Dirty Little Secret [CLOSED]

Brian sat on the bed, struck dumb by Zacky's outburst. His brain engaged a few seconds later and he wanted to hit himself for being so stupid. "Goddammit!" Grabbing his jacket, he stormed out of the door after his friend. He walked up the hallway, back down it, took the elevator to every single floor but he couldn't find the other anywhere. Pulling his phone out, he typed out a message to Zacky, hoping the rhythm would answer him.

I'm sorry Zee, please let me explain? There's a reason I've been acting like a douche bag.

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky had decided to take the stairs knowing that Brian wouldn't think to check if he had bothered to go after him. He just couldn't be around the lead right now. The more he thought about it, the more it bothered him. Brian would say one thing but his actions would say something else. One minute he was saying how much he liked him and how he wanted to be with him, but the next he was avoiding him and wanting nothing to do with the rhythm guitarist. Had he lied in the note where he said it wasn't a joke? Was this all some sort of sick and twisted game Brian was playing to fuck with his feelings? Or had the others somehow found out about his bisexuality and been betting to see how long it would take the brown eyed boy to get him to sleep with him or something?

He went to check his phone, but then realized he must have left it in the room. Sighing to himself he walked outside for a little while and lit up a cigarette. He blew the smoke out into the air as he tried to calm his nerves. He knew he had to go back eventually, but maybe he could just wait it out or stay with Matt the rest of the night. As far as he could tell, Matt knew nothing but knew he wouldn't question it. If he went to Jimmy, he'd also probably have to deal with a crabby Johnny and Jimmy asking a lot of questions.

Knocking on the door to Matt's room, he looked around making sure Brian wasn't still looking for him. When there was no answer he turned to reluctantly return to his room. Just then the door opened causing him to turn back around and notice Matt standing in his boxers.

"Zack? What's going on?" he questioned with a confused expression.

"Is it okay if I stay with you tonight?"

@ rachthebat.

Feeling dejected and sad, Brian finished the cigarette he had been smoking and wandered back to his room, shoulders slumped. Zacky hadn't replied to his text, nor the numerous missed calls and voice mails he'd left either. Not really wanting any company, he stayed in the room he was sharing and attacked the mini bar, choosing to drown his sorrows instead of asking one of the others if they'd seen Zacky at all.

After downing numerous miniature bottles of any kind of liquor he could find, he slumped back onto the bed and pulled his phone from his pocket, his booze addled brain thinking it was a good idea for him to pour out all of his feelings into a text message. If Zacky refused to speak to him after that, then he didn't see any other way of them getting passed it.

Zack, I'm sorry for acting like such a dick to you these past couple days, it has nothing to do with the way I feel about you at all. Well, maybe a little but, I'll just come out with it. Every time you're near me, illustrious thoughts enter my brain and I can't help but think of how much I wanna kiss you, and other stuff.. but whenever I'm in close proximity to you, I get..flustered and I don't know how to handle it yet. I've been feeling this way about you for so long now, I honestly think I might explode soon. I really hope you will come back and talk to me and eventually, forgive me? I'm sorry for getting drunk earlier too, but I ,meant every word I said.. Love Brian xx

Throwing his phone onto the bed next to him, he sighed softly and decided to drink until he passed out.

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

"Zacky wake up." he felt Matt shaking him slightly trying to wake him up.

"Five more minutes..." he groaned and pulled the pillow over his head trying to block out the sunlight. A pout met his lips when he felt the singer lift the pillow off of him and pulled it away.

"We have to head out soon. You have to go and wake up Brian and-"

"I don't want to." Zacky said pulling his knees up to his chest as he sat on the bed. He wasn't ready to face the guitarist yet after what happened last night. He still felt hurt by his actions.

"What's been going on between you two lately? Did you guys fight or something?" Matt questioned as he sat beside Zacky on the bed.

"Something like that." Zacky looked down at his hands and bit at his snakebites nervously. He wanted to tell Matt everything, but he was still afraid of how the hazel eyed boy would react. He didn't want to risk Matt hating him or being creeped out by it. Especially if he found out that Zacky used to have a bit of a crush on him. There were times he was afraid Matt had found out but if he had, Matt never spoke about it. Now with things between him and Brian, part of him was afraid that this really was some sort of joke and that the lead was just messing with him. He wasn't sure how he would handle something like that.

"Zacky, I can tell you want to say something. You don't have to say anything right now if you don't want to, but just know that I'll always be here for you okay? If you think you guys can get through whatever it is that caused you to fight, then that's great. But if he's being an ass and continues to act like one towards you, he'll have to deal with me." Matt said pulling the smaller boy into a hug. Zacky smiled and hugged him back feeling thankful that Matt was just as protective over him as he was when they were kids.

