Misery Business

@ JesterOfGenocide;
Emily sighed softly, she walke dher friend to the bus stop, she wished she could do something, but she couldn't. When they got there she gave her a hug and smiled meekly again. "I love you Zoe, callme if you need anything." She said and kissed her head. Emily did that a lot, manly because she felt that it defined her as Zoey's protector, and she felt the need to always protect zoey. She made sure to stay until the bus arrived before walking to her partment. Emily locked herself in her house befor completely collapsing in on herself, she had major depression. And at this point in time, it was getting worse for her, she hated herself so much because she couldn't always be strong, and she broke when she was "losing" zoey, and zoey was the only one who could make this better. Emily went off into her room and just sobbed. She knew it was a bad idea but she went off into the bathroom,looking for her razor.

Derrick glanced up when he heard Zoey enter his room, he had been playing a video game. "Hi." He responded before turning his attention back to the game, he wasn't in as bad of a mood as he could have been, so instead of ignoring her he finished the game and turned it off. He glanced over at Zoey and put and arm around her, kissing her gently. "I'm glad you're staying over tonight." He commented.

@ BadStreetBoys
Zoey smiled and said, "Call me if YOU need anything. Just because i'll be with him does not mean that you can't call if you need anything. You know that." She whispered in her ear before smiling feeling her kiss her head. She waved getting onto the bus. She saw Derrick look up and gave him a smile "Hey." She told him. She walked over sitting down beside him sending a quick text to Emily that she had made it to Derrick's and that she loved her and to text her if she needed anything. She then put her phone face down on the night stand. She turned back to Derrick and smiled cuddling into him and kissed him back. "I am too. I'm super tired though." She gave a gentle yawn looking up at him. "How was your night thus far?" She asked him with a smiled, pushing away her hair from her face, and taking her jacket off knowing there were no prying eyes to ask about her bruises. She didn't like them, but she was getting hot from being in the jacket all damn day.

@ JesterOfGenocide;
Emily sat somberly on her toilet as her fingers fumbled on an old razor. She knew her best friend loved her, but the boy was taking her away. That boy also was doing something to her Emily, she didn't know what, but she knew something was up. Emily hadn't been okay for a while, and the only person who was even close to knowing anything about it was her best friend. But even Zoe didn't know when Emily had relapsed, she was too good at hiding it.

Derrick wrapped his arms around Zoe and grinned down at her. "I'm tired too babe." He mumbled and kissed her deeply. "I'm fine with just going to sleep right now, I've got practice tomorrow, so I should be rested." Derrick was much calmer and in a better mood. He got up and stripped to his boxers before climbing back into bed with Zoe. "How was your afternoon? He asked bitterly, holding the covers over them, a possessive arm holding her abit tighter as he mentioned Emily. He basically seethed with rage whenever he talked to or about Emily, he knew if anything happened with him and Zoe it would be her fault, and he'd fucking kill her.

@ BadStreetBoys
Zoey smiled feeling him wrapping his arms around her and snuggled into him, sighing and breathing in his scent. She kissed him back after hearing him and nodding, "I'll probably hang out with Emily then, since you'll be at practice." She told him chuckling and kissed him again. "It was great. I loved it so much." She told him before stripping and putting one of his shirts that was far too big for her before crawling into the bed beside him and curling up into his side. She felt his arm around her and murmured, "I love you two, so much." She let her head rest on his chest and kissed his cheek softly and just relaxed against him. She adored snuggling him and he seemed to want to take care of her except when she said the wrong thing. "I wish you two would be friends. There's nothing wrong with her and with you." She told him. "You guys make me happy." She smiled again. "We should all hang out sometime, Derrick." She looked up at him finally and waited for his reaction.

@ JesterOfGenocide;
Derrick let her rest against him easily, relaxing slightly as he glanced down to hear her talk. "Shut up." He said soberly, raising an eyebrow at Zoey. He hated when she talked about Emily, it ignited a fire in him he couldn't put out. He set his jaw and frowned as he watched her slip into his own clothes and didn't really move much when she went back to cuddling him. "I said, shut up." He repeated, his body tensing up, d,an he hated her. "I fucking hate that dyke now shut the fuck up abaout her!" He yelled angrily, shoving Zoey away from him before getting up quickly and pushing a book off his side table and walking out into the hallway, he paced for a minute before coming back into the room. "Are you going to shut the fuck up? Like fuck you'd think you were dating her and not me. Emily this, Emily that. Why do you even like her? She's poor, she's nothing but a bitch to me, she's fucking obsessed with you!" He screamed and threw something across the room at Zoey.

