Confess on My Wayward Son

I got another one of those dresses. That makes three. I may or may not have a problem...
They're pretty and I really like wearing them but I honestly feel like everyone sees me as a beached whale when I wear them ever since I saw that full body profile shot of me in one last year.

Yay, I managed to get top post with that drivel.

This is an actual legit confession because it's pretty terrible but I actually have always imagined being in a car accident. I don't know why, but I just wanted to know what it's like and now I fuckin' do. Granted, I did not want it to be my fault (whoops) and thankfully no one got hurt.

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You care about me so much, there's so much indication of it, yet I don't understand why you can be so confused about your feelings. What's so difficult about it?

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I don't know why I'm feeling this, but I'm reminiscing about summer and I wanna know what you're up to. I miss you. Not even in like that kinda way, cuz hello still healing, but just in a friend/companionship way. You were important to me too.

I think I'm the only nursing student on the planet who thinks that pharmacology is easy.

@ The God of Mischief.
The only part of pharm I find hard is memorizing all of it

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I feel so helpless when I'm away from you and almost even more helpless when I'm here. Because I can see you sitting there in pain and watch you have seizures and wake up to you never having gone to sleep and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. At least when I'm 6 hours away I feel helpless because I'm too far away to help. This is so much worse.

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Someone has been trying to poison my dog.
Wish I could say how I really feel about that.

I don't want to go to the dentist, but hey ho. || Stop asking me for fucking money, I'm not your cigarette fund.

I'm so alone.

It feels good to get it all out. Now i need go play some video games... a horror game sounds lovely about now.

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I used to lie to my parents and say that I slept over at my friend's house whenever I was with you. Now that I actually am doing that tomorrow, it's just reminding me of us and how I used to see you every single Saturday, and now I'm never doing that again. Being so alone today also made me realize how important you made me feel, like I actually meant something to someone. Now I have no one.

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I think I'm starting to realize that "I don't know" actually meant "No" but you really wanted it to be "Yes."

Guess I should completely eliminate that possibility from my mind so I don't get my hopes crushed. Again.

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Yep, I'm definitely doing it tonight.

I keep telling myself I don't know why I went in today, but the answer really was extra money. Deffo not worth how I felt in the end.

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I made a thing from the photo you shared. I thought about sharing it with you. I've always wanted to share my art, but I guess ... I worry that I'll just be waving it around unsolicited.

I feel like crawling under a rock. I hate this crippling anxiety.

GOD, the busiest two weeks of my life in so long and i'm exhausted jfc

I keep going deeper and I'm just hoping I'll eventually hit an artery.

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I hate young drunk people.
I perma banned 7 people tonight, all people I know well.
But I feel nothing for them. You fucked up, You pay for it.
You also, don't run at me and expect to NOT get clotheslined. I kicked you out, you are O.U.T

I just don't want you to think of me as someone I'm not, that's why I'm so insecure. But I need to remember that you love me.

I don't know why I can't say the things that really bother me to your face. Especially when I'm not sober. I'm always saying sorry and you're always saying it's fine...but it's not. Idk what it is about you. I'm so confrontational and assertive until it comes to you. This is so temporary and with each fleeting week, I'm worrying a little more cause then when it's over...it's really over.

I ate too much today and i took a nap which didn't help me any.... -_-"

Oh. The fat.