Zacky had reluctantly returned to the room he was supposed to be staying in with Brian. He found his phone on the dresser and saw he had gotten a mass amount of texts from Brian as well as voicemails. His eyes scanned the text messages from Brian. He couldn't help but feel a little bad for not sticking around and letting him explain himself. He turned a corner to go wake Brian up and saw empty bottles of alcohol around him. The thought of apologizing to him faded. Had he sent that message before or after he began drinking again? A bunch of thoughts now began racing through his mind as he shoved his phone in his pocket.

A groan was heard as Brian shifted around. He must have been waking up finally and probably with a worse hangover than before. Zacky was about to turn to leave again when he heard him speak.

"You came back."

@ rachthebat.

Brian spent most of the night tossing and turning, his alcohol addled brain trying to torture him with images of the one person who probably hated him right now. Cursing himself for getting drunk and not being able to express himself properly, he grabbed a pillow and stuck it over his head, hoping the numerous bottles of whiskey he'd drank would render him unconscious.

The door creaking open woke him up, the pounding in his head was relentless, a group of birds pecking at his brains would be less painful. Forcing himself to sit up with a groan, he stretched his arms above his head and rubbed a hand over his face, his eye balls burning with much needed sleep. "I'm sorry," he mumbled quietly, any louder and he would shreak from the noise.

"I fucked up, again, will you let me explain myself?"

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

He turned his head to look back at the guitarist. He was not in the mood for games and was still angry and hurt.

"I just came here to get my phone. I'll be out of your way so you can just-"

"Not so loud please?" Brian placed his hands over his ears as he groaned in pain.

"You should have thought about that before-"

"Zacky, I'm sorry. Can you please just let me explain?" he begged.

As much as Zacky wanted to leave, he saw how pitiful the brown eyed man looked and gave in. Sighing to himself, he sat down on one of the chairs across the room and stared at him.

"Start talking Gates."

@ rachthebat.

Rearranging his limbs into a comfortable position on his bed, Brian tried not to fidget, he felt sick with nerves. "Okay so, I'm not very good at talking about this kinda stuff, hence the notes," he chuckled. He held up a hand in protest as Zacky rolled his eyes and made to get up, obviously bored of Brian's less than funny jokes. "Okay, sorry, no more jokes." Brian blew out a long breath and cleared his throat, licking his suddenly dry lips. "There is a reason why I was avoiding you so much on stage and why I pulled a face at having to share with you and why I have generally been acting like a dick Zee, it's because...well, it's because I don't know how to act around you, knowing you know how I feel about you, I feel awkward all the time and that's nothing to do with you, it's all me. I don't know what to say to you or how to keep the really fucked up things I've been thinking, in my head. If you knew what flies through my brain on a daily basis, you would have run scared from me a long time ago." Noticing the confusion and slight fear flash through Zack's eyes, Brian shook his head and laughed. "Now I've made myself out to be some kind of psycho!" He snorted. "I'm really not, I'm sorry for emotionally vomiting on you but if I don't get this out now, I never will. Everyone thinks that Synyster Gates is quick witted with ladies falling over themselves to get to me, and I'm not gonna lie, when it comes to one night stands, I'm fine. But when it comes to matters of the heart, I get tongue tied and awkward and just seem to fuck things up. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I like you Zack, a lot. A hell of a lot actually, have done since we were kids. I was confused for a long time, hence the multitude of girls but I never once stopped liking you Zee, I just never, in a month of Sundays, thought that you would feel the same."

Running a hand through his hairspray clad hair, he sighed and laughed humourlessly. "And now I shall stop talking.."

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky stared at him in shock. He felt awkward around him now? He wasn't entirely sure what sort of 'fucked up' thoughts ran around in Brian's head, but he really hoped none of them included him being tied up in a trunk of a car somewhere.

"You don't have to feel awkward around me." he spoke finally breaking the silence that filled the room.

"But I-"

"Brian, we've been friends for years. You honestly think me finding out you like me is going to change any sort of feelings I have towards you? You should know me better than that by now. I told you in the note nothing would be awkward if I found out who you were right?"

"Well yeah but-"

"But nothing. Nothing has to change or be awkward between us. I meant that and the only way things will be awkward is if you make it awkward. I do have one question though." he said shifting a little in his seat.

"What is it?" Brian asked.

"What exactly did you mean when you said I would be running if I knew some of the fucked up things running through your head? Care to elaborate?" he questioned arching an eyebrow at him.

@ rachthebat.