Emily had relapsed, again, it wasn't new for her. She started a cold bath, not able to afford oil this month. And climbed into it. She let the crimson blood seep into the water, turning it a pale red, almost dull pink color, before washing off her body and getting up to go to her room. She knew she'd end it one day. One day. And she would just know when. Emily wrapped her arms in gauze before she climbed into bed. She sent zoey a goodnight text, curling under her sheet, shaking, crying, just wishing her life had been better. She could act as tough as she wanted on the outside but on the inside she was scare, sad, she was broken.

Zoey hadn't noticed his anger rising and hadn't mean to upset him and looked up hearing him. She winced feeling him shove her and blinked looking up at him before moving back and waited for him to come back having gotten up from the bed. "She's my friend! That's what you do with friends you talk about them Derrick! She may be poor but she's one of the best people i've ever known. Just because she's gay doesn't mean anything. You know for a fact I love you and don't feel that way towards her." She saw something coming flying towards her and didn't react fast enough. The wind got knocked out of her as the object collided with her nose and sent her to the ground. Blood soon began to soak into the floor and she winced and groaned and sat up feeling tears falling down her face. She sobbed and grabbed her phone. "I'm going back to my house." She said walking towards the door feeling the blood just oozing down her face and down her lips and chin. There was no way she was going to back to her house, she would just find some street to sleep on. She couldn't go to Emily because she'd kill him.

@ BadStreetBoys

@ JesterOfGenocide;
Derrick just growled lowly at Zoey as she spoke, h moved over to her and just towered over as he looked down at her. "Great you got blood on my carpet." He snarled and rolled his eyes. His fists were clenched and he watched her as she got up and went to leave. "Fine, don't fucking come back then, fucking go. You need me more than I need you. Go have fun with your fag!" He screame before slamming and locking his doors behind her. Derrick was pissed. He moved into the bathroom in his bedroom and grabbed some bleach for the carpet and poured it onto the soon setting stain. He mumbled angrily before turning his phone off and deciding to go to sleep.

Emily was waiting for a response, she knew it was only 915 and Zoey would still be up, even with Derrick. She knew she also would always send a goodnight message, no matter what. It was their thing. Even if they fought or anything, they always said good night. She sat up and grabbed her phone worriedly. "Hey Zoe, call me soon please, I need you. I love you." She sent and bit her lip.

Zoey frowned hearing him and shook her head. She watched as he clenched his fists. "Goodnight, Derrick." She whispered before grabbing her purse and opening the door and going into the hallway before grabbing some tissues and closing the front door. She ran into the street and started to sob before she stopped and checked her phone seeing Emily had texted her. She called her and said, "Hey, I'm sorry. Derrcik was talking to me." She lied softly, managing to make her voice steady. "What's wrong hun?" She asked her frowning into the phone, and managing to soak up the blood with the tissues. She thought her nose was broken, but she couldn't afford to go to the hospital. She put Emily on speaker phone and sent Derrick a text, hoping it woke him up saying she was going to the hospital because she nose was broken. "I left Derrick's. We got into a fight. I'm actually headed to the hospital because I fell and I broke my nose." She told her friend heading towards the hospital hoping it was just strained or something.

@ BadStreetBoys

@ JesterOfGenocide;
Emily was relieved to see Zoey's name pop up on the screen. She's swallowed hard and masked her pain quickly when answering. She put on the calm and collected persona she always had. "Hey you. It's okay. I'm just having a bad night, jus unhappy I guess. Bad thoughts and all, the usual shit." She never got into any detail with Zoey, she didn't want to worry her. She just told her she was sad and had bad thoughts and felt the rest to her imaginations. "No, don't do that's, hospitals are expensive, come here I can't take care of it." She cooed softly to her friend. Now that she said the words fight, and injury together. Emily was sure something was up. But she had to see to be sure. She knew zoey wasn't dumb and hospitals were expensive, it just mattered how much she trusted her. She hoped she'd come and let Emily take care of her. "I've learned the cheapest ways of dealing with things successfully growing up on ten dollars a month, it'll work just as good and save you a couple hundred,"

Derrick had turned his phone off, still raging, he would probably avoid Zoey altogether tomorrow, even more so if Emily was around. He worried zoey would tell her, if she did, it would be over, he'd had to kill one of them.

