it's hurting you, but it's killing me

"Well, it's good that he's doing better, but do you think maybe he should see a doctor or something?" Emma suggested, reaching for her drink. "Maybe they could help him with his sleep problem." She took a sip of the drink, thinking about what to say to Lennox about Zacky. Emma usually told her friend just the basics, pretty vague things, but she knew if she kept that up, Lennox would get suspicious. "Zacky's good," she finally said. "We uh, we kinda got into a fight last night after we left the restaurant, though. But things seem fine now."

---

It didn't take long for Matt to decide that beer wasn't going to cut it. He went back into the kitchen and dug to the back of the freezer, where he had a bottle of vodka hidden. It was nearly full, so hopefully it would be enough. With his alcohol in hand, Matt went back into the living room and sat down on the couch, opening the bottle and tipping his head back to take a large gulp. He made a face as the liquid burned its way down; vodka didn't taste that great, but it sure would help take his mind off of things.

Lennox shook her head, "No he won't go to a doctor. I asked him to see one and freaked out. He paced around for an hour yelling at me about how i'm trying to get rid of him and how hurt he was that i don't support him or trust him." She explained. She smiled when their food came then looked at the waiter. "Can i get an order of spaghetti with a bread stick to go please." She asked. She watched as the guy nodded and walked away. Lennox began to eat, "This is so good." She said. After she finished eating then looked at Emma, "I'm sure that Zacky and you will be fine. AFter all you got him food." She said as they paid the bill and got up. She laughed as they walked out of the diner. " I will see you later." She said as she hugged her.

Lennox walked into her house, holding Matt's food and sighed when she heard music playing loudly. Lennox shut the door, pulling her things down. "Babe?" She called. She walked by the living room, seeing all the beer and a few liquor bottles. "Matt." She said. She bit her bottom lip lightly as she walked into the kitchen and set his food down. sHe wondered if he had passed out already.

---

Zacky sat in the living room watched the tv. He looked over as the door opened, "Hey babe." He said. He stood up, "Everything look okay?" He asked as she glanced around the house. He walked over and took his food, kissing her softly. He stepped back and held his food, "Have fun with Lennox?" He asked.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

"Yeah," Emma replied. She wished things were that simple, but she knew it wasn't. Emma hugged Lennox goodbye and headed home, surprised by the warm welcome she got from Zacky. But she wasn't about to complain. "Everything looks great," she said, looking around. She smiled. "You did a good job." Emma pecked Zacky's lips one more time before heading upstairs to change into something more comfortable. She hoped Zacky would want to help her decorate the Christmas tree, but she wasn't sure. "You wanna help me with the tree, Zack?" she asked, pulling over a box of ornaments.

---

Matt grumbled, rubbing his hand over his face when he heard his name being called. He'd been so close to falling asleep and now he was pissed that he'd been woken up. He slowly sat up on the couch, looking over to see Lennox standing there, a to-go box in her hand. "Youwokemeup," Matt slurred, glaring at her. He could see her eyes scanning over the beer bottles and the vodka. "Don't even...say anything, m'allowed todrink if I wanna."

Zacky looked at her, "yea I will help you." He said as he watched her get the stuff out. He walked to te living room after he put the leftovers in the fridge. "I will eat when we are done." He said as he sat down on the couch and helped her take stuff out of the boxes.

----

Lennox frowned, "I didn't say you couldn't I just....you don't even like vodka." She said. She walked into the kitchen and put his food on the counter. She exhaled slowly then grabbed a bag and walked into the living room. She began to put the empty bottles in the bag. "Your food is on the counter babe." She said softly after she was done. She sighed and threw the stuff away. She knew not to argue with him when he was drunk.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

Emma smiled like an idiot the entire time she and Zacky were decorating the tree. She loved when he was like this, all happy and not screaming at her. It reminded her of the early part of their relationship, when she actually felt like Zacky loved her. She knew it probably wouldn't last long, but she would enjoy it while it lasted. "I'm gonna make some hot chocolate, do you want any?" Emma asked once they'd finished. She got to her feet, heading towards the kitchen. She figured Zacky would have to come into the kitchen to get his food anyway, so she didn't wait for him to answer as she started boiling the milk on the stovetop.

