Pick Up the Pieces !

Madelyn's shoulders sagged a bit when Matt's demeanor seemed to change after her suggestion. She hung her head, turning away from him as she felt her stomach turn. Her lips parted as she readied herself to just tell him to forget about it. She could always just go take a bath and relax, or at least relax as much as she could. She cleared her throat, giving a shrug of her shoulders after a moment. "Yeah, we could do that. In a-" she started to say she didn't care what they did but she realized that Matt probably didn't want to do it. Smoothing down the material of her shirt, Madelyn glanced toward the television. "You pick. I don't care what we watch."

Madelyn was more than willing to cozy up to Matt, burying her face into his chest. She inhaled slowly, wrapping an arm around Matt's torso. Just being in his arms was enough for her; she honestly would be okay just staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night and she'd be perfectly content. "I miss this, Mattie," she mumbled, her cheeks flushing at the admission. "Sometimes I wish we could just get away for a few days. Just you and me.." she shrugged, wrapping her fingers into the material of his shirt. "What do you think?"

Matt huffed softly again when Madelyn told him he should choose what they watched. This was her idea, she should be the one choosing. He likely wouldn't be paying much attention to the television, anyway. Keeping his arm slung over Madelyn's shoulders, Matt reached forward to grab the remote, clicking on the first thing he found even remotely interesting. He felt Madelyn cuddle up close to him and when her arm went around his torso, he couldn't help but stiffen a little bit and not in a good way. He didn't know why having his wife close to him - something that used to make him so happy - now made him feel so anxious. Maybe it was because he felt a little suffocated or even a little trapped.

At Madelyn's admission, Matt could only let out a sort of hum. He wished he could say he missed this as well but he just...didn't. He knew he should and he wanted to but it was like the person he was before was just gone. When Madelyn suggested a little trip for the two of them, Matt bit his lip to keep from speaking immediately. The only place he felt even close to comfortable was his own home, unless he was out doing a job for Mark. But God, there was a small part of him that still wanted to make Madelyn happy because he did still love her. "We can do that," Matt finally said. "Maybe Big Bear or something. You can work everything out and let me know."

Madelyn's brows pulled together when she felt Matt tense against her. Her arm lingered across his torso for a moment before she pulled her arm back to her chest, sort of wrapping her arms around herself. She was a bit put off, wanting nothing more than to wrap herself in his arms but it seemed like fi she pushed too much, it would end up pushing Matt too far and that was the last damn thing that she wanted. When she was finally getting a moment to have Matt in an even remotely okay mood, Madelyn wanted to soak up everything that she possibly could.

"Okay," Madelyn was happily agreeing, nodding as she leaned up to press a tentative kiss to his cheek before she settled back down against his chest. "I'll try to plan for about a month from now. Just a long weekend... and when we get into Big Bear, I'll stop by the store to grab a few supplies. That way we don't even have to leave the cabin. It'll just be me and you, all weekend long," she murmured, hoping that if it was just the two of them, that Matt might warm up to the idea a bit more than he seemed to be.

"Sounds like a plan," Matt said, trying to force himself to sound excited. He might be completely dreading the idea of going away for the weekend but the least he could do was let Madelyn think he was looking forward to it. And hell, who knew, maybe a little time away from this house and the boys would help him. Sometimes Matt was sure that being here, where he had memories with his brother, only made things worse. And as much as he loved River and Cash, they were both too young to understand the nuances of what Matt had gone through and sometimes they were too overwhelming for Matt to handle.

Matt turned his gaze back to the television but he was only partially paying attention. When the show he'd selected ended, he passed the remote over to Madelyn. She could choose something now. It wasn't like he was watching it, anyway. "Put on a movