Shattered By Broken Dreams

Zacky and I were now laid out on the couch. He laid on his back, an arm bent that was tucked underneath his head so he could still view the television screen. His other arm dangled off of the edge of the couch with his fingers gripping onto a bottle of bud. I laid more or less on the top of him. My left arm wrapped around his torso and a bottle of bud clung onto my finger tips and me left leg drapped over one of his.

We both have had a bit too much drink and earlier we were play fighting and fell back onto the couch, our beers still in our hands. Quite surprisingly, we never spilled a drop. Since then, we have just lounged and watch TV. We wasn't watching anything special, just a few music and now CSI: Miami. But no matter how drunk i was, i still had the conversation i had with Will in my head.

"Zacky?"

Zacky didn't look down at me, he carried on watching the televsion screen. "What?" He finally answers after a few seconds.

"I have to tell you something," I tell him, pushing myself up. "Its really important."

"Can't it wait until after CSI?"

"Zacky, its about Will."

Now that got Zacky's attention. He flung his round quickly and stared at me sharply. He pushed himself up, so he was not sitting beside me. "What about Will?"

I couldn't bare looking into Zacky's eyes, so i looked down in shame. It is now or never, I thought. But i know i'm doing the right thing, because if i get in too deep, Will could land me in a whole lot of trouble. He's saying prison has changed him, but coming to think of it, i always recognized that evil glint in his eyes. He's still got his connections to the drug world and this time, i'm not going down with him.

"I lied earlier." I confessed, feeling the tears rise. "I lied about the phone call with Raine."

"What do you mean, you 'lied about the phone call with Raine'?"

"Before i got into the car with you and Jimmy!" I snapped, letting my tears finally fall. My now came to a hallow whisper. "Zacky, i'm so scared."

"Sarah, you're making no fucking sense!" Zacky yelled, now grabbing me by the shoulders. "Who was on the phone to you?"

I couldn't answer, i was started to choke on my tears. I gripped Zacky's hands and tried to pry him off of me, but i was not strong enough. Heavy sobs escaped my lips and tried my best to answer him, but it only came out as a stutter. "W-W-"

"W-?" Zacky stared into my eyes confused, but it soon clicked. "Will?"

I nodded my head. Zacky lets his hands slowly slide off of my shoulders and sat back. I pulled my knee's up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I stared at Zacky as he sat there in thought. I couldn't read him, not at all, not at all like usually could. I jumped slightly and bit my bottom lip soon as Zacky sprung up from the couch. Standing up, i walked after him.

"Zacky, what are you doing?" I ask him, watching him with wondering eyes. He was starting to make me feel nervous. Especially when he never answered me. "Zacky?!"

"What Sarah?!" He shouts, quickly turning on his heel to look at him.

I jumped back, i looked down in shame once again. "Don't shout at me, Zacky, please?"

"Sarah, how can i not? You've told me and the guys that you fucked Will off all together, end of story. When really, you've fucking lied to us. Lied to the people who have been your family since you was eight years old! Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because i thought i would be able to handle it, OK?!" I screamed at him. "I thought i would be able to sort this shit out on my own, but..."

"But you fucking can't!" Zacky finishes. "Now you're choking on your fucking pride, but i guess it has been the only way to make you actually fucking realize you can't so this on your own!"

He was right. Zacky was right. I never thought i would actually admit, but it was true. I always thought i never needed anyone, i never needed anyone to fight my battles - no matter how small or big - i didn't need anyone. But i guess this fight, to keep Will away, i wouldn't be able to finish on my own. I actually needed help, so i now hope and pray that i was going to get it, even though i have lied.

Looking up into Zacky's, watery, green eyes, i felt my heart break. Throughout all of this ordeal, it was like living in a dream. Will was in jail and i know he a know way of getting to me, but because of his good behaviour and maybe some of his twisted words, my wonderful peaceful dream with Zacky and the guys has come shattering down. I was now stuck and cornered and had no where to go. Thats why i had to confess.

"Zacky, i'm so sorry." I sobbed. "I understand if you hate me, and don't blame the guys if they do, but i had to tell you. I can't tell you how scared i am."

Zacky clenched his eyes shut and bit his bottom lip. Finally reopening his eyes, he opened his arms and pulled me into his chest and wrapping his arms around me tightly. He kissed my forehead and laid his head on the top of mine. "I am never going to let anyone harm you, you hear me?"

"I do." I whimpered, wrapping my arms around his torso.

Pulling back a little bit, Zacky cupped my face in his big hands. "I wish you wouldn't do this shit to yourself."

I chuckled, i shook my head. "What do you expect, its me."

Zacky smiled and pulled me into his arms. "You do know i have to ring the guys and get them over here ASAP."

"I know," I said, pulling back from him and wiping uner my eyes. "You might as well and get them rang now."

Zacky walked off towards the house phone as i headed into the upstairs bathroom. I looked into the mirror and noticed that my mascara and eyeliner had ran down my cheeks and smudged around my eyes. Even though i still felt shook up inside, i felt relieved now that i had finally admitted the truth. It was like a load of weight was taken off of my shoulder. The feeling felt pure and felt more at ease. The only thing i had to get through now was the other four.