"I..umm.." Brian swallowed thickly, feeling like he'd swallowed a bucket of sand, his mouth was so dry. "I don't really know where to start." Standing, he ran a hand through his sticky hair and began to pace. Stealing a quick glance to the other person in the room, he sighed and sat back down, eyes cast to the floor. "This is really embarrassing Zee and I don't want you to freak out and leave until I've finished talking, okay?" Zacky nodded his head and took a seat opposite Brian, leaning is arms onto his knees.

"So, last few years, I've been developing certain..tastes. Sexually." Blowing out a breath, Brian glanced up to see Zacky paying close attention to him, which just made him feel more embarrassed. "I guess you could say, I'm into kinky stuff, BDSM, Dom/sub. I've tried it before with girls and I really liked it but it's not really what I wanted. I want to try that stuff out with a guy, you. I understand if you're not into that sort of stuff, or it weirds you out. It's fine. I feel better now that's out in the open though."

Waiting for Zack to say something, his palms got clammier, heart rate spiking dangerously high. "Say something Zee, please."

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

He let out a sigh of relief as he listened to Brian. At least he didn't have to worry about him doing something crazy like killing him or something. He wouldn't have guessed Brian would have been into that sort of thing. Jimmy perhaps, but Brian? He had to admit, he was a bit curious about all of it. Truth be told, he wouldn't mind being dominated by Synyster Gates himself either-

"Please say something Zacky..." Brian's begging snapped him out of his thoughts causing him to look up.

"Is that all it is?" he questioned chuckling a little at the lead's shocked expression.

"W-What?"

"You're just having kinky thoughts about me?"

"Y-Yeah..." Brian replied looking away chewing on his bottom lip nervously.

"I don't really know much about all that stuff," he began noticing a slight look of disappointment forming on his face. "But you know me, I'll try anything once."he finished speaking as he smirked playfully at Brian.

@ rachthebat.

Heaving out a sigh of relief, Brian laughed to himself for getting all worked up and ran a hand through his hair. "You don't know how nervous I've been about telling you that." He'd gotten hooked into that kind of world through Jimmy, the lanky streak of piss taking him to the many clubs he frequented whenever they had time off. He'd gotten a taste of the scene and he wanted more, wanted to try it for himself.

Brian couldn't help not to notice the playful little smirk that appeared on Zacky's lips, getting his hopes up a little that maybe they could make things work after all. "You'd be willing to try?"

The slight nod of Zacky's head brought a smile onto the lead's lips, sitting up straighter in his seat. "So..where do we go from here?"

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky shrugged as he shifted a little in his chair. He wasn't sure of what would happen next. He got up from the seat and walked over to the bed to sit beside Brian.

"Well, I'm not really sure but we do have a few minutes I guess." he spoke up as he turned his gaze to meet Brian's dark eyes.

"What do you want to do?" the lead questioned. Zacky noticed his eyes move down towards his lips before looking into his eyes again.

"You never got much of a chance to kiss me before, so I guess you could try again." Zacky suggested.

@ rachthebat.

Shuffling closer, Brian tentatively placed his hand onto Zacky's knee, looking down at it like it had grown a second thumb before glancing into the glimmering green eyes of his best friend. "I'd like that very much," he murmured, moving closer and closer, his eyes darting down to the snake bitten lips he so desperately wanted to taste. Eyes fluttering closed, he he obliterated what distance was left between them and pressed his lips to Zacky's before he chickened out, a soft whimper at finally feeling the other against him. Mouths moving in tandem, they locked lips, softly, slowly, kissing each other after what felt like a lifetime of wonder. Taking the hint, Brian tilted his head to the side slightly, deepening their embrace, tongues nervously touching for the first time. Goose bumps erupted across Brian's skin, shivering as hands wandered.

A sharp knock at the door, swiftly followed by it being booted open, broke them apart, Brian licking over his lips and smiling at the other.

Stood in the doorway was Matt, arms crossed over his chest, eyes darting between his two friends as they shifted apart and took hands back. "Am I interrupting something?"

(They kissed! Wooo! Haha)

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

The two guitarists exchanged looks before looking back at Matt as he leaned against the doorframe.

"Z-Zacky and I, we were just-"

"He was just hugging me because he was relieved I didn't get kidnapped by some creepy fan or murdered, and probably glad I brought him asprin considering how much he drank last night." Zacky cut him off and made up a lie, hoping that the singer would fall for it. Matt raised an eyebrow before shaking his head and laughing a little.

"Next time maybe you won't drink as much will you? You didn't have to worry about Zacky though." he spoke.

"I didn't?" Brian asked looking at Zacky.

"Yeah, he was fine. He spent the night with me last night." Matt replied. Zacky looked down at his hands missing the looks exchanged by the two men. The green eyed boy internally cringed at how awkward that sounded but knew it was completely innocent and that nothing had happened. "We have to leave for the next city in about a half hour. When we get there, you and I have an interview Gates. Try not to wander off okay?" the singer said jokingly before exiting the room and shutting the door behind him.

