Love Like War

  • I updated my chapter
    January 30th, 2014 at 07:36pm
  • @ EmzyStilinski @ castiel's vessel
    Great! I'll get right onto mine, but I'm really busy this week. So I think it'll take like two weeks for me to finish my chapter. i also have to do some research before doing this chapter. I'm still choosing which art pieces to have Drew go all out on at the museum.
    January 31st, 2014 at 06:34am
  • @ king in the north
    Sounds good. I understand you have to be historical. Take your time. All I have to do is know about guns and look good doing it lol
    January 31st, 2014 at 02:21pm
  • @ castiel's vessel @ EmzyStilinski
    Hey guys, I am so very sorry for not updating. I literally have no time. I think I'll finish the chapter this weekend.
    February 12th, 2014 at 05:46am
  • @ king in the north
    No worries take your time
    February 12th, 2014 at 02:14pm
  • @ castiel's vessel @ EmzyStilinski
    Alright guys, I'm done with the chapter! It's literally 4 AM in the morning and I probably should be sleeping now but i was so motivated to get it done that I just didn't give a damn.

    One thing, I decided to stray a bit away from actual historical artifact because there was this one pigeon blood necklace mentioned in an episode of the TV show White Collar that I found interesting. it was given a cool backstory and all, and I thought it was perfect for this chapter! So please correct me for whatever mistakes or whatever things you believe need changing. I literally wrote this at midnight so my brain is totally fried. I'm exhausted and I'm probably not thinking straight so...

    --- Chapter Start ---

    On a typical Wednesday morning, Drew found himself viewing a piece of Chinese artifact over a magnifying glass in his hand. The moderately crafted jade pot was sent over from the National Museum of Taiwan just three months ago and he did not find time to examine the jade until today. His mouth fell agape as he stared at the Neolithic artifact in awe.

    “10,000 B.C.” He muttered to himself as he wrote the object’s profile in his hefty notebook.

    After their briefing of the Guillotine case, Wilson let both AK and Drew off to spend their own leisure time until the CIA director sorted out their international agreement with the French diplomat of international relations. Upon his freedom, Drew did not hesitate to drive up to the Artificial Museum of Los Angeles with his black leather satchel and notebook in tow to examine this new gem.

    He took note of the quality of the jade as well as note its area of imperfections, brown eyes squinting to get a better view of the details. Ever since he got here, the only sound from the vacated museum was background chatters between the receptionist and a waiting tour guide, and the scribbling of his pointed pen. However, loud chatter of a crowd disrupted the silence.

    Drew looked away from his work and turned to the source of the noise. His eyebrows perked up in interest as he eyed the woman leading a group of about twenty elementary school students. Dressed in a tight-fitted white blouse and black dress pants, the young woman immediately captivated the historian. From a distance he can only tell that she has long, wavy black hair and a gorgeous smile as she flashed them at the receptionist behind the front counter.

    He observed the group of children, noticing that most of them are paired off. The hottie is probably a teacher, Drew thought to himself.

    “Hot for teacher.” He chuckled lamely to himself at the Van Halen reference.

    The tour guide finally led the large group toward the contents of this glorious museum, allowing Drew a better look at the hot teacher. She, upon noticing eyes on her, looked up and met his gaze. He looked away quickly, nearly dropping his notebook and pen as he clumsily shifted his body away from her direction. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was some creepy gawker.

    Drew dropped his notebook and magnifying glass into his leather satchel, casually zipping it up afterward. He looked back up to give the jade one last look before turning away from it.

    “We shall meet again!” He said ruefully to the artifact.

    Placing his pointed pen above his left ear, Drew made the decision to listen in on the tour going on a few feet from him. It is a common occurrence for him to see elementary school kids around here, but not once had they failed to tear the place apart after boredom ensured.

    With an amused grin on his face, he decided to shake things up a bit and make history interesting.