---

"Hey, comebackhere," Matt slurred, reaching out for Lennox's retreating form. "Lennox!" Matt rose to his feet and stumbled into the kitchen, where Lennox was throwing away his trash from the living room. He reached for her wrist and yanked her close, feeling himself get angry when she tried to fight him. "Stop and listen t'me," he said, swaying on his feet. But Lennox kept fighting him, whining that he was hurting her. "I said fucking listen to me!" Matt shouted. He released Lennox's wrist, pushing her away and laying the back of his hand across her cheek. Even drunk, Matt instantly realized what he'd done. He quickly reached out to Lennox. "Lennox, m'so sorry, baby," he said.

Zacky walked into the kitchen and started to heat up his food. "What all did you talk to Lennox about today?" He asked as e watched his food rotate in the microwave. He really hoped he didn't talk about him to her. He knew that she had told her stuff before. Zacky really didn't like her having friends but Lennox had been around for awhile.

---

Lennox gasped as he grabbed ahold of her, "Matt let go you're hurting me!" She whined. She stumbled back and screamed when he slapped her. Lennox stepped away from him when he went to touch her again, "get away from me." She cried as she slapped his hand away. She retreated to their bedroom and locked him out. Lennox cried and laid on the bed sobbing into the pillow. Matt had never once laid a hand on her before and she couldn't believe he just did.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

"Just girl things, you wouldn't be interested," Emma answered vaguely. She turned off the burner as the milk started to boil and moved the pot to a different burner. She noticed Zacky giving her a pointed look from his spot by the microwave and she quickly added, "And uh, we talked about Matt. He hasn't been sleeping well lately and Lennox is worried about him." Emma kept her gaze away from Zacky as she put cocoa into two mugs and added the hot milk. She knew Zacky wouldn't be happy to know that Emma had told Lennox that they'd gotten into a fight, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

---

Matt nearly fell in his haste to follow Lennox to the bedroom. When he got there and found the door locked, he felt the anger rise in his chest again. She couldn't lock him out of the bedroom! He just wanted to apologize to her. Matt pounded hard on the door with his fists, shouting, "Lennox, letmein!" He continued to bang on the door for a few minutes before he realized she wasn't going to let him. He laid his palm flat on the door, now feeling immense guilt rather than anger. "Lennox." His voice was softer this time, but still loud enough that she could hear it. "Please let me in, m'sorry I hit you."

Zacky took his food from the microwave, "You really shouldn't get involved in their issues Em." He said as he sat down and began to eat. He watched as she set the drink in front of him. "I mean i'm sure Matt doesnt want people knowing that he is having a hard time right now. Lennox shouldn't run her mouth so much. That's how people get in trouble." He said, watching her again.

---

Lennox looked up from her pillow and wiped her eyes. She got up slowly and walked over to the door. She unlocked it then scampered back to the bed. Lennox stood on the other side of it and crossed her arms. "Please just leave me alone Matt." She said as she wiped her eyes. Her cheek was already becoming bruised. Lennox looked at him, seeing how sad he looked.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

"I wasn't getting involved in their business," Emma said softly. She grabbed her mug of hot chocolate and sat down across from Zacky, taking a tentative sip. "And I'm sure Lennox just wanted to get things off her chest, she's probably having a hard time with it, too." She looked at Zacky cautiously, noticing that he was watching her. She could hear the edge in his voice and she knew that if she wasn't careful, this day would go downhill very quickly. "We were just talking, no big deal."

---

Matt stood in the doorway for a few minutes, just looking at Lennox. He could tell by her body language that she was scared of him, and he honestly didn't blame her. Finally he stumbled over to her, stopping just in front of her. "Lennox, m'so sorry," he mumbled. He reached out to touch her face, not missing how she flinched. He grazed his fingers over her cheek, where the skin was starting to tinge purple. He felt horrible that he'd hit her and done this to her.

Zacky just stared at her, "well maybe Matt let's her run her mouth about their lives but you better keep yours shut." He snapped. Zacky went back to eating his food then took a sip of his hot chocolate. Maybe he shouldn't let her hang out with Lennox at all. Zacky stared at her, "so you didn't say one word to her about me?" He asked.

