i will let you down, i will make you hurt.

"Fuck you!" She yelled as she saw Matt walk away. Now, she was fuming. She didn't dare go after him, knowing she would hit him. But she didn't feel like being alone either. She returned her shoes before walking out of the bowling alley.
She couldn't believe Matt left her. She guess she kinda did believe it, she was a bitch. But she couldn't help it. She started to think it was the drugs, but it has never made her feel this way before.
She texted Brian, seeing as he was the drug guru, to see if cocaine can do this.

---

Zacky couldn't hold himself back any farther. He stood up and slipped himself inside of her. He needed to be inside of her when she came, he wanted to feel it. He knew he was risking it without a condom, but would pull out before he came.
"Fuck baby." He moaned as he pushed in and out of her. He felt her walls start to tighten around him, he was trying hard to hold back, but couldn't. He spilled inside of her.
"Shit." He said as he realized what happened. He pulled out and looked down at her with wide eyes.

"Goddammit, Zack," Kristen mumbled. She got up and went over to her bag, pulling out a pair of jeans and a shirt. She pulled these on before going back over to sit on the bed. She grabbed her phone and started looking up places to a Plan B pill. She was on birth control, but with everything going on lately she hadn't really been taking it and she didn't want to risk it anyway.

"Put some clothes on, we're going to Walmart," Kristen said, getting to her feet. She went to grab her wallet. "And bring some money, because this pill is like fifty fucking bucks."

---

Back at the hotel room, Matt didn't even bother to take his shoes off before he went to grab the bottle of whiskey from the desk. He twisted the cap off, tipping the bottle back and chugging until he started to cough, sputtering and spitting a bit of the alcohol onto the floor. He just wanted to drink, that's all he wanted to do. He was fine with bowling with Abigail, until she got all pissy for no reason.

Matt repeated his actions, noticing the frightening lack of a burn as he nearly finished off the whiskey. He knew he would probably be beyond plastered by the time Abigail got back and he wouldn't be surprised if she just let him sleep wherever he passed out.

"It fucks with your brain Abi, of course it can make you angry."
Abigail groaned as she read the text from Brian. She couldn't catch a break. She enjoyed the way it made her feel, besides this way. She thought about trying something else, but was afraid it wouldn't live up to the way cocaine normally made her feel. Maybe it was just this time, or maybe it was the coke Brian got her.

She shook her head of her thoughts and continued to walk down the street, still unsure of where she was going.

---

"I'm sorry." he mumbled before following her lead and getting dressed.
On their way to Wal-Mart he had to ask, "Um, what exactly does the plan b do?"
He had heard of it, but don't know how it worked.
He knew they couldn't afford to have a kid right now. But he couldn't help but think about what it would be, boy or a girl. Who would it look like more?
He shook his head and tried to forget about it.

"It prevents an egg from being fertilized so I can't get pregnant," Kristen answered, leaning her head over against the window of the cab. "Unless it's already been fertilized, then it won't do shit." Kristen didn't think Zacky had gotten her pregnant this time, at least not yet. But she didn't want to risk it, or even think about it. She honestly wasn't sure she wanted to have a baby at all, ever, but especially not right now, when she and Zacky were having fun living their lives and also doing heroin.

"So...if it turns out that I'm already pregnant, then I think I should tell you that I'm probably gonna have an abortion," Kristen said softly, brushing her hair away from her face. She sighed. "I just don't want a baby right now, Zack. I really don't."

---

When Abigail hadn't come back to the hotel room after nearly two hours, Matt started to worry. He wanted to go look for her, but he was in no state to go anywhere. Honestly, he thought he might throw up if he moved too much. He reached for his phone, feeling around on the bedside table until he felt it. He opened his text messages and pulled up the the thread with Abigail.

Abi were the to FL are you it's like midnight I'm worried Abi It was hard for Matt to type and he knew part of the message didn't make sense, but he was sure Abigail would understand what he meant.

Abigail picked up her phone when it vibrated and couldn't help but roll her eyes at Matt's drunken text. She sighed and put her phone next to her again before looking back at Jimmy.
She ended up coming to his room, knowing he would listen to her and help her. She had always been closest to Jimmy, it was like a brother she never had.

"Druken texts, great." She mumbled, laying back on the bed.
"You know this isn't the real you, it's the drugs. You would never hit Matt, but you have since you started. High and withdrawing. Don't ya think that says something? I know I have no room to talk, but I never get violent like you do." Jimmy said from across the room. "Just suck it up and go back. You know he needs you, and you know you need him too."