    “This music box belonged to Czarina Alexandra of Russia and was stolen by the Nazis during their infamous plunder during World War II.” He heard the tour guide tell the children.

    Drew slowly made his way over to the group and the closer he got, the more apparent it is to him that the kids are already zoning out on the execution of the guide’s facts. He glanced at the attractive woman behind the group; she looks worried about the attention span of her students.

    “I am going to change that.” He muttered to himself.

    When he made it to the tour group, they are all facing the infamous pigeon blood necklace from Burma. He lingered by the group and observed the tour guide casually as she began her explanation on the artifact.

    “This is the pigeon blood necklace. Yes, it is made with pigeon blood. The Burmese people killed a bunch of pigeons and made them into valuable stone.”

    The explanation barely grabbed the attention of the kids in this group, meaning that the tour guide failed to interest them. Drew scoffed loudly at that and in the process, grabbed the attention of the whole group, tour guide included.

    The woman, looking to be in her mid thirties, glanced at the brunette historian expectantly. She folded both her arms across her chest and pursed her lips at him. Mumbles and laughter filled the exhibit as some of the kids pointed at Drew in fascination.

    “Excuse me, do you find any of this funny?” The tour guide asked, clearly annoyed by his interruption.

    Drew emerged from the crowd of students and approached the woman. He beamed at the woman as he nodded profusely.

    “I find it funny that you referred to the people of Burma as the Burmese people; they preferred to be called the Myanmar people. The name represents their sovereignty.” He explained as he fell in eye contact with the teacher.

    A crooked smile emerged on her face as she listened in on his explanation. I am on the right track, Drew told himself and turned back to the tour guide. The older woman shifted uncomfortably in her position but she tried to stand her ground.

    “And just who are you?” She asked with an assertive edge to her voice.

    Smirking, Drew held out a hand for her to take.

    “Andrew Radetzsky, historian for the LA Museum and various others in international nations like France, Austria, and the Czech Republic.”

    Drew took the time to read the nametag off of the tour guide. Roberta.

    “Thank you very much, Roberta, but I would like to give a little bit of my input on this one.”

    Roberta opened her mouth in protest but Drew made sure to start his explanation before he loses his opportunity to do it.

    “So this pigeon blood necklace is very interesting because of its beauty. This little gem has been in the maharajah’s private collection for a couple of decades. Maharajah means great king. The great king of maharajah had this beautiful necklace. It was his most favorite piece, and very expensive too!” He grinned at the children pleasantly, hoping to captivate them.

    All he got was bored glances back at him. He has not completed his mission yet.

    “For all the lovers of fairy tale endings…”

    Several of the girls in the front row perked up.

    “There was a servant girl who was madly in love with the maharajah and all in truth, he loved her too! She was very beautiful and he took notice to her undeniable beauty.” Drew side glanced at the equally beautiful teacher.

    She smiled at him in encouragement.

    “Because he thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world, he gave her his most valued pigeon necklace. He thought that the most beautiful woman in the world deserved the most beautiful artifact in the world. She was very happy when she received it. But can anyone tell me who didn’t like what the maharajah did?” Drew asked as his eyes scanned the crowd.

    A few eager hands shot up as a response and Drew took the moment to applaud himself for managing to grab their attention. He spotted a small, freckled boy from the second row and chose him.

    “What is your name?” Drew asked kindly.

    “Timmy!” He exclaimed enthusiastically.

    “And what is your answer, Timmy?”

    “The king’s wife!”

    Drew laughed, nodding in agreement!

    “You are brilliant, Timmy! The queen did not like it very much! She told the servant girl that she would kill her if she did not give up the pigeon blood necklace and her love for the maharajah. And do you guys know what she did?”

    It was a rhetorical question. Drew did not wait for any hands to go up, he went straight for it.

    “She took the necklace and ran away! And even years after she did, she kept the necklace. If she sold it, she would get a lot of money. She would be rich. But she did not sell it because it was the only thing she had left of the man she loved. And because the necklace was so beautiful, she’d rather be poor than hand it over to someone else!”

