Forever Fades Away

BRIAN

“Mae, are you okay? Get me something to clean her up with, Matt,” I said to him as I held onto Mae and brought her inside. I sat her down on a chair in the kitchen. Zack had grabbed a baggie and started putting ice inside.

She was shaking so much but I wasn’t sure if it was from the adrenaline or because she was scared of something.

“Mae, are you hurting somewhere?” Val came up to her and caressed her face. I had wiped off some of the blood that had dripped out of her nose. All in all, that was pretty much it what Carrie had done. She had some long scratches on her neck where she managed to claw at.

“No, guys thanks. I’m fine.” She grabbed the towel with ice and put it on her nose. I felt everyone’s eyes on me next.

“Baby, you didn’t have to do that.” I kneeled down to her level, “but it’s good to know you love me that much.”

“You really kicked her ass,” Jimmy piped in. Mae chuckled.

“Thanks, but she really pissed me off. I’m sorry though, I feel really embarrassed.” She was calm now, thank god.

“Don’t be, I’d do the same thing to someone else,” I reassured her. I rubbed her back and Val continued to brush her hair away from her face.

“Here have a beer, you deserve it,” Johnny held one out for her.

“No thanks Johnny, I don’t feel like drinking anymore,” she looked away.

“How about some ice cream?” Johnny asked again.

“Okay, but don’t eat it. I’m gonna go clean up and I expect cherries and bananas, the whole shebang.”

She got up and walked out of the room. I didn’t follow her. I wanted to give her some space. She looked really upset when she had figured out what she had done.

“Brian?” Mae was back.

“Yeah?” I walked over to her. Everyone else had started making themselves some ice cream cones in the kitchen.

“Can you help me upstairs please?”

Once in the bathroom upstairs, I helped her take her shirt off. She had a bruise forming on her back, “Does that hurt?”

“What?” she turned herself around and looked into the mirror. “Whoa, nope doesn’t hurt at all. I wonder what I got it from.” She started to laugh. Her laughed turned uneasy. She put on a clean shirt and looked at me.

“Listen I have something to tell you. I wanted to wait to find out if I was or not until after our vacation but after what I just did earlier, I need to know now.” She walked out the bathroom and ran over to her dresser. I looked at her curious to find out what she was talking about. She came back with a purple box in hand. It was a pregnancy test. My stomach turned inside.

“You’re pregnant?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Well I have a hunch that I do because I forgot to take my pills and I haven’t had my period in a while, but I haven’t taken the test. I don’t want to, to be honest actually.”

She silently placed the box onto the counter. I gulped.

“Say something. Say anything,” Mae said.

“What do you want me to say?” I looked at the box.

“What?”

“Well you seem upset that you might be pregnant. I don’t want to be jumping with joy if you fucking don’t want to be. I’m happy with whatever happens Mae. Take the test.”

“No!” She yelled.

“Why not? Mae if you are you might have hurt the baby just now. You need to take the test. Why won’t you take it?”

She started to cry. Oh shit, the hormones.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry I’m just scared. I thought you would be more upset because of what I did earlier.”

“Carrie deserved it.”

Her crying eased and she picked up the box. She ripped it open and went for the toilet. Her pants were dropped in a split second. I turned around to give her privacy. A smile started to form on my face then. This could be it. I could be a dad. My heart leaped with joy.

She finished peeing on the stick and came back up to the counter. She placed the stick on some toilet paper.

I pulled her to my chest and gave her a kiss on her forehead, “No matter what happens I’ll always love you and yes, we’ll still be going to Mexico. We can make more babies there,” I tried to lighten the mood up a bit. She was nervous and scared. I on the other hand was getting more excited by the minute.

“What if I’m not pregnant?” Mae asked.

“We’ll figure that out once we get there. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to leave you. And I wouldn’t mind having kids with you,” I rubbed her shoulder. She seemed more relaxed now.

“How long do I have to wait?” I asked her.

“I don’t know. I didn’t read how long.” She picked up the directions and carefully read them. She placed them back down. “Should be ready to read now. A horizontal line is negative, a plus is positive.”

She grabbed the stick and held it in her hand. I grabbed her other free hand and gave it a squeeze. She looked up towards the ceiling and took a deep breath. She looked at it, and didn’t move.

“What?” I tried to see what it was.

The little blue line going across the monitor was pale. I saw no horizontal line. She wasn’t pregnant.

Mae kept looking at the stick. She suddenly let out a huge breath of air and threw the stick out in front of her. She turned to me with huge tears about to spill over. I was paralyzed. I didn’t know if I should comfort her by telling her congratulations or telling her it would be okay.

I didn’t know how I felt either. I was excited when she thought about the possibility of having a baby. Now I felt happy yet upset. It was a mix of emotions I haven’t experienced too much in my life before.

Mae’s tears spilled over and I still didn’t move.

“Oh thank god!” she yelled and ran into my arms. I embraced her and stifled out a small laugh. She was happy she wasn’t pregnant.

She looked up at me and her smile faded, “I’m sorry Brian.”

“Baby, it’s okay it’s just sorta a lot to process right now. I could have been a dad. No worries, I’m sure one day we’ll have one.”

“I’m still going to make an appointment though. Maybe take another test to be positive, although there’s never false negatives.”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay. You’ve been super stressed these days. I’m pretty sure it’s okay.” She smiled back at me.

“Let’s go downstairs.” I grabbed her hand and led her back to our friends.

_______________________________

Days later…

BRIAN

“Zack! Dude, come and get your bags you fat fuck!” I yelled at Zack. He was talking to fans that had recognized us at the airport. I had no idea what they were talking about earlier, I don’t know a lick of Spanish.

“I love the looks I keep getting from people,” I said to Mae. A nice black bruise had formed below her left eye. I couldn’t help but laugh at her behind her back.

We had decided to bring Zack along as well. He needed a stress reliever really bad right about now. He had gone back to his home he shared with Gena and it was really empty. Poor guy I felt bad for him.

“What’s the name of the resort?” I asked Mae. She had been in a great mood since finding out she wasn’t pregnant. That same night she got drunk and told everyone she loved them one too many times.

“Um, I don’t know. I have to look at the brochure. Where’s Zack?”

I looked around for him and didn’t see him anymore. This was going to really piss me off.

“Okay so let’s go,” he was standing behind me and scared the shit out of me.

“Asshole! You scared me. Let’s go.”