Sorrowed Happiness

I sat in the sitting room as I always did, waiting for dinner to be over. I wasn't permitted to eat with the family when guests were invited. I was however allowed to sit with them for tea afterwards, so it was here I waited until they came. I ate alone, as I always did. Usually when one eats alone, they tend to finish faster. No one to bother to talk with. The servants weren't even to eat with me. It was like I was in this uncomfortable medium, too high or too low. Never able to fit with both.

I was told we were having guests, but I wasn't sure who. I was sure Elizabeth would tell me later, I just needed to wait until she would have the time.

Elizabeth sighed as her grandfather droned on about something she had no interest in, all she wanted to do was go and sit with Devan whom she considered her sister. As she ate her food slowly, she hoped she could be excused, her corset was digging into her skin and all she wanted to do was rip it off - forget propriety this contraption was going to end up killing her. She placed a hand to her stomach, "May I be excused, I suddenly feel ill," she said to her grandfather who looked concerned.

"Of course, go lie down for a while and I'll come check on you soon," he said to her.

Carter looked up as Elizabeth stood. "Do you need someone to accompany you?" He asked, standing as she stood from the table. It was his family that was over, his family was interested in a marriage proposal with a daughter of the family. He assumed it was her, she was the only one present.

"No thank you," she said softly, "I appreciate the gesture non the less," she spoke softly as she gave a small curtsy - she knew it was the corset that was taking her breath away making it harder for her to breath. She picked up her fan and waved it in front of her face as as she slowly made her way to her room with the help of one of her maids. When she got to her room ,"I demand this corset be removed or I might faint," she said shakily as she held onto the back of one of her chairs.

I heard Elizabeth's voice and I stood, walking over to her room. "Whats wrong?" I asked in confusion, seeing her look dizzy and faint. "Is it too tight?" I asked her with a sigh, going to sit at the chair.

She nodded and sucked in a breath of air when the maid loosened her laces,"Oh bother these are horrible, I can't stand it," she said with a whine.

I sighed a little. "Who's at dinner? Are they nice? Handsome? Grandfather told me I have to wait here until everyone comes into the sitting room. Are they coming?" I asked, hating having to be left out like this.

"It's a prospective husband, he seemed nice enough," she murmured lightly as she licked over her lips, "They don't know know anything about me, he has fed them lies since the moment he spoke to them," she murmured lightly, "I don't know if this will work, but it's not like I have a choice, I need a husband."

I sighed a little. "Well, I hope that it is someone who will make you happy, and you don't have to settle for less." I said as I sat back in the chair. "I overheard grandfather was taking on an apprentice as a lawyer, was he at dinner as well?" I hated having to sit out and be alienated, I just wish that rules could be tossed and I would be free to do whatver I wanted.

She nodded,"I believe he was yes," she said to her as she let her hair down and sighed when the maids got on to her,"I'm not leaving my room for the rest of the.." she stopped when she heard a knock on the door, she pulled her robe around her body tying it shut.

"Who is it?" she asked softly from where she stood.

A maid opened it and stepped aside as a young man walked in, bowing politely. "My apologies, I wanted to make sure you were feeling better. You were complaining of feeling ill, so I came to ensure you were alright." He smiled poiletly, noticing the other person in the room.

---

I turned around so he wouldn't see my face. It was another one of those rules, you hide your face until formally introduced. Especially in my case, I could be mistaken as a servant. So I was invisible until said otherwise.

She smiled,"I feel quite better actually," she said softly, "I appreciate your concern," she said to him lightly.

"I'm sorry we didn't get to talk much tonight maybe you can come over for tea so we can talk some other time?" she offered.

He nodded. "Of course, I'll send a letter so that we may name a date." He smiled, noticing the other woman in the room, but remained silent, not wanting to be rude. "Well, I am glad you're feeling better, I will be in contact with you soon so we may meet again."

"Of course, I would like you to meet my best friend and a part of my family, this is Devan Blake," she said to him softly,

I looked at Elizabeth in confusion, she knew I wasn't supposed to be introduced as family, but she was notorious for ignoring rules. "Pleasure to meet you." I smiled politely, turning so I faced him.

---

He smiled politely and bowed, confused, but accepting nonetheless. "An honor," He murmured, looking at them. "May I ask why you weren't present at dinner?" He asked her.

"I wasn't feeling well. I am now, thank you for asking." She smiled, looking at her hands.

She shook her head,"My grandparents are worried what people think," she told him honestly, "I don't," she said to him lightly, "She is my best friend, if it weren't for her I'd have died a long time ago due to boredom and quiet nights," she said nudging her playfully.

I smiled a little and laughed at her words, ducking my head. I really did think of Elizabeth as family, and she usually didn't care what people thought. That was our grandparents.

---

He nodded in understanding. "Well, I have never understood social rules and don't follow them myself. Its a pleasure to meet you and I hope to meet you as well. I have to get going, but I hope to see you within the week."

She smiled,"Of course, " she said as she curtsied to him. "I hope to see you soon," this was it she thought, he accepted her - the most important person in her life, he had to be the one. Her heart nearly fluttered out of her chest.

He bowed to them both before leaving the room. "Goodnight," he said as he left.

---

I smiled a little at her. "Well, well! Looks like someone might have an offer!" I said excitedly. "Who else was at dinner? What did they talk about?"