    Drew opened his mouth to say more but Roberta quickly cut in and made drastic actions to direct the kids to the next exhibit, which is the Neolithic jade pot he had been observing. She started leading the group away from the pigeon blood exhibit, desperate to get the kids away from this crazy historian.

    Some kids smiled and giggled at him in fascination as they walked past him. Drew nodded at them with equally compelling smiles, watching as they walked off.

    “That was really interesting!”

    He turned to the woman, feeling his heart skip rapidly as he took in her beauty. Her mesmerizing hazel eyes gave him a once over and it made him even more nervous. He should have dressed in something from AK’s closet instead of his own collection of geeky dress shirts. She is going to think that he is a total dweeb.

    She grinned at him as she extended out a hand for him to shake. He took her hand and internally sighed in relief when he realized that they aren’t at all sweaty.

    “I’m Victoria Winborn, but call me Vicky!”

    “And I’m…”

    “Andrew, you just said.” She chuckled.

    Drew scratched at the back of his messy brown head.

    “Please don’t call me Andrew, only my mom does!”

    Vicky’s beautiful hazel eyes brightened up at his embarrassment, clearly amused and captivated by the flustered historian in front of her.

    “Call me Drew.”

    She laughed again.

    “Then why’d you introduce yourself as Andrew, silly?”

    “I thought I’d be taken more seriously by the tour guide if I was introduced by my full name.”

    He ran a hand through his brown locks because he did not know what else to do with them. This gorgeous woman is talking to him, and not actually repelled by his nervous banter with her. He cannot bring himself to believe that it is happening right now.

    “Speaking of… Was that story about the maharajah and his servant girl true?” Her eyes twinkled in interest as she asked.

    Drew snickered as a response.

    “Most of the story was a slight fabrication for the children.” He said humorously and added, “Actually, the servant girl had sex with the maharajah and when the queen caught them, she snatched the pigeon blood necklace and just totally peaced out.”

    Vicky chuckled at the story, shaking her head at him.

    “I see why you had to fabricate a story!”

    “Yeah, and what better way to practice my story-telling skills right?” He beamed.

    The dark haired woman nodded at him as her eyes diverted away from him.

    “Hey listen, it was nice of you to lighten up the atmosphere before, but I have to… I have to make sure they don’t burn this museum down because I can tell how much you value this place so…”

    She turned from him and started to make her way back to the tour group. Drew decided to step out of his comfort zone, making a last minute decision to go through with it.

    “Hey Vicky?”

    “Hmm?”

    “Can I have your number?”

    She stared at him and bit her lips.

    “Well…”

    “I mean, in case you need someone to come in and talk to your kids, or um… if you are interested in me. Oh god, I’m so sorry. You’re probably dating someone because you are definitely a ten and drop dead gorgeous and I’m just a…”

    “310-672-8808.” Vicky interrupted with a sly smile on her face.

    Drew took out his phone and quickly typed that number into his phone. By the time he was done, Vicky was already gone.

    “Damn, she’s definitely a ten!”
    February 16th, 2014 at 10:14am
  • @ king in the north
    OMG I think I might have died. I think nervous dweeby Drew is great
    February 16th, 2014 at 03:22pm
  • @ EmzyStilinski
    I think it will be epic if we see the contrast between smooth, easy going AK and rambling babbling Drew. But yeah, this is my first time writing a character like this so I gotta make it work!
    February 16th, 2014 at 07:51pm
  • @ king in the north
    He's amazing and I love him. Yep, there is a pretty big contrast
    February 16th, 2014 at 07:54pm
  • @ king in the north
    I love the chapter!

    Picked up these things...

    “10,000 B.C.” He muttered to himself as he... - for all dialogue that continues with a tag like this does, there should be a comma before the closing speech mark and the "he" should be in lowercase. The same goes for several of your dialogue lines.

