Teen Parents?

  • piecesofmydreams

    piecesofmydreams (100)

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    I just read through this thread and I think people who look down on teen parents need to meet you guys. I swear, the way you talk about your babies has me grinning so badly- the amount of love and dedication you all have is incredible.

    I wish you all the best with your beautiful children. In Love
    July 7th, 2011 at 12:18pm
  • The Rumor

    The Rumor (365)

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    ^ Thank you. I don't know about everyone else but that really means a lot to me. Arms
    July 10th, 2011 at 11:08pm
  • Cereal Killer

    Cereal Killer (100)

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    Are there any fathers/soon-to-be-fathers on Mibba? My ex girlfriend is fifteen weeks pregnant. Would any of you mothers have any advice to give to a soon to be teen father?
    July 15th, 2011 at 12:11pm
  • The Rumor

    The Rumor (365)

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    ^ Try not to get frustrated with her. She's going to have a shitload of hormones and a whole load of new things to get used to (being pregnant is like having a whole new body, sometimes). She'll get frustrated at you but don't leave because trust is a hugely important thing.

    Also, when the baby is there, realise that having a baby is a massive job. Imagine having to be at work in a high-stress (albeit very rewarding) job 24 hours a day, seven days a week. That's what it's like.

    Most of all, enjoy your baby!! You only get one chance. :]

    Congratulations!! :D You're always welcome in the thread. :]
    July 15th, 2011 at 10:48pm
  • Cereal Killer

    Cereal Killer (100)

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    I have been hanging around and talking to her more since she told me about it, I'm trying my best to be supportive XD I'm excited but very nervous.

    How does the custody thing work out if you're not married and not living together? Do you have to get anything in writing, and do the mother and father both automatically get custody rights if they're not married, or just the mother? I'm not saying she wouldn't want me to or anything, just wondering about potential red tape. She's eighteen and I will be soon, if that plays any part in the situation.
    July 15th, 2011 at 11:45pm
  • The Rumor

    The Rumor (365)

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    The most important thing you need to do is be sure to get your name on the birth certificate.

    In Britain: Age doesn't play a part. If you're married, both parents automatically get parental responsibility. If not, the father only gets responsibility (rights) if his name is on the birth certificate. For this to happen, he has to be present when the birth certificate is made. If this doesn't happen the he'd have to contest in court at a later date and they'd probably make him pay for DNA tests on top of his legal fees.

    As far as custody goes. If both parents have responsibility but are not together, it is almost always the case that a baby lives with the mother for the majority of the time and then the father has the rest (say, every other weekend and Wednesdays, or every weekend. Whatever you work out between you). If you have an arrangement between you, it can be more flexible but there is nothing official saying that she has to give you the child then or else. If you get something on paper then you're both legally committed to that arrangement.

    In the UK, parental responsibility includes the right to make decisions about the child's religion, education and medical issues and to see the child, along with the responsibility to pay child support.

    ***

    I had a look at how it is in Kentucky and it's pretty much the same.

    In the states, custody is divided into two categories. Legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody is having parental rights (what we call parental responsibility), physical custody is having the child under your care.

    You have legal custody once you are on the birth certificate. The mother will sometimes have full physical custody but you will always have visitation rights (the right to see your baby). As the baby gets older custody can be shared more evenly (tip: it's super important to stay on your ex's good side because she will fight a lot harder against shared custody if she has a problem with you/doesn't trust you with the baby).

    The only time you wouldn't get legal custody if you were unfit (this has to be something extreme like being a drug addict or putting the child in danger of abuse).

    Once you've got legal custody by being on the birth certificate, you've jumped the biggest hurdle. After that, you can sort out between yourselves how much time you each get with the baby, when and how you divide the costs (e.g. child support payments). If one or both of you has a problem with the arrangements, you can go to court. This starts with a mediation, where you both sit down with a court appointed person who will help you discuss what you both want. If you agree to an arrangement here, it'll be put down on paper, become official and that's that. If you can't agree then you end up in family court where the judge will decide.

