How To Get Fired... ABC Style

Lick your boss's and co-workers's faces and whisper "Mhm girl/boy you salty."

Mail your boss an e-mail describing how you would kill them on accident.

Nail your coworkers to a wooden board and invite the building to the ritual of their sacrifice to the gods of mondays

Offer all the computers in your department to the 'gods' like in Aztec rituals and stuff.

Pugs! Let your group of pugs loose in your bosses office.

Queen. Drag Queens. Hire a lot of drag queens to preform in your office.

Ride a motor scooter down the hall yelling, "Give me a promotion or I am going to run you down!"

Sumo wrestlers. Replace all the chairs in the building with sumo wrestlers, make sure your bosses' sumo is extra squishy.

Trap all of your co-workers in a room together and lock the door so they can't get out.

Use superglue on your co-workers' and bosses keyboards, flip them over and press them against their desks. Put superglue on the bottom of the keyboards and the sides so all attempts to remove them will be extremely tedious.

Violate your bosses personal space every time you get a chance. This could be hugging him or tickling him or just "surprise sex"

Wear nothing to work.

X-Rays. Bring some in and hang them on the wall and pretend you're on Grey's Anatomy and mumble off about medical mumbo jumbo.

Yell "Orgy Time!" in the middle of an important meeting.

Zip lock bags can be used as incriminating evidence when containing a select few plants. Place them around your workplace and call the police for a drugs bust.

Advise your boss that you won't be coming in for your shift as you found a way to travel through time and you're going to go right ahead and travel to get next month's wages.

Bees. Release bees into your boss's office.

Concentrate all of your energy on finding out your boss's most deep and dark secret. When you find this out, post large card signs everywhere that exhibit this secret for all to see.

Decorate your work place with animal viscera.

Eat your co-worker's lunch.