it's hurting you, but it's killing me

Zacky nodded then sat down with his plate of food. He began to eat, "Alright well i'm going to lunch with a few of the guys so i guess you can just hang out here." He said. He was glad that she wasn't going to leave the house. SHe was slowly understanding this was where she belonged at. Zacky finished his food and put his plate in the sink. He figured she would take care of that for him. Zacky walked away and went to the bedroom to get ready to leave.

---

Lennox sighed as he pulled away and walked outside. She looked over as his mom walked in and asked if he was okay. Lennox nodded, "Yea he is perfectly fine." She said. She really didn't want to hear him complain about her whining to his mother. Lennox walked out of the kitchen and sat in the living room as everyone talked. She hated that he was letting her alone with Marcus and his sister. They were such assholes.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

"Alright," Emma sighed. She watched as Zacky got up and then got up herself to start on the dishes. She did most of the cleaning around the house, because Zack said it made her 'useful'. If he wanted a maid, he should just hire one. But Emma didn't want to get yelled at or put down, so she did what he wanted. Once the dishes were done, Emma went into the living room and sat down on the couch, planning on watching Christmas cartoons all day.

---

Matt took a long, hard drag from his cigarette, letting the nicotine soak into his lungs. He just wanted to go home, he didn't want to sit and eat and suffer through small talk and all the comments about how much everyone had missed him and how glad they were that he was back, he just wanted to go home. He wanted to be alone so he could scream and vent his frustrations and use alcohol to cope with the fact that he was sure he was going crazy.

Zacky walked downstairs and grabbed his keys, "I'm leaving. Try not to be an idiot today." He said. He walked out of the house then made his way to his car. He drove to the restaurant to meet his friends and began to drink. If he needed to he would just have Emma come get his drunk ass.

---

Lennox bit her bottom lip lightly when Matt's mom said dinner was done. Lennox walked outside, finding Matt on the porch. She shivered at how cold it was and was amazed that he was even sitting in the bitter cold. Lennox walked over to him and sat on the stairs next to him. "Dinner is ready." She said as she stared out into the yard. "You don't have to come inside if you don't want to." She muttered as she stood up and looked down at him. She walked inside and sat down at the table. She rolled her eyes when his sister complained about Matt sitting outside and how Lennox wasn't a good girlfriend for letting him sit out there.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

Emma sighed and relaxed against the couch. There was no winning with Zack; in his eyes, she could never do anything right. And she knew that since he was going out with his friends he was going to get drunk, and Zacky was a mean drunk. Mean to her, anyway. Add to that the fact that she would have to go pick him up and it made a terrible day for Emma.

---

"I'll be inside in a few, gotta finish this cigarette," Matt mumbled. He was down to the roach, but he was determined to milk every second of this that he could. He dreaded the awkward small talk of dinner and he was sure Marcus would make another comment. But if he did Matt would just punch him in the face and blame it on being irritable from lack of sleep. Marcus pissed everybody off anyway, they'd probably like to see him get punched.

Zacky stared at his glass towards the end of the night and called Emma. He smirked as she answered, "Come get me." He said. He knew that she would be on her way. "Like right now." He muttered before he hung up. He paid his bill then worked on finishing his last beer. He knew that it might be awhile til she got there.

---

Lennox sat at the table, eating quietly as his sister kept complaining that Matt wasn't eating. Lennox was relieved when he finally came inside. She watched as he got food on his plate then went back to eating hers. Lennox looked up as Matt's dad walked into the room. "You guys won't be leaving tonight that storm just picked up big time." He said as he dusted the snow off his shoulder. Lennox frowned, knowing that Matt would not want to stay. "We can't stay." She said. Matt's mom frowned, "Well you are and you guys will just stay in Matt's old room." She said, looking at Matt with a stern look.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

With a sigh, Emma located her keys and headed out. She didn't even bother to change clothes. She had Brian help her get Zacky into the car and then headed home. She hoped he would just go straight to bed, but Emma was sure that wouldn't happen.

---

"I think we'll be fine getting home," Matt said, his voice deadpan. "We don't live that far away." The last thing he wanted was to stay here, where everyone could witness firsthand that his sanity was all a facade. Of course, Matt's mom insisted they stay, and it was impossible for Matt to say no to her.

Zacky frowned as she walked into the bar, "well don't you look like shit." He snapped. He laughed as Brian pulled him to the car. Zacky got in then watched as Emma got in. "You know you would think you would dress up slightly when you go places." He muttered as he messed with the radio.

---

Lennox frowned as his mother made Matt agree. She was glad when dinner was over and she could hide in Matt's room and go to bed. She walked into his room with him, kick off her heels and took off her dress. She looked at him for a moment then climbed into the bed. Lennox watched as he laid down then rolled on her side, facing him as she took his hand. She laced her fingers with his. She closed her eyes and slowly fell asleep as she held his hand.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

"Except I wasn't going anywhere, just coming to pick you up," Emma mumbled. She pulled away from the bar, heading in the direction of their house. "And I wasn't changing clothes just to do that." She wished she'd at least changed pants though, if only to prevent a comment like the one Zacky just made. You would think Emma would be used to hearing him talk to her like that, but it still hurt.

---

Matt waited until Lennox was asleep and then left the bedroom. He wasn't ready to go to bed, because he knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep. Grabbing his phone and his pack of cigarettes, Matt snuck out the back door, lighting up a cigarette. He knew he should at least try and get some sleep, but the nightmares almost made it not even worth it to try.

Zacky glared at her,"Are you getting smart with me?" HE asked as he watched her. He was pretty pissed off that she had left the house looking like that. Zacky didn't understand why it made him so mad, but it was like the anger was just boiling inside of him.

---

Lennox work up the next morning and frowned when she saw Matt wasn't in bed with her. She got up and got dressed before she walked downstairs. She found Matt and looked at him, "Are you ready to go home?" She asked him.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

"N-No, I'm not," Emma said quickly. She could feel Zacky's glare burning into her and she wanted to cry, but she knew that would only make things worse. When they got home, Emma slowly helped Zacky into the living room, depositing him onto the couch before hurrying upstairs. She didn't want to be around him, but she knew he'd be calling for her to do something else for him here soon.

---

Matt barely glanced over at Lennox when he felt her walk up to him. "Of course I'm fucking ready to go home, why the hell would I want to stay here any longer?" he growled. He pulled the keys from his pocket and shoved them at her. "You drive, I'm too tired."

Zacky relaxed on the couch and looked at the tv. "Emma! Make me a fucking sandwich!" He yelled. He looked back at the tv as he flipped through the stations. Zacky smirked as he heard her coming down the stairs. "You know exactly how i want it." He said.

---

Lennox grabbed the keys then walked with him to the car. She didn't say much as she drove home. It was still snowing but it was bearable. Once they were home she walked inside and went to take a shower. She got changed into something comfortable then walked downstairs to see Matt. "Matt....Baby." she said as she sat on the couch next to him. She moved her long hair over her shoulder. "Why don't you at least try to get a nap?" She whispered. She bit her bottom lip lightly as she watched him.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

Emma sighed as she went into the kitchen to make Zacky's sandwich. She wished he'd treat her a little nicer, but she knew it wouldn't happen, especially now when he was beyond drunk. After making the sandwich, Emma grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and took everything to Zacky. "Here you go," she mumbled.

---

"Because I know I won't be able to fall asleep," Matt said. If it was as easy as trying, Matt would sleep for days on end. It pissed him off that Lennox didn't understand that, that she kept pushing him to try something that didn't work and when it did work, left him with nightmares and flashbacks so scarring he didn't want to sleep.

Zacky smirked, "Sit down quit being a little bitch." He said as he pulled her down. He began to eat and made her sit next to him. Zacky looked over at her when he was down. He leaned back against the couch, pulling her to him. "What did you do today?" He slurred. He watched the tv, not listening to what she was saying.

---

Lennox nodded, "Okay." She whispered. She looked at the movie on tv then looked back at him. "Do you mind if i leaned against you to watch the movie?" She asked as she held the blanket around her shoulders. She never had to ask him to do stuff like that. Now she figured she would make sure that it wouldn't make him mad.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

Emma made a soft noise of protest when Zacky pulled her down on the couch next to him. His comment was completely unnecessary, but she didn't expect any less coming from him. "I just sat around and watched Christmas cartoons," Emma answered, knowing Zacky didn't really care.

---

"I guess it's fine," Matt grumbled. He didn't really want to sit and watch a movie. He didn't really want to do anything. But it wouldn't hurt him to try and watch the movie with Lennox. About thirty minutes into the movie, however, Matt had had enough and excused himself, slipping out the back door with his pack of cigarettes.

Zacky finished watching tv then stood up. "Well i am going to bed." He said as he got up. He walked to his room then laid down on the bed after stripping down to his boxers. He stared up at the ceiling before he passed out.

---

Lennox smiled as she relaxed against him. She let her fingers lace with his, "I really missed you Matt." She whispered. She hated having to spend so much time away from him. Now it was like he was another person. She let him up when he wanted to go outside. She laid on the couch, closing her eyes. She fell asleep on the couch, holding the cover close.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

"Goodnight, Zack," Emma sighed. She watched as he headed upstairs before stretching out on the couch. She reached for the remote and changed the channel back to her cartoons.

---

Matt finally ventured back inside when it got too cold from him. He saw Lennox sleeping on the couch and he suddenly felt painfully sad. Before his last deployment, he would have laid down with her and pulled her close, but now all he wanted to do was go lay down in bed alone.

Zacky slept quietly and took up the whole bed. He woke up the next morning and sighed at the headache he felt. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He frowned when he didn't see Emma.

---

Lennox slept on the couch all night and woke up, sighing when she realized where she was. She had never liked sleeping on the couch. Lennox got up and went to get ready for the day. She got dressed then walked downstairs and started to make breakfast. She knew Matt was probably sleeping or trying to so she was quiet.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

Emma wasn't surprised when she woke up on the couch. The last thing she remembered was watching a really old version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And she hadn't really wanted to go upstairs to sleep with Zacky. Sitting up, she stretched her arms over her head, deciding to wait for Zacky to wake up. She knew he would be irritable, because he was probably hungover.

---

Matt heard Lennox shuffling around downstairs, which meant she must be awake. She must've slept on the couch, although Matt was surprised she hadn't gotten into bed with him during the night, since she really liked to smother him lately. He'd actually managed to get a few hours worth of sleep last night, but it wasn't nearly enough. With a groan he got out of bed, knowing he wouldn't be getting any more sleep.

Zacky stumbled downstairs and frowned when he saw Emma. "Make me breakfast." He said as he watched her. He rubbed his temples, "Also get me Tylenol and water." He said as he sat down in the recliner. He sighed as he grabbed the remote and started to flip through the channels.

---

Lennox sat down with her breakfast and looked over when she heard Matt come downstairs. "Morning baby. Did you sleep okay?" She asked as she looked up at him. She was hoping he managed to get some sleep.

@ ZackyEffingVengeance

Emma sighed, getting up from the couch and going into the kitchen. She grabbed the Tylenol and a glass of water first, taking both of them to Zacky before going back into the kitchen. She pulled some eggs and bacon from the fridge, turning on the stove.

---

"Does it look like I fucking slept okay?" Matt grumbled, shuffling over to the fridge. He opened it and pulled out a package of sausages. "God, you're fucking stupid," he added very softly beneath his breath. He didn't understand why Lennox was always breathing down his neck about sleep; couldn't she just leave him be?