    These links are really good: Right of a Teenage Father and Father's Rights Laws in Kentucky.
    July 17th, 2011 at 01:14am
  • Cereal Killer

    Cereal Killer (100)

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    Ah, thank you very much Smile So far so good on staying on her good side, and certainly nothing I can think of that might make me unfit to get custody. She says she has no problem with me seeing the baby a few times a week, so hopefully she won't change her mind and some of the visitation drama can be avoided. I'm able and more than willing to pay child support also so I'm glad that that's something that we can work out ourselves.
    July 17th, 2011 at 02:47am
  • The Rumor

    The Rumor (365)

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    Yeah, that sounds really good. Aww, I'm so excited for you! :D
    July 19th, 2011 at 11:08pm
  • Cereal Killer

    Cereal Killer (100)

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    Thank you Cute I'm very excited because in a few weeks we should find out if it's a boy or a girl.
    July 29th, 2011 at 07:20am
  • JustKillParadise

    JustKillParadise (100)

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    I'm 17, I have three children... don't worry, only one is actually mine. The other two are my late best friend's identical twin boys. My adoptive mom technically is their adoptive mom, but in a year, when I turn 18, I'll legally adopt them. My little girl is Micah Jade (My-Kah Jay'd). She just turned three. The twins are Carter Alistair and Cole Aidan (Car-ter Al-eh-stair and Kohl Ay-den. They are about 16 months. I'm also a guy by the way.

    ~Taylor
    August 6th, 2011 at 06:11am
  • JustKillParadise

    JustKillParadise (100)

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    Cereal Killer:
    Are there any fathers/soon-to-be-fathers on Mibba? My ex girlfriend is fifteen weeks pregnant. Would any of you mothers have any advice to give to a soon to be teen father?
    I'm a single seventeen year old dad of three kids (only one's mine and the other two are twins I take care of and will adopt when I turn eighteen). I can't help you really though because it seems we are in different situations. My baby mama never wanted our daughter and she gave me full legal rights over her the day she was born. I never had to try and share costody.
    August 6th, 2011 at 06:17am
  • Antagonist

    Antagonist (200)

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    I'm a proud mom of a 5 and a half month old named Danny. He's the best thing that's ever came into my life...he has seriously saved my life. Before he was born I hated myself and was growing to hate everything and everyone around me, because I was severely depressed, but after he was born I knew I had to be there for him, and just how happy little things make him and how full of wonder he is maes me happy. He's my angel.
    August 22nd, 2011 at 01:34am
  • Cereal Killer

    Cereal Killer (100)

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    In four and a half months I'm gonna have a baby girl Mr. Green
    August 25th, 2011 at 01:12am
  • Antagonist

    Antagonist (200)

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    Cereal Killer:
    In four and a half months I'm gonna have a baby girl Mr. Green
    Congrats!!! Clap
    August 25th, 2011 at 12:25pm
  • The Rumor

    The Rumor (365)

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    Cereal Killer:
    In four and a half months I'm gonna have a baby girl Mr. Green
    Awww, congratulations!
    August 25th, 2011 at 11:39pm
  • Cereal Killer

    Cereal Killer (100)

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    Thank you both very much Cute and from the ultrasound she looks very healthy. Very excited!
    August 26th, 2011 at 01:16am
  • Rango

    Rango (100)

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    ^You make me smile so hard. Just throwing that out there. tehe

    I have a (nearly) 2 year old little boy. His name is Nolan Michael. My boyfriend and I decided that if it was a girl, I would have chosen the name, and when it was a boy, he got to choose the name. It all worked out, and I love the name he picked.

    I found out I was pregnant a few months before I turned 16, and it was hard. Really hard. There was this huge fiasco with my parents, and his parents, and I found out that it's really possible to fall to your knees with grief.

    There was times I thought I lost the baby, and when I did end up having him he was premature by 2 months (after the hospital stopping the labor for nearly a month.)

    I wouldn't change it for the world. <3
    October 18th, 2011 at 01:18pm
  • Cereal Killer

    Cereal Killer (100)

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    I'm a daddy Mr. Green I have a healthy eight pound six ounce (big baby! XD) daughter. I'm so happy. Lots of baby mama drama though unfortunately. But nonetheless I'm too happy for words right now!
    December 10th, 2011 at 11:04pm
  • The Rumor

    The Rumor (365)

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    ^ Naww! That's so sweet, congratulations! Noah was the same size but girls are normally even smaller, so that's really big. xD Hope everything works out for you guys and enjoy her! :D In Love
    December 11th, 2011 at 12:17am
  • cannibal.

    cannibal. (145)

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    I've commented in here before but I am again. My sister in law may be pregnant with her second child. I have no problem with teen parents but I'm worried. She messed enough with her first child. If she is pregnant and messes up again she's going to lose them both.
    December 11th, 2011 at 05:51pm