@ rachthebat.

Heart pounding in his chest, Brian took deep breaths to steady his erratic breathing, face flushed. They spent the night together? Brows furrowing, he tried not to let his mind go to that place, tried to stop himself putting two and two together and coming up with ten but it was hard not to when Matt was looking at him with doe eyes.

Rolling his eyes, he pouted at Matt like a sulky child. "I'm not a child Matt."

Questions danced across his eyes, eyeing Matt suspiciously before he left the room. "You spent the night with him?"

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Wincing a little at the slight hurt in Brian's voice he turned his head back to look at him.

"It wasn't like anything you're probably thinking." Zacky said biting his lip feeling nervous all of a sudden. He shifted a little in his seat.

"Oh? Then why don't you explain what happened?"

"After I left here last night, I took a walk. I was still pissed at you for getting drunk and avoiding me, so I went to Matt's room."

"Why didn't you just go see Jimmy or something?"

"If you didn't want to talk about what happened would you want to go and talk to Jimmy knowing that he'd ask a lot of questions? Not to mention the fact that he was sharing a room with Johnny. You know how he gets if you wake him up." he replied. Brian chuckled a little and nodded his head.

"Good point. But did Matt ask anything?"

"No, I just asked if I could stay with him and he let me stay. He didn't ask questions really. He never asks questions with me really." Zacky shrugged a little.

@ rachthebat.

"Good, that's good. Not that I'm embarrassed about being with you, cause I'm not, but I don't want us to be thrust into any kind of lime light until we're both ready." Turning to look at Zacky properly, Brian fiddled with the chain around his neck before glancing up at his face. "Why don't we start again, from the beginning. I'd really like to take you out on a date."

A flush of colour heated Brian's face as he prepared to ask another question, hoping Zack wouldn't think he was being too forward. "Zee?" The smaller man looked up from his lap, green eyes sparkling like usual. "Can I kiss you again?"

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky smiled a little at the sight of his best friend suddenly turning shy before his eyes. It wasn't very often he saw any of the guys like this especially Brian. Brian always seemed so sure of himself and that was something he had always admired about him.

"Zee? Please say someth-" Brian was cut off by Zacky pressing his lips against his own. The smaller man pulled away and smiled.

"Of course we can go on a date if you really want to." Zacky replied as his smile grew when he saw Brian's eyes light up.

"Maybe after the show?"

"Sure why not?"
--

"Zacky what the hell are you wearing?" Johnny asked as he arched an eyebrow at the guitarist.

"What? I felt like dressing up for tonight's show." Zacky shrugged.

"Even with a bow tie? Really?"

"There is nothing wrong with bow ties man. Bow ties are cool." he replied as he checked out his reflection in the mirror. He turned around when he heard the door open and watched the others enter the room.

"We're on in ten guys," Matt spoke before looking over at Zacky. "Nice bow tie."

"Thanks." Zacky smirked before sticking his tongue out at the bassist.

"You're okay with him going on stage like that?" Johnny questioned the others pointing at the rhythm guitarist. Brian and Jimmy just shrugged.

"As long as he's not going out there naked, I really don't care."

@ rachthebat.

Brian's lips still tingled, the kiss playing over and over in his head like a broken record. Shaking himself of his thoughts, he glanced over to watch Zacky as he got up onto the high riser, playing the intro to Unholy Confessions with ease. He felt so proud of him, watching him command the stage with such presence. And he looked so damn cute in his little bow tie. Walking over to the centre of the stage, he gave the rhythm a shy smile as they headed into their duel, butterflies swarming in his stomach as Zacky smirked and rubbed up against him. Such torture!

The show was a success, just like the ones before and surely the ones after. Handing his guitar over to the tech at the side of the stage, Brian grabbed Zacky's hand and pulled him into the narrow corridor. "Wanna get a shower then head on out?" He couldn't wait to show Zacky what he had planned.

(I love the Doctor Who reference! ^_^)

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

The show was successful yet again and for once, Zacky felt proud of how everything turned out. Brian was also back to acting like himself on the stage. As the show ended Brian pulled him down the hall and he couldn't help but feel nervous.

"Shower? Well yeah I was planning on taking one but did you mean-"

"Hey Gates! Matt's looking for you! He says he needs to talk to you about something." Johnny said jogging over to them. Brian groaned a little which made Zacky laugh, as it reminded him of a child who had to wait to open presents on Christmas morning.

"Can't I do it later?"

"Go ahead Bri, I'll go take a shower and then I'll wait for you to get back." Zacky smiled at the taller boy.

@ rachthebat.