Operator
"What are you wearing?"
DISCLAIMER; Don't know, don't sue.
© jeph.
DISCLAIMER; Don't know, don't sue.
© jeph.
-
001
‘Hey, aren’t you that guy who sexed me up on the phone?’ -
002
“How can a phone-sex line have trouble with finances?” -
003
“So… no hanky panky shit?” -
004
“I’ve had a few shots of Jay Dee... what of it?” -
005
“That’s what mothers are for!” -
006
“My brother heard me masturbating last night.” -
007
“I never got the idea of fisting. It’s like, how can you fit your whole hand inside of you? It’s like trying to stick a watermelon or something into your sink drain. It's just ***in’ impossible.” -
008
I can almost imagine him clapping his hands in enjoyment. -
009
For all he knows, I could be a two tall midget with a hair problem, making me look like a werewolf child with an attitude because let’s face it, what midget doesn’t. -
010
It’s really starting to put a damper on my damn pessimistic parade. -
011
I start jumping around my apartment and blasting some crappy pop music on the radio up to thirty until I hear the ‘thwump-thwump’ noises of a broom being rapped up against the ceiling to tell me to shut up or die.