Zoey frowned hearing her and said, "That's no good. Bad thoughts, go away! Evil begone!" She said into the phone, waving her hands in front of her as she spoke. She heard her and murmured, "Don't do anything bad, Em, please. You're amazing and I would be so lost without you." She told him seriously and sighed hearing her and nodded having not seen Derrick respond, "Alright, dear." She told her and continued, "I'm on my way to your place. I don't want to go home." She murmured knowing she knew what she meant and said, "The way I broke it is hilarious though, I fucking missed a step on the stairs and went face first into some concrete." She told her giggling a little and then wincing at the pain. She wasn't going to talk to Derrick until he apologized. She was in a world of pain right now. She laughed hearing her and said, "I trust you more than a creepy doctor anyways." She hung up once she was at her place and walked in not even knocking and sighed holding the tissue to her nose. "I'm so clumsy." She muttered shaking her head. "And If I sleep over, I don't care what you say, you are not sleeping on the floor, I can just sleep on the couch, and you can sleep in your bed." She chided her not letting her let anything by.

@ BadStreetBoys

@ JesterOfGenocide;
Emily giggled softly at her friends comments. She was always so positive and cheery, it made her sad when Zoey wasn't like that, it was also how she knew something wasn't up. She let her tell the story of how she broke it, but she didn't believe a word of it. Before Zoey got to the apartment, she put on long sleeve pajamas, hiding her own fate, and then waited for her arrival. When she showed up, Emily quickly went to the door and gently embrace her friend. "If you say so, and no I don't want you on that snotty couch. Either we share my bed, or I get the couch, because I won't let you sleep on it. It's old and springy." She countered quickly. Emily took Zoey's hand and let her to the kitchen, pulling a chair up. "Sit." She ordered and grabbed her make shift first aid kit. First Emily cleaned off her face, getting rid of the dried blood and such. She, as gently as she could, prodded it to see how it was broken. She could tell it was almost instantly. Emily handed her two cotton balls, "put those up your nose." She said and put some neosporin on each. "So this is gonna hurt. A little. But. I gotta do it." She said, and before she gave her time to respond Emily quickly reach out and snapped it back into place. "Sorry better to get it over with quickly." Em said and shrugged. Emily grabbedma bag of frozen peas from the freezer and handed them to zoey. "Keep this on for half hour, then off half hour, I'll put the, back in the freezer for tha time, and back on once more before we go to bed." She said and smiled, taking her handagain before leading her friend to the living room. "So, Zoe. You know I love you, and you know I'm not dumb. What really happened?"

Zoey made a face over the phone hearing her words, knowing she didn't believe her and knew for a fact she would need to convince her. She popped her back gently before looking up and hugging her back tightly and sighed hearing her, "Fine, we can share a bed but you are so not sleeping on the couch either and I'll have you know that that couch was my best friend two months ago when we were drunk!" She giggled a little before followed her into the kitchen. She sat down and winced as she felt her clean off her face. She put the cotton balls up her nose and blinked hearing her, "Wha-" She was cut off when she felt her do so and screamed and winced feeling tears fall down her face, "Oh my god." She gasped and felt the tears falling and hissed in pain and said, "So that's still nothing compared to when I fell down some stairs and broke my collar bone when I was 10." She told her. "Granted, it would have been lovely to have a moment to brace myself." She laughed and blinked hearing her and nodded, "Okay, but I don't know how I feel about peas being on my face." She teased her and let them fall on her nose and sighed softly and smiled following her into the living room. She heard her and blinked, "I'm offended, Em. I wasn't lying." She frowned making herself flush as if she were upset and met her eyes making sure she did all the things she did when she wasn't lying. She even squeezed her hand to make sure she believed her. "I was in such a rush after leaving Derrick's after we fought, that I skipped a step and fell down them and my face hit the concrete. That's why my cheeks are scraped too." She told her.