Abigail slid her keycard in her hotel room door and opened it.

---

Zacky snapped his head towards her as she said abortion. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to think things through. He knew they couldn't have one right now and be half way decent parents. But he couldn't help but feel hate towards her. She would really kill their child?

"I agree, we can't be parents right now. But you would really get an abortion? That's fucking murder Kristen." He sneared. He tried to keep his cool about this, but couldn't help himself. He was pissed and wanted her to know it.

Kristen was grateful that they had already reached the store. "Fuck you, Zack," she hissed. She paid the cabbie and climbed out of the cab, storming towards the store. "You're a shitty person, you know that, right? Yes, if I got pregnant right now, I'd have an abortion. Why the hell should I have to suffer for your fucking stupidity?"

Once she was inside the store, Kristen left Zacky behind as she went over to the section with the pills. She didn't want to see his face right now, even if it meant she had to pay for the entire thing. She grabbed a box of the plan B and started heading towards the register. As she walked, she spotted a package of insulin syringes and grabbed those, too.

---

Matt was out on the balcony when he heard the door opening. He had been wrong when he thought it was midnight, something he'd only done because he was drunk. It was barely six o'clock, he could tell by the fact that the sun was barely setting. "Abi, m'out here," he called. He couldn get up, or he was pretty sure he'd fall. And it would be a pretty shitty end to the day if he fell off the balcony.

Matt wondered if Abigail was still mad at him. He was sure he'd still love pissed if he weren't so drunk. "M'glad you're back, Iwasworried," he slurred. He reached for the bottle, only to knock it over into the concrete. "Well shit," he mumbled, watching the alcohol spill.

Abigail sighed, placing her purse on the bed and slipping off her flip flops. She made her way over to Matt and stood infront of him. She rubbed her forehead sighed.
She bent down and wrapped his arm around her shoulder while she wrapped hers around his waist. "On three we stand, okay. One, two, three." she groaned as she used all of her strength to lift him up. They stumbled a bit, mainly because of Matt.

She flopped him in the big chair that was in the corner. She slid the foot rest over, "Lift." she mumbled. She slid it under his legs and stood back up.
She sat on the bed and looked at him, "I'm sorry for earlier."

---

Zacky bit his tongue, not wanting to have this conversation in the middle of Wal-Mart. He stood at the front and waited for her to return. He was still going to buy it for her, but he didn't feel right about it.
He saw her storming to the front and he followed her, quitely waiting behind her. Before the cashier said the total Zacky had already swiped his card.

The ride back to the hotel was slient and the tension was thick in the air. He was happy to get out of the cab after paying the driver.
Once they got into the room he finally spoke.

"I know it was my mistake. I know we can't raise a kid yet. I don't want to raise one yet, it would end up being fucked up in the head or taken away. But I can't help but wonder what color eyes it would have, would it be a boy or a girl. Would it be sassy like you or shy like me.
"You can't hate me for wondering about these things. And if we need to get an abortion, then we will. I will be right next to you the whole time."

Kristen sighed as she grabbed a plastic cup, going into the bathroom to fill it with water. "I know I can't hate you for imagining what our baby would be like," she said. She sat down at the desk and started opening the package with the pill in it, trying to think of how to say what she wanted to say. "But Zack...I don't know when I'll want to have a baby, or if I even will at all. The idea of being pregnant, it's just...it's terrifying. There are so many things that can go wrong and it changes your body so much...I don't know that I'll feel that way forever, but for now, no babies."

After she got the box open, Kristen popped the pill into her mouth and washed it down with a swallow of water. She grabbed the bag of insulin needles she'd bought and opened the package, pulling one out. She looked up at Zacky. "Where's the heroin? I need some."

---

"M'sorry too, Abi," Matt mumbled. He sighed. "I dunno why ya got s'mad at me, but m'sorry for whatever I did." Matt closed his eyes, feeling his stomach start to churn. It had been a long time since he'd gotten sick from drinking, so he must've had a lot tonight. He pressed his hand into his stomach. "Abi, I dontfeel...s'good," he managed to spit out. He reached for the trashcan, barely getting it in front of his face in time for him to start vomiting.

"Water," Matt said, taking deep breaths as he tried to calm the rolling in his stomach. Soon he felt something being pressed into his hand, and he pulled his face away from the trashcan to chug some of the water.