---

Lennox stared at him, flinching when he touched her cheek. "Can we please just go to sleep. We have that dinner tomorrow." She pleaded. She pulled away then went and stripped out of her clothes before she got dressed for bed. She climbed into bed then watched him for a moment. He was so drunk and she wished he didn't drink what he did:

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

Zacky just stared at her, "well maybe Matt let's her run her mouth about their lives but you better keep yours shut." He snapped. Zacky went back to eating his food then took a sip of his hot chocolate. Maybe he shouldn't let her hang out with Lennox at all. Zacky stared at her, "so you didn't say one word to her about me?" He asked.

---

Lennox stared at him, flinching when he touched her cheek. "Can we please just go to sleep. We have that dinner tomorrow." She pleaded. She pulled away then went and stripped out of her clothes before she got dressed for bed. She climbed into bed then watched him for a moment. He was so drunk and she wished he didn't drink what he did:

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

"N-No," Emma stuttered. She took another sip of her cocoa, looking anywhere but at Zack. She'd never been the greatest liar, especially when it came to him. But it wasn't like she'd told Lennox something bad, just that she and Zacky got into an argument, which wasn't even the whole truth to begin with. "I mean, I did mention that you were doing good when Lennox asked about you, but that's it."

---

"M'gonna go sleep on the couch," Matt mumbled. He didn't want to be around Lennox right now, because he was terrified that he might hit her again. He'd definitely have to make it up to her tomorrow, if she'd even speak to him. He stood in the doorway for a few minutes, watching as Lennox changed and laid down in bed. He wanted to say something else, but instead Matt just mumbled a goodnight and stumbled to the living room.

Zacky looked up at her, glaring, "What exactly did you say to Lennox?" He asked as he set his fork down. "You realize that our business is not for other people to know about?" He snapped. He stood up and glared at him. Zacky leaned against the counter, watching her closely. "So again, What did you tell LEnnox?" He asked.

---

Lennox woke up the next morning and sighed as she walked to the bathroom and took a shower. Lennox got dressed for that evening and did her make up. She frowned when she realized the bruise was going to be hard to hide. She didn't want Matt's mother to make a scene at the dinner. She knew his sister would be there and he hated her husband already. Mostly because everyone acted like they walked on water at these family events. Lennox finished doing her make up then walked downstairs to get something to eat. She made herself a bagel with cream cheese and stood at the counter. She had made something to take with them yesterday so she didn't have to worry about that.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

"I didn't tell her anything Zack, I promise," Emma whimpered. She could feel his eyes burning into her skin and so she kept her gaze trained on the table. She knew Zacky was probably getting angry with her and she felt stupid for saying anything in the first place.

---

Matt woke up with a pounding headache, which wasn't surprising considering how much he had to drink last night. He peeled himself off of the couch and went upstairs to shower and change. He passed Lennox in the kitchen, but she wouldn't look at him. He wanted to apologize to her, but he also didn't want to start anything right before they went to dinner at his parents'. He just hoped no one would notice the bruises on her cheek, but Matt was sure Lennox had done her best to cover them up.

Zacky frowned, "You better not have because if i found out you did you wont have anymore lunch dates with Lennox." He snapped. Zacky walked off and left his food there. Zacky walked upstairs and got ready for bed before he laid down. If he had to he would cut her off from seeing Lennox. He wanted her to depend only one him.

---

Lennox finished her bagel then grabbed the food she had made for tonight and set it on the counter. She didn't want to even say anything to Matt. When it was time to go she grabbed her things and walked out. She frowned when he went to talk once they got in the car. "Can we just not talk right now." She muttered. "We can pretend to be a happy couple when we get there." She said as she looked out the window. She bit her bottom lip lightly as he drove to his mothers. Lennox got out and walked inside with him. SHe smiled when she saw his mom, "Hey." She said as she hugged her and handed her the food.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

Emma watched as Zacky walked away and got up to pour what was left of her hot chocolate into the sink. She knew he wasn't bluffing when he said he would stop her from seeing Lennox. But staying in this house with just him for company would drive her crazy. Emma waited a few minutes before following Zacky upstairs. She laid down in the bed, curling up on her side facing away from him and drew the comforter up to her chin. It was times like these that Emma really though about leaving Zacky, but she was too scared. And as fucked up as it was, she still loved him, even after the way he treated her.

