I don't connect properly with people so i don't really have friends... the closest thing i have to a best friend really has no idea how deep my dark side goes...
Every single year at around this sort of time I feel so... pointless, and like I'm such a waste of space, and everything would carry on just fine without me. This is the first year I've really, truly had people to reach out to.
I don't like any of my "close" friends. They truly don't know anything about me and all they ever talk about are themselves. I can listen, but sometimes I wanna talk, too.
I often dream of dropping out of school and joining the circus as a tight-rope walker or becoming a free-lance writer If I didn't have to go to college (parents), I wouldn't.
I remember every mistake I've made and they still haunt me, no matter how small and petty they may be. I can't seem to forget them and leave them in the past.
I over analyze everything I say and kick myself later for what wasn't said.
I can't seem to do anything right except fuck things up.
I liked myself better when I was younger.
I'm scared to death to let anyone close to me. Yeah, I have friends but I just have fun with them. I never really tell them how I'm feeling. Maybe if we all cared a little more they'd realize I'm not as heartless as I put out to be.
I hate New Jersey so much but I'm scared as hell to leave.
I only like a guy until I think he has some interest in me… then I convince myself that I don’t like him anymore until I’m sure he doesn’t like me anymore.
I find myself absolutely disgusting to look at. And it really pisses me off when people tell me I’m not fat, and that I’m pretty. I know I’m not, there’s no need to lie to me.
I resent my best friend because she’s better then me at everything. I just wish I could be better at something she loves and wants to be the best at, just so she knows how I feel all the time.
I think I’m pathetic and no one will ever love me.
The thought of going out into the world next year and making a life for myself terrifies me.
I’m in grade 12 and I still am absolutely terrible at spelling… and it’s one of the most embarrassing things ever.