"Don't worry about it tonight Matt. It's not like you'll even remember it." she mumbled after handing him his water. She went into the bathroom and got two washcloths wet with cold water. She came back out and wiped his face with one before placing the other on the back lf his neck.

She grabbed the trashcan and sat it outside the room before grabbing the one from the bathroom and placed it infront of him.
"Do you need anything else?" She would be lying if seeing him this way didn't hurt her heart. She couldn't help but help him, no matter how mad she was at him.

---

Zacky sighed and grabbed the bag from the table by the bed and handing it to her.
"I agree, no babies now. But, I do hope we have some in the future, once we kick this shit though." He said before joining her. He watched as she turned the powder into a liquid on the spoon before drawing it into her needle. He bit his tounge again as he saw how much she had.
He turned his attention to the desk started making his own needle. He didn't realize that she picked up new needles.
"Um, thanks for the needles." he said, still looking at what he was doing.

Once he had a nice high going he stripped down to his boxers and laid on the bed, watching tv. He started to get sleepy, feeling mentally exhausted.

"You bought them," Kristen mumbled, tossing her used needle into the trashcan. Now that she knew they could buy them at any Walmart, there was no need to reuse them. Kristen thought it was gross, anyway. She went to her bag and dug through it for her cigarettes and a lighter. "I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette," she mumbled, looking over at Zacky.

Kristen knew he would probably be asleep by the time she came back. But she wasn't tired yet, not even with the warmth coursing through her veins. Usually if she was having trouble sleeping, she would drink. But she couldn't now, not when she was using. And besides, it wasn't even remotely late.

---

"I wanna lay down," Matt mumbled. He sat the trashcan aside and carefully moved the footrest. He slowly got to his feet and tried to make his way to the bed, stumbling a few times. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this drunk, but that's what he did when he was angry.

"M'hungry, Abi," Matt said, flopping down on the bed. He turned his head to look at her. "Will you ordersomefood?" he slurred. He didn't know if he'd be able to stay awake to eat it, but he'd started least try. Eating something would help ward off the headache he would have tomorrow.

"Yeah. I'll get you a burger. Sound good?" She said walking over to the phone. She called room service, ordering his food plus a chicken sandwich for herself.
She also added a steak, in case he wanted that too.

She sat on the bed next to him and turned on the tv. She searched though and found South Park. She looked over at Matt and sighed. "You're such a mess," messshe laughed. She had never seen him this drunk before, but she figured he would end up this way at some point. She slid over and cuddled into his chest, "But you're my mess." she whispered.

---

"Uh, I'll come with you." Zacky said snapping awake. He didn't bother with pants, he didn't care if anyone saw his boxers.
He followed her out and sat in one of the patio chairs. "Can you give me one?" he asked holding out his two fingers.

They smoked in slience for awhile watching the sunset and the lights in the city turn on. He looked at her and whispered, "I love you."

"Love you, too," Kristen mumbled. She took a drag from her cigarette and then ashed it. Noticing that she'd smoked it down to the filter, she put it out in the ashtray. She pulled out another one and lit it, needing some more nicotine to counteract the stress she was still feeling.

Suddenly she got to her feet. "I'll be right back," Kristen said to Zacky. She slipped back inside, pulling the curtains shut behind her. She went over to the desk and reached for the bag of heroin. If nicotine helped her stress, wouldn't more heroin help it even more?

---

"Yeah, yeah," Matt mumbled. He closed his eyes, feeling another wave of nausea wash over him. He moved Abigail out of the way as he pitched over the side of the bed, throwing up into the trashcan again. Once he was sure he was done, he laid back down, closing his eyes and trying hard to gain control of his breathing. This was difficult, since it felt a little like he was trying to breathe through a straw.

"Abi, I still dunfeelgood," Matt slurred. He looked over at her, furrowing his brows. He really felt like he wasn't in his own body right now, it was weird. "Are we in a hotel?"

Abigail furrowed her eyebrows together and looked at Matt.
"I don't think you're alright." She said before getting up. She took a minute to look around the room and noticed multiple empty bottles.
"You drank all of these?" she asked dumbfounded. "Fucking hell Matthew." She rushed over to the phone and dialed 911.
From the looks of it, she knew he had way to much, more than his body knew what to do with. She was scared that if something serious were to happen to him, she wouldn't be able to cope with it.

