t change it.” Mumbling, he added, “Or at least not completely.”

I grinned at Ben again. I was thoroughly enjoying this. No one but my friends knew Ray was my boyfriend. I like it when he told someone, especially Ben. I did not like Ben.

“So why do you think I can see you all of a sudden?” Ben asked, trying to ignore me.

Ray’s frown deepened. “I’m not entirely sure. I’ve been thinking all day, but it seems more complicated. Who knows what day something changed, and you would be able to see me.

“What changed?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said, “but something changed sometime while you were in the hospital. I only wish we knew exactly what day it was, so we can know what caused the change.”

“What?” Ben asked, confused. “Why does Amber being in the hospital affect when I noticed you? I didn’t see you yesterday, so obviously you became visible to me today.”

“We don’t know if I was visible to you yesterday, or the day before, or a week before that, because I’ve been with Amber the whole time, and she hasn’t been in school,” Ray snapped.

“Oh,” was all Ben could say.

I knew what day had changed everything. It had to have been the most important day. Of course! It was they day I told Ray I loved him.

I locked eyes with him, and instantly knew that he knew what day it was too. It was the day he told me he loved me.

“It could only mean one thing, “Ray said directly to me. “Somehow, saying that gave Ben a reason to see me. But what was it?”