    "Drew slowly made his way over to the group and the closer he got, the more apparent it is to him that the kids are already zoning out on the execution of the guide’s facts" - as you've been writing in past tense, it should be "the most apparent it was to him that the kids were already zoning out..."

    "When he made it to the tour group, they are all facing the infamous pigeon blood necklace from Burma." - same goes for here, it should be "there were all facing..." for the tense to stay the same.

    This is more of a personal thing, but when characters introduce themselves wholly it just sounds wrong to me as I've never met someone who did that in real life. Drew's introduction was fine, but when Vicky does hers, I guess I think it'd be more her if she just said "I'm Vicky" because she doesn't go by Victoria so she wouldn't introduce herself by that name, although I guess as she's a teacher it could work better if you had her say "I'm Miss Winborn, but you can call me Vicky" y'know?

    Other than that, I absolutely loved their encounter! Drew was so great and I think you got Vicky spot on.
    February 17th, 2014 at 12:31am
  • I posted the chapter with my corrections

    @ EmzyStilinski
    Yeah! Awwh thanks! But I am all up for their bromance

    @ castiel's vessel
    Yeah past tense and present tense has always been an issue, but I've been trying my best to work on them so thanks for the heads up!

    And sorry about that Victoria introduction part, Idk why I did that... But yeah, I made the corrections and posted the chapter! Thank you so much for your help!

    Anyways, so what is going to happen in the next coming chapters? With Vicky/AK or whatever is coming up.
    February 17th, 2014 at 01:01am
  • Well I figure in my chapter that AK and Vicky will meet and stuff. What is planned for Vicky's chapter
    March 5th, 2014 at 06:53am
  • @ EmzyStilinski
    I was going in the direction of a first meet between the two, and then your chapter could be a few days after with the whole ex situation. It'd make more sense than her using him to not appear alone to her ex on the very first day they met. Unless that messes up your chapter? I can change mine.
    March 5th, 2014 at 08:44pm
  • @ castiel's vessel
    Nope that sounds good. I like it
    March 5th, 2014 at 08:48pm
  • Just want to give an update, as I feel like such a sucky co-author right now. I have four pieces of coursework I have to draft by next week which I am focusing all my energy on, however I'm only hoping to finish one before I can focus on completing my chapter for this. Fingers crossed that it'll be done by Friday, especially as I finish sixth form at 12:25 on that day which leaves me an extra afternoon of writing instead of work.

    I do apologise for how long it's taken me to do this chapter and I honestly don't plan on taking this time again.
    March 11th, 2014 at 11:54pm
  • @ castiel's vessel
    You are totally fine. Focus on school and stuff. Take your time!
    March 13th, 2014 at 12:22am
  • @ EmzyStilinski
    @ king in the north

    My chapter! If you don't like the encounter with AK, I can rewrite it!
    Quote
    Vicky was sat with a glass of wine and a bundle of messy papers when Chloe came home from the shop. She'd set a task for her class when they had gotten back from the museum yesterday, making them have to recall what they had seen and heard during the guide around the place. Mostly, she'd set the work to determine who out of the class was actually paying attention and who spent the time messing around with their friends. Truthfully she should have looked at the worksheet last night but by the time nine o'clock had come around, their electricity was out and they'd had to call on their neighbour to check it out as he was an electrician.

    "Hey," Chloe greeted, coming into the room and dumping the bag on the table in front of Vicky. "Have you done it yet?"

    She shook her head. "No."

    "Why not?"

    Reaching out for the bag, Vicky rifled through it and pulled out the chicken sandwich. "I've been busy," she replied, nodding to the pile of worksheet she'd dumped next to her.

    Chloe scoffed. "Bull," she said, perching on the edge of the sofa. "Even I could mark these sheet in ten minutes."

    "I never said I wouldn't reply to him, it's just...he texted me on the same day I gave him my number. Even I would wait a day to do that."

