Forever Fades Away

MAE

Brian has been home from the hospital for two measly days and he’s already smoking like a damn train. His doctor said to lay off the booze and ease up on the smoking. That was only after Brian threw a hissy fit when Dr. O’Brien said to quit altogether.

His heart was doing fine. The valve would only need to be repaired, which would happen in two weeks. Until then, Brian would take some medications and rest for the most part. I was still worried though. He was now glassware in my eyes, ready to break into minute pieces if handled wrong. He on the other had thought he was invincible. Boy was he wrong.

I had been sitting on the sofa doing my homework while Brian flipped through channels. He looked zoned out, no doubt wondering if he should cancel the show. He was sprawled out on the couch, while I sat on the love seat off to the side.

“I think I’m going to take a semester off,” I broke the silence. Brian never moved his eyes off the huge plasma screen.

“Taking a semester off, or quitting altogether.” I hated Brian. He could read me like a book. That wasn’t fair. Since coming home Brian had been very observant. He knew whatever was going to happen before anything was said or done. It wasn’t like he didn’t care about anything before, he just needed to know what was going on in everyone’s eyes.

“Um, well.--” I tried to start speaking.

“No Mae. Its fine if you take a semester off, but you’re not dropping out. I know I’m going to sound like your damn father, but I won’t allow it. I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m fucking dying. Everything is going to be fine. I don’t need a damn babysitter!” He was angry now. He stood up, slowly, and turned off the television. He finally looked into my eyes.

I looked away. Brian was the reason why I wanted to drop out. I wanted to take care of him, make sure everything would be ok in the end. It made sense in my mind, I didn’t care how practical it would be.

“If you’re so intent on this whole motherly figure shit, go have a fucking baby.” Brian spat out. He walked around the couch and grabbed his keys that had been hanging near the front door. He took one look back at me. This time my eyes never left his. Brian turned around, grabbed the door knob to open it and left.

I started to cry. Maybe I was taking it too far. Like the doctors said, Brian was fine. He would be able to play the show if he absolutely needed to, even though the Doctor said it would be wise not to. Brain took that as a green light to go.

My phone soon vibrated seconds after. It was Val.

“Hello?” I tried to sound calm.

“Hey sweetheart, what’s up?” My façade was eloquently played.

“Just hanging out by myself. What are you doing today?” A girls night out would be amazing.

“Where’s Brian? I’m just at home, if you want to come over. Matt left a while ago so I just wanted to try to get the girls together here for some drinks. You want to come?” It was as though she read my mind.

“Yeah! That sounds awesome! Let me get ready and I’ll head on over.” I took off up the stairs to my bedroom.

“OK, see you soon, bye.” I hung up the phone and tossed it onto the bed. I raced back to the walk-in closet and looked for an outfit excitedly. I decided on a dress I had recently bought with the girls. It was casual yet complimenting. I got dressed, did my hair, and ran out the house.

“The door is open!” I heard come from the other side. I had driven to Matt and Val’s place in record time. I opened the door and was greeted by all the girls. Leana was the first to come up to me.

“You came! I thought Val was just messing with us when she said you would come over,” she said.

“And miss seeing my girls?” It was true, I missed my girls.

“Whatever, she heard there was going to be booze and she knew she couldn’t miss out on that,” Lacey added.

“I’m not a drunk!” I laughed out loud as I said that. “So what’s the plan then? Are we staying here or are we going out to a club or bar?” I didn’t want to bring Brian up. I had deliberately ignored Val’s question on the phone earlier.

“It’ll be cheaper if we go out. We can get free drinks from guys.” Leana added. She was right. Guys are always willing to buy any pretty lady a drink. Gena, Lacey, and Val agreed.

“Alright. Sounds good. Lets take a cab downtown, that way we can all get plastered,” Leana said.

“If you want to,” Val quickly added, looking my way.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Crap, I was digging myself a hole here now. Val smiled and walked out to her bedroom to grab her things. The rest of us ladies waited in the living room for her. The front door soon swung open.

“Why hello ladies!” Matt walked in and was caught by surprise with all of us there. Brian and Jimmy walked in behind him. I immediately looked away. I was still upset with Brian. He didn’t have to be so harsh about it earlier.

Leana ran up to Jimmy and gave him a quick kiss. Val came downstairs and saw the boys.

“Hey guys.” She smiled at Matt and blew him a kiss. Brian stayed back behind the two. He looked around and went to sit down.

“Where you girls headed off to? And without us!” Matt playful said. He plopped himself next to Brian. Brian looked up to me waiting for a response.

“Having a girls night. So no boys allowed,” Gena finally spoke up.

“You’re going with them?” Brian asked. He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I am.” I said and quickly looked away. “C’mon girls, cab is here.” I grabbed my purse from the side table. All the girls filed out, followed by Jimmy and Matt to say goodbye to them. I started to follow but was stopped when a large muscular arm grabbed my hand. I quickly pulled away.

“Don’t be like that.” Brian snapped.

“Go find someone else to baby you.” I spat out. I was furious. I tried walking away again but Brian grabbed my arm once again.

“I’m trying to talk to you, Mae.” He pulled me close to him and placed a hand on my face. I looked at Brian into his eyes but did not say a thing to him.

“I thought you wanted to stay home tonight, with me?” He asked.

“You’re a big boy. You can take care of yourself.” Brian let go and rolled his eyes.

“Go be a bitch then Mae.” I cut Brian off.

“I’m not being the bitch Brian. Like you said, you’re not dying so why should I put my life on hold for you? I’m going out with the girls. I’m not going out to whore myself out, nor am I going out to stay away from you.” Brian didn’t want anything to do with it anymore.

“Right, yea fucking right. You won’t leave my side and the second I say something you want nothing to do with me.” Brian walked away and sat back down on the couch.

“When you figure out what you want Brian, let me know. I’m not playing your little game.” I said. I was on the verge of tears. I held it together though. I was stubborn and would hold my guard. I heard a honk outside. Jimmy and Matt walked back in. They felt the tension in the room.

“You’re friends are waiting for you,” Brian sourly said.

I was going to get hammered tonight.