@ BadStreetBoys

@ JesterOfGenocide;
"Am I gonna have to fight my own couch for your affection?" She teased and grinned at her best friend. "Bracing yourself makes it worse, trust me." Emily kissed the top of her best friends head. Emily grabbed a few tissues, wiping the tears away. Emily looked down at Zoey and raised an eyebrow, sad eyes she shook her head. "Zoe, I'm not dumb, I may not be book smart, but I'm street smart. And that kinda break doesn't happen from falling. Something hit you, with adeal of force because breaking a nose ain't easy." She said and sat down, pulling zoey towards her, and nearly into her lap. "Zoe I love you. Please don't hide from me. I'm your best friend. No matter what I'm here for you, forever and a day, that's us." She said, squeezing her best friends hand back, she wanted to show her she had nothing to hide. Emily knew it was Derrick she swallowed hard at the thought, she didn't know what she'd do if zoey kept hiding it. She knew it, why hide it. It made her so angry that he did this. She hid things from Zoey, but that was for both of their safety. And that was different. Zoey hid things because she liked that piece of shit. And Emily wouldn't deal with him hurting her.

Zoey laughed hearing her, "Of course not. You come first in the couch relationship, alright. He just knows some shit about me alright." She giggled hearing her and sighed nodding, "You would know." She told her gently and almost sadly and smiled feeling her kiss her head and wipe her tears away. She blinked hearing her, and frowned furrowing her brow, "I know what you're thinking and it wasn't Derrick." Sher told her. "I promise you." She grabbed her hand. She looked her in the eyes before hugging her tightly. She would never tell her the truth until she wound up in a hospital bed and that would be the only time. She kissed her cheek gently and noticed her wrists and gasped taking them in her hands and kissing them like she always did and feeling the tears swell to her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her tightly and running her hands through her hair. "Please don't." She whispered to her. "I can't do this without you."She felt her tears running down her face and just hugged her tightly. "You're so beautiful and too amazing for those scars to run your life." She murmured in her ear.

@ BadStreetBoys

@ JesterOfGenocide;
Emily sighed softly and nodded sadly when she said it wasn't Derrick. "If you say so." She said somberly. Emily was so worried about her best friend, she couldn't lose her. She was what kept her going in this shitty world. And she couldn't lose that. She'd kill him. When Zoey looked at her wrists, Emily pulled away in a tense, almost awkward fashion. She didn't like facing her own problems, especially not with Zoe around. She slid out for, the hug and stood up, taking a few steps away. "I'm sorry. I gotta go to the bathroom." She said and slipped away into the bathroom. She took a few deep breaths and looked at herself in the mirror. "Fuck." She whispered quietly. She hated this. Hated hiding this form her best friend, but her emotions always got the best of her. She could feel them welling up inside, and gripped the edge of her sink tightly. She couldn't do this, not with Zoey here. She knew she was going to lose her mind, and she didn't want this to be the second time someone hurt zoey tonight. She let out a deep sob, but contained it to the bathroom so not to draw too much attention.

Zoey smiled softly hearing her words and whispered, "Thank you." She kissed her head again. She felt her slide out of the hug and gasped watching her. She frowned and got up after a few minutes and opened the door to the bathroom. She looked at Emily and murmured, "I know it's hard, but please Em, tell me what's going on. I'm not going to push you away. I'll never leave you. I'm here. Forever and always." She told her before grabbing her hands gently. "Let me in." She whispered letting her forehead fall onto hers and sniffled. "You need to let someone in, even if it's not me." She murmured to her before wrapping her in her arms, not letting go for anything. "Your emotions mean the world to me, as well as you do." She told her gently before letting go. "I"ll be in the living room if you need me, or just want me." She told her pushing her hair back from her face to touch her cheek. She then stood and walked back into the living room and sat down hoping she would come out. She hated her being alone. It made her skin crawl. She should never be alone and should never have to be.

@ BadStreetBoys

@ JesterOfGenocide;
Emily just stood against the sink, head down and shaking her head. She let out a groan when the door opened, and looked at Zoe. She sea.lowe hard and stepped back. "Stop." She said quietly, almost inaudible. Emily couldn't handle the sappy irony now. "Zoe, I can't let you in. You wouldn't understand." She said. Her voice raising as she stepped away again, shaking her head and Avoiding eye contact. She wasn't okay and she was losing it. "You'll never fucking understand. I work my ass off, every day, ight and fucking day. I work harder than anyone else in our entire school just to scrape by. Some weeks I can't afford pads, or food, or a fucking necessity to live because I can't work enough. I make shit for money. I was disowned, DISOWNED because I love other girls. I have done everything I ever could for you, I, always there, always spending my little extra money on you because I fucking love you and want you to be happy and I can't tell what's even going on with you. I guess we're even though, hun? Because I never fucking let you know about." She paused and slid her sleeves up, then tore the gaze off revealing the fresh wounds in full. "This, this shit doesn't stop. I hate myself and I want to die constantly. The only thing keeping me going is you. And if I fucking lost you?" She stormed for. The room and disappeared before coming back with a revolver. "This was the only thing I got from my family. A fun with one fucking bullet Zoey. I've been saving it because I know I wanna die by my own hands one da, I ain't letting no fucking surprises take me. But if I lost you. If I lost you Zoe, I'd do it right now." Emily had tears streaming down her face, and she had been screaming her words. She just couldn't calm down. She didn't know what was wrong and what was right anymore.

Zoey head her and looked at her and sighed shaking her head hearing her say she wouldn't understand. "Doesn't mean I wouldn't be there. No one can understand anything." She whispered softly and blinked hearing her starting to scream and felt the tears fall down her face -- not from her friend yelling at her -- no from hearing her say these things that make her friend so upset. She saw her came back with the revolver and gasped grasping it in her hands and taking it away from her. "No!" She breathed. She felt the tears falling and whispered, "I know. I fucking know. I never say anything because you never wanted me to know! You think I never noticed the fact that you're always so soft spoken? You think I never notice the fact that sometimes you don't take a shower just to keep your bill down? You're fucking wrong, Emily! I notice everything nad don't say a word because I know it will just make you feel worse! You're right, I don't know what it is like to fucking work day in and day out and I'm so sorry for that, honey. I really am, but don't you ever consider fucking killing yourself! I will murder you in the afterlife after I come after you! Because if you think for a second I could survive here without you, you're fucking wrong. There's nothing wrong for loving girls and there is nothing wrong with you Emily!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs at her best friend just wanting her to understand. She took the razor and cut her wrists on either side and said, "This is what it feels like seeing you constantly in pain every fucking day and not letting me help Em." She whispered before letting her head fall as she stared at the ground tears falling from her eyes, "I love you, Emily." She was sobbing at this point and couldn't control it.

@ BadStreetBoys

@ JesterOfGenocide;
Emily didn't even care when Zoey took her gun, the safety was on, she knew it wouldn't do a thing. But she couldn't take her friend hurting herself. She grabbed the bloody razor, tossing it in the trash besides them. "Don't fucking do that!" She shouted, her voice quivering. Emily looked at Zoey and quickly embraced her, holding her best friend close to her body. She pulled her down, and sat up against the tub so that she could pull her into her own lap, holding zoey, she buried her face in Zoey's head and sobbed. "I love you too. I love you so much." She said, voice muffled by her hair. She didn't speak again for a while, holding zoey close, she eventually calmed down. It seemed nearly an hour later, but she didn't care. She pulled awa a bit and looked down at her friend. "Were a fucking mess you know." She said and laughed, shaking her head. "We need to wash up. Do you wanna shower first?" She offered quietly, biting her lip as she wiped a stray tear from Zoey's face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything, I know I shouldn't hide from you. We aren't dumb, we read each other like books." Emily said and took some deep breaths. "I promise not to hide from you if you don't hide from me."

Zoey felt her grab the razor and chuck it and zhe said, "That's how I fucking feel when you do it!" She shouted back hearing her friend's voice quivering. She couldn't help the tears falling from her eyes as she continued to sob not being able to deal with the thought of not haivng Emily here beside her. She knew no one else understood and she was okay with that. No one else had to fucking understand. She felt herself pulle dinto her lap and mumbled, "I love you too you asshole." She sniffled and calmed down to the point of just small tears falling from her face as she stared into oblivion. Feeling Emily shift, she looked up at her and laughed hearing her and said, "Being a mess is what we do best dammit." She told her and blinked hearing and said, "Sure, I'll be quick, mainly so it doesn't hurt my nose." She told her and smiled at her and nodded and said, "It's okay, I am too." She murmured and kissed her head and held her closely before standing up. "Promise." She murmured holding out her pinkie finger.