    "What's so wrong with that? Please, if that were me I'd have met him and fucked him by now if he's as nice as you described." Vicky shoved her sister away and took a bite of her sandwich. The guy from the museum was definitely nice to look at, but since breaking up with her ex over two years ago she hadn't been interested in having a relationship with anyone, and meeting this guy definitely did not change that.

    With a mouthful of food, Vicky replied, "It's just the fact that he was nice, sweet and interesting. The last time I found that in a guy, I was thirteen and lost my virginity in his linen cupboard."

    Chloe shrugged. "At least you can't lose that this time."

    For a moment she contemplated dumping the rest of the wine over her sister but then resolved that she needed it more and drained the glass. "Well, you're right about that," she agreed. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to respond to him but I don't know what I'd say. Is it just 'oh, hey, I would love to go to dinner or something with you but I'm really not looking to make this anything more than just a few nice dates with you,' or is it 'sorry you have the wrong number?'"

    "Well, if you don't want him, give him my number and I'll test him out for you," Chloe said before standing up from the sofa and going to leave the room.

    "Get me another bottle?" Vicky asked, holding out her glass.

    Chloe nodded at the glass. "You just finished it."

    With a sigh, Vicky put it back on the table and finished up her sandwich before getting up, putting some shoes and calling out to her sister that she would be back in a minute as she slammed the door shut behind her. Every week she ended up having to leave the house and go to the nearest shop for a bottle of wine, and from the frequency of her visits, the boy behind the till knew all too well what she would buy. How he was even able to sell alcohol was a mystery to her because he didn't look a day past eighteen.

    The shop had a few customers in when she popped in it, giving a smile to the boy when he noticed her enter the place. It wasn't a massive shop but it was fairly decent in its range of products which meant that there were quite a few different choices when it came to buying wine. However, when she went to reach out for the same wine she'd just finished, a man's voice interrupted her. "If you pick that bottle, that's a bad taste in wine that you have."

    Vicky whipped her head round to stare at the man who was stood next to her. "Excuse me?"

    "It's so cheap and tasteless. You look like someone who has a taste of the expensive, nice stuff," he continued, indicating to the bottles on the shelf above the one she'd been reaching for.

    "You're saying that I look like a gold-digger?" she asked, completely outraged.

    He shook his head. "No, no, just that you're a woman who has good taste."

    "But this wine isn't good taste?"

    He smiled at her. "Exactly! But then, I guess a lot of women don't look for a good taste in wine unless it's brought for them."

    Vicky's hand twitched to smack the man across his face but instead she just grabbed her desired wine and stalked off, not sparing a look at him as she made her way to the counter where the boy rung up the bottle for her. "My mom likes this wine and she has good taste in everything," the boy told her, making her laugh.

    "And what about you?" she asked.

    "I prefer beer. Wine has a weird taste to it."

    She paid for the bottle and left the shop only to find herself being followed by the man after a moment. "Did I offend you?" he asked, reaching her.

    "I would prefer if you don't talk to me," she said curtly.

    "I didn't mean to. It was just an observation."

    Vicky stopped and turned to face the man. "The nerve of you astounds me. It's one thing to insult someone you don't know, and then it's something quite different to then follow said person and add further insult," she snapped, putting one hand on her hip. "I don't know if that line worked on anyone else but I really hope that I don't see you again."

    "It wasn't a line-"

    She cut him off. "I know when a man drops a line. Sometimes they're bad lines and sometimes they're not. Yours was just incredibly dumb."

    "So it definitely didn't work?" he clarified, a small smile playing on his lips.

    "Goodbye," she said curtly and strode away from the man, grateful that he had some sense not to follow after her again. Her grip on the bottle stayed tight until she reached home. Chloe was looking through the worksheets when she entered the sitting room and placed the bottle on the table. "Has being around kids seriously impaired me that much?"

    Chloe didn't glance up from the paper. "Yes. You even talk to me like I'm seven sometimes."