---

Matt frowned when Lennox cut him off. He just wanted to explain himself, to tell her that what happened was an accident and he felt absolutely terrible about it. It pissed him off that she wouldn't let him talk. Matt hugged his mother when he arrived at her house, gritting his teeth at her standard comments about what a good looking couple he and Lennox were. He usually loved family gatherings, but since he'd gotten back from overseas, he hadn't felt like doing anything except drinking and sleeping, which was still pretty elusive to him.

Zacky laid in bed with her and kept his arm tightly around her. He woke up the next morning, watching her for a moment. He really didn't want her to leave him or even think about it. He hoped she didn't tell Lennox anything that would make Lennox try to get her to leave. Zacky walked downstairs and started to make breakfast for the two of them.
---

Lennox smiled as his mother's comment then changed the subject to the food she had made. Lennox walked into the kitchen with his mother then got herself a glass of wine. Drinking has never been her strong point so it didn't take much to get her drunk. Lennox frowned when she saw Matt sister and his brother in law walk in. Lennox took a sip of her wine, frowning when Marcus questioned Matt about what went on over seas. She watched as Matt's mood shifted instantly. Lennox finished her glass of wine and got another before walking into the room and grabbing Matt's arm, "baby I need your help in the kitchen." She said, looking up at him. She may have been mad but she wasn't going to let Marcus upset him. She pulled him into the kitchen and took a sip of her wine looking out the window as they stood there.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

When Emma woke up, Zacky was already gone. But his side of the bed was still warm, which meant that he hadn't been gone for very long. Emma got up and went into the bathroom to brush her hair before heading downstairs, where she could hear Zacky moving around. She didn't say a word as she sat down at the table, watching Zacky cook breakfast.

---

Matt took a seat on the couch, listening as his mom and Lennox talked about the food. At least that was one thing he had to look forward to. Both women were exceptionally good cooks and Matt would never turn down an opportunity to eat anything they cooked. A bit later, Matt's sister Amy and her husband walked in, and Marcus immediately began asking Matt about his time overseas. Matt tensed up, not trying to hide the frown on his face. "That's none of your fucking business," he hissed. He let Lennox lead him into the kitchen, honestly happy for the distraction. As much as he would love to hit Marcus, now wasn't the time.

Zacky looked at her, "You hungry?" He asked as he went back to making their food. He knew that she probably was and he was hoping not to fight with her today. He put her food on a plate and set it in front of her. "What are your plans for today?" He asked. He knew that she didn't like to just sit around. As much as he liked her home he didn't want to chain her down all the time.

---

Lennox turned to him, then stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She buried her face in his chest and gripped his shirt. She hated that Marcus even brought that up to Matt. "I'm sorry." She mumbled against his shirt. She hated that they had fought, but she was upset. Lennox looked up at him and let her hands move up his back. She hoped that Marcus wouldn't say anything else to Matt for the night. She saw that Matt had a face with no emotion on it. "Hey." She whispered as she placed her hand on his cheek, "It's okay." She said as she ran her thumb over his cheek.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

Emma shook her head. "No," she whispered. This was a mostly a lie, she could feel her stomach grumbling. But she wasn't really in the mood to hear any comments from Zacky. The blonde shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know," she answered. "I'll probably just lay around and watch TV." She wanted to go see her brother Thomas and sister Reagan, but the last time she'd done that, Zacky had gotten mad because he thought she would tell them about him and the things that happened between them. And she really wasn't in the mood for any arguing today.

---

"It'll be okay when that idiot learns to keep his mouth shut," Matt growled. He reached up and grabbed Lennox's hand, dropping it from his face. He moved away from her, mumbling something about going outside to smoke a cigarette. He didn't like that he was pushing her away, but lately he seemed to want to be around people - even Lennox - less and less. The flashbacks and the lack of sleep were making him hostile and irritable. And it didn't help that she was always pushing him to see a doctor or a therapist. He didn't need anyone to tell him that he was falling apart.