We Need No Introduction

“Look what I found,” I said as I jumped on to my bed.

“What?” Bam asked.

I smiled and laughed lightly. “Remember a couple years back when we raided those protestors?” Bam thought a moment and then laughed while nodding. “Say hello to the first movie we’re watching.”

“Nice, put it in.” I quickly got off my bed and pushed in the tape, pressing play on the remote. As the static of the beginning came up, I sat beside Bam on my bed.

Ryan’s face popped up on screen and he adjusted the camera so it was centered on him. He looked to be in the confines of his old room.

“Oh my god, Dunn looks like such a queer,” Bam said with a laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh myself, but slapped his arm anyway.

“Shut up and watch,” I said.

”Okay,” Ryan said onscreen. "This is the first video. We’re going to go to Blair’s house and Bam’s gonna have her pull up a riot with some skateboarding protestors.”

“Dunn, hurry the fuck up! Jimmy’s here!” Bam said in the background.

“I call this Protesting the Protestors.” The screen cut off and a second later, there was my nineteen year old face.

“Oh god,” I said.

“Aren’t you beautiful?” Bam asked in a girly voice. I laughed and shook my head.

My nineteen year old self grimaced. ”Leana,” I whined, looking over to Leana. “Don’t give me that look." The camera pointed over to Leana and she was grinning like mad.

”What?”

Onscreen me pointed to the camera as it panned over to me. ”He’s filming me already and we’re not even there yet.”

“Oh, c’mon. Say something for the camera.” The camera zoomed into my forehead, where I had a major pimple that day. I laughed and shook my head. This is the first time I’ve seen this.

”Something for the camera.”

“You know you love us.” The camera panned over to Bam, quickly zooming out.

”You are very funny.”

“Hey Leana!”

”Yeah?”

“Is Blair’s period due?”

Bam cracked up both on and off screen.

“Shut up,” I mumbled.

”Don’t ask me that! I don’t know!

I started humming onscreen and the camera pointed to Bam.

”What?”

“Say something for the camera.”

“Like what?”

“Like… what you think’s gonna happen.”

“Well, Blair’s gonna hate me, but it’ll be hilarious.”

The camera shut off then came back on cued at all the protestors. The camera zoomed in on Bam and I running towards the crowd on our boards, doing various things.

“We were pretty good, huh?” Bam asked.

“I think so,” I replied, not taking my mind off the screen.

”So when do you think he’s gonna tell her how he feels?” Leana asked on screen. I looked over at Bam and raised my eyebrow. He didn’t look toward me, but instead kept his eyes on the television, which I also decided to do.

”Hopefully soon so I won’t have to hear about it… Why are they running off?” Dunn questioned.

Jimmy’s phone rang and he answered it. We’re meeting them at Wal-Mart.”

The camera shut off and the screen faded to static.

“So when were you going to tell me how you feel?” I asked coyly. Bam looked at me and grinned.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would,” I replied. “how about you tell me now?”

“Okay,” he said and turned on his stomach, looking up at me. “I’m in love with you,” he said in all it’s seriousness.

“Aww,” I cooed. “You’re so cute.”

The screen came back on and Bam and I looked at it.

“I didn’t know there was more on here,” I said.

“Me either, what else would he tape?” Bam replied in a question.

”This is the day I think Bam’s going to get lucky,”Dunn said while centering the camera once more in his old room. ”Matt just called Bam and asked him to prank Wittle Bwaire Despair… What are you gonna do, Bammie Boy?”

“Shut the fuck up, retard and don’t call me Bammie Boy. Anyways… I have the perfect idea. I’m gonna hide this note somewhere and say someone wants to go out on a date with her, but she won’t know who. Then when she shows up, it’ll be me.”

“That's… not much of a prank, dude.”

“I think so.”

“That’s a sucky ass prank.”

“No it’s not!”

“Yeah, dude. It is. It’s not even funny… that’s like… that’s just tricking her into a date.”

“But… it’s cool.”

“Not in the slightest bit.”

Bam jumped on Ryan and they both fell to the floor.

“What that on the day I pranked you?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“I feel really bad now.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I got you know so that’s all that matters.”

I smiled, shaking my head and laid down so I could cuddle into his chest. The camera clicked off once more and then on again, with who else? Yeah. Ryan.

”Plan’s fucking over!” Bam yelled as Ryan jumped.

What?”

“She fucking threw rotten milk at me and got fucking Matt and Jimmy to help her.”

“So that’s why you smell like shit.”

“Yeah. It is. I’m fucking done messing with her shit. I’ve got the prank to end all mother fucking pranks.”

“And what would that be?”

“Hide weed in her room then tell her folks. She’ll get grounded and I can laugh in her face.”

“What if they totally spaz and she gets worse than being grounded?”

“That’s not gonna happen because this is full proof.”

“Where you gonna get this weed?”

“Novak has connections. I’ll just go to him and say what’s going on. You gotta help me though.”

“No fucking way man!”

“You will or I’ll tell Blair what you think of her.”

“Fine! Fine! I’ll do it!”

I looked to Bam. “What’s he think of me?”

Bam laughed. “He is madly infatuated with you.”

“What?!” I shrieked. “But he’s only like a brother to me!”

“I know, babe. But it’s cool because you’re all mine now.”

The camera shut off, showing another clip, this time of Bam and I nearly yelling at each other at the park. “He fucking likes to tape shit with me, doesn’t he?” I asked.

Bam laughed. “What’d I tell ya?”

“I didn’t even know he had a camera on him that day.”

”Dunn, put that thing away.”

“It’s for documentary purposes.”

“I don’t fucking care. I’m here for Blair. I need to apologize to her!”

“She doesn’t want your apologies, man.”

“Look, I’m not going to fight you over this. I need to tell her I’m sorry.”

“She won’t believe you. I mean… Leana completely ignored her and stomped away. You’ve split her family from her, dude.”

“What can I do? This prank went too far. I completely crossed the line. Everything she said to me earlier was right…”

“If you’re motivated enough, I’m sure you’ll find away, but right not she just needs to be left alone.”

“If she needs to be left alone then why the fuck are you with her?!”

“Because she wanted to get out of the house away from you Bam, I offered to drive her wherever she wanted to go.”

“Do you think I’d be able to get a third chance?”

“No, Blair gives second chances, but usually third chances are nonexistent.”

“Aw…” I said. “I feel so bad.”

“It’s okay,” Bam said, kissing the top of my head. “I deserved it for being an ass.”

I sighed and kissed him on the lips.