    Removing the lid from the bottle, Vicky then poured a new glass of wine and took a long sip from it. "You are seven sometimes," she said before grabbing the bottle and going into the kitchen, making sure to screw the lid back on properly before putting the wine away. She had only wanted one more glass of wine tonight, and unfortunately her routine of having three glasses a night whenever she marked a piece of work made it so that she had to go and buy a new bottle if she'd wanted to continue with her work.

    Sometimes she found herself wondering whether she truly did love teaching children if she had to end her day with wine. She had been determined back when she was in school that she wanted to teach children, and that continued right the way through her senior year while led to her applying to college to fulfil her desire. It had even been encouraged by their parents, especially when she actually graduated from high school and went off to college. It was something that they had wished for Chloe to do but she hadn't been one who wanted to continue with education, instead having told them that she would have dropped out of school if she had been allowed. Vicky could understand their parents being disappointed in Chloe but at the same time she could also understand how she just didn't like education. There were a few kids in her class that she knew struggled with the work, and some of them were because they just didn't find anything interesting about it.

    Vicky finished her drink and rinsed her glass, placing it on the draining board before she left the kitchen and went back into the sitting room. "Where's my phone?" she asked, looking to where Chloe pointed in reply. She moved over to the television unit and picked it up, unlocking the screen and scrolling to her messages. The message she was looking for was the first one in the list and all it took was a few seconds for her to click on it and write in the reply that Chloe had been pestering her to say. 'Hi, I would love to go to dinner or something with you! My best night is Friday.'

    With a smile, she locked her screen, bided her sister goodnight and went up to bed.
    March 16th, 2014 at 12:17am
  • @ lord snow
    I thought it was great. Oh AK is perfect and sly :)
    March 16th, 2014 at 12:25am
  • @ lord snow
    First of all, sorry I'm late to this. And I totally adore your new name ;) As you can tell by mine, I am a big GoT stan.

    I don't have a lot of critiques for this one. There's a minor one where you put a comma instead of a period at the end of this following paragraph: (I copied and pasted the whole paragraph so it'll be easier for you to find in your text).
    Quote
    With a sigh, Vicky put it back on the table and finished up her sandwich before getting up, putting some shoes and calling out to her sister that she would be back in a minute as she slammed the door shut behind her. Every week she ended up having to leave the house and go to the nearest shop for a bottle of wine, and from the frequency of her visits, the boy behind the till knew all too well what she would buy. How he was even able to sell alcohol was a mystery to her because he didn't look a day past eighteen,
    Second, I don't know if you want to or not, but doesn't AK have a Welsh accent? Maybe you can mention how the man has an accent? Like when the readers read it, they'll kind of have a hint that it might be AK or if they already predict that it's AK then they should be reminded that he does, indeed have an accent since it's an important element to his character.

    I really love how Vicky and Chloe talk about how she talks to people like they are children. And it is very properly demonstrated during her angry rant at AK at the booze shop. It is wonderful characterization right there! Absolute kudos to you!!!
    March 16th, 2014 at 03:32am
  • @ king in the north
    I'm a big fan of GoT too! Seen all the episodes and am currently on the third book, part one. My name's only for the GoT club, but I really wanted to put "Bastard of Winterfell" but a) I think it'd be too long, and b) we're definitely not allowed profanity in our usernames.

    I thought I'd corrected that full stop but I guess not. Think

    Firstly, it'd depend on which part of Cardiff he was from because some have a really heavy Welsh one, some have a hinting Welsh one, and others don't have an accent that would be categorised as south Walian. Then from him being in America for all those years, it would have dulled down a bit and hint of the general accent of the area he lived would have seeped in as well. Also I figured as Vicky works at a school and obviously hears kids with different accents on a daily basis, she wouldn't really pay attention and be like "he's talking with an accent", y'know? It was why I didn't add anything about it in. Think
    March 16th, 2014 at 03:42am