So Everybody Loves You

Still Billie's POV

"Adeline." I breathed, just barely above a whisper. She swallowed now as well. Uh oh, this couldn't be good. "Look, I know you've obviously heard everything I just said down there. I know, but Adeline, can we just talk about it?" She just stood there, still in shock I guess. I was hoping in was out of shock and not horror. "Come on Adeline talk to me." "Billie I-I don't know what to say." She said looking down. I walked closer to her, a little nervous. "Just, come on Adeline." I took her hand gently and led her back down the hall towards he room.

"I know this is gonna sound crazy to you, but over these past few months we've been here, I've really gotten attached to you. I feel like I'm falling in love with you Adeline. I adore your kids. Okay, I don't know how you feel. I don't know what you're thinking right now. I mean, for all I know I'm just another crazy fool looking for a way to get a one night stand. But I'm not Adeline. You have to believe that. I know you've had a hard time and a hard past. And I know that since your last husband, you've rarely dated/ I understand that. I don't know exactly what it is that keeps you locked away from the world of associating with other men, all I know is what Melissa's told me. And that's not much, just that you always turn dates down when you're asked out. Okay, but think of it this way Adeline. I'm not asking you out. I'm asking you to give me a chance."

She sat there in silence just staring at me. I heard a thump outside the door and a few whispers which told me that Mike and Tre were eavesdropping again. I rolled my eyes and brushed it off. I took her hand in mine and looked up at her. "Talk to me Adeline." "I-I can't. I can't do this Billie Joe." "Why not Adeline? Huh? Tell me why?" "I just can't okay?" "Okay? Okay? No, no I'm sorry it's not okay! You've known me for almost four months now if not more, I can't even keep track anymore because it feels like I've known you for years! You can tell me your entire history and anything that comes along in your present and you can tell me everything except what happened with your ex, except why you won't date anyone anymore, except why you won't let me in and give me chance Adeline! Yet I tell you everything! Everything! Anything you want to know or feel you need to know about me, because I care about you! Why won't you just talk to me dang it?!"

By this time she was crying, tears streaming down her face. It killed me to see her like this and it literally hurt. All I wanted to do was run to her, hold her in my arms, kiss her and tell her it'd all be alright. But no, that was too good to be true and by the looks of it, that's not even what she wanted. "Don't cry Adeline you're stronger than this, I know you are! Look at yourself! Are you wanting sympathy? Is that it? You want sympathy but no love? Come on Adeline tell me what it is because I really need to know!" I was yelling again. I knew it was only hurting her worse but talking was getting nowhere! Sooner or later she had to break.

"No Billie Joe! No! I'm not trying to get sympathy I'm not! I don't want! That's why I hate guys! I hate them! The never give me any credit for anything! No, Jacoby Shaddix did not leave me and my baby. I left him! I felt horrible for it for months because I knew he truly loved me, and I truly loved him. But life on the road with a rock star was not what a little baby needed! It's not! So I left! Then I found out I was pregnant with Maria, and he came back around, he wanted to see his babies. He saw Maria only once and never again because I moved away shortly after. He's re-married though, with two beautiful boys, he's happy now so I know I did the right thing. But you, Billie Joe Armstrong, you have no right to come in my home and tell me how much I'm looking for sympathy when I need none of yours! I've raised my babies on my own practically from day one until this day, so if I was looking for sympathy I guess I'd be roaming the streets, homeless, with my babies trying to find help from any scum bag I could find, now wouldn't I?"

Her words were sharp like jagged ice, and I can only imagine how mine must've felt for her. Because the strongest woman I knew at that moment, I had actually broke to crying. And I had come to realization that it was not for sympathy, but for pain. And it was because of me. The thought that killed me worse than that, was admitting it. That I was the reason she'd hurt this much. I felt guilt run through every inch of my body as she sat there, with her tear stained face, staring down at the floor. i felt a huge pang of guilt hit me in the stomach, but the worse pain was the one that ached my heart. Now, if never before, I'd probably never have a chance with the most wonderful woman in the world. And that terrified me. It ripped my heart out of my very chest, and tore it to shreds at my very feet. Just simply, the very thought of it.