---

Zacky sighed and leaned back in his chair after Kristen went inside. With the way she spoke made him feel like she was still mad at him. He didn't know what else to do but give her space.
He grabbed her pack off of the table and pulled out another cigarette. He didn't see her lighter so he headed inside to grab one. He noticed she pulled the curtain shut, which confused him. He pushed it aside and saw her with another needle in her arm. He felt like he should say something, but kept his mouth shut.

He found his lighter in his pants and went back out, sitting back down and lit his cigarette. He started to worry that she made too much, that she was going to overdose. She's a big girl. he thought to himself.

Once Kristen was done, she tossed her needle in the trash and went back outside, taking care not to burn Zacky with her still lit cigarette as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'm sorry about earlier," she whispered. "I love you, I really do." She kissed him again before moving to sit in the chair next to him.

"So what should we do with the rest of our night?" Kristen asked, taking a drag from her cigarette. "The night's still young, so don't you fucking dare say go to bed."

---

"Whoareyoucalling," Matt mumbled, seeing Abigail talking on the phone. "Abi, m'fine. I just need t'sleep it off like I always do." Matt had never been this drunk before, but with how much he usually put back, it was bound to happen before long.

"I just wanna eat, Abi," Matt said softly. He knew she'd ordered food and that's all he wanted. That, and to sleep. "When's the...food gonna behere?"

"Too late. You don't seem fine Matt. I may still be mad at you, but I still care and I'm not going to let anything happen to you." She said as she held the phone between her shoulder and ear, in the middle of talking to dispatch.

"Probably after the paramedics get here. If they think you are fine then you can eat, if not then oh well. Don't you fucking care if you are having alcohol poisoning?" She knew the answer to that question, but figured she would ask.

---

"I love you too. It's alright, I'm sorry too." he said smiling at her when she kissed his cheek. He looked over at her when she sat down.
"I'm not sure. Do you want to go out? A club and dinner? Sleep does sound nice, but I won't for you."

"Let's go to dinner," Kristen said, smiling. "I'm kinda hungry and I'm sure there are some good restaurants around here for us to try. Ooh!" Kristen suddenly exclaimed. "I think I remember passing a hibachi place downtown. We should go there."

Kristen put out her cigarette and went inside, going over to her bag to pull out some clothes and her makeup. "I've just gotta get ready."

---

Abigail's words caught Matt's attention. Alcohol poisoning? There was no way. He was practically an alcoholic, he couldn't have alcohol poisoning. "I dun have...alcohol poisoning," Matt mumbled. "I just need t'sleep, Abi. And food, Goddammit."

Abigail ignored him for a minute to end the call before turning towards Matt, her hands on her hips.
"Oh, that's right, you can't because your a fucking alcoholic right? So you think you're indestructible, yeah? I'm sorry, but you're a fucking idiot if you think that Matthew." She sighed and sat on the bed next to him, looking at her feet.

"For my peace of mind, just get checked. They should be here any minute. I'm just worried, okay?"

---

"I'll make a reservation." He smiled at her before she disappeared. He finished his cigarette and went inside. He grabbed some clean clothes before walking into the bathroom where Kristen was doing her makeup.
"Sorry, " he said before slipping into the shower.

Once he was ready he sat himself in front of the desk where the heroin supplies were still laid out. He shurgged to himself before making a needle.

"I don't think you need to make a reservation, silly," Kristen said to Zacky. She quickly did her makeup while Zacky was in the shower, running her fingers through her hair with a frown. It was such a mess and she didn't have time to do anything nice with it. She dug around in her toiletries bag and found a rubber band, pulling her hair up into a messy bun.

"Okay, I'm ready!" Kristen announced, going back out into the room. She grabbed her shoulder bag and stashed the heroin and supplies inside. She didn't really like the idea of leaving it unattended in the hotel room. She looked at Zacky. "Did you take more?"

---

"I'm not a fucking alcoholic!" Matt shouted. It was the first really tangible sentence he'd said all evening. Deep down he knew it was true, and hearing Abigail say it out loud made it feel so real, but he would still deny it. "But if...it'll make you feelbetter, I'll go t'thehospital."

The paramedics arrived a few minutes later and strapped Matt to a gurney. They placed an oxygen mask onto his face and he was grateful, since he could still barely breathe. "Abigail, you have t'come...withme," Matt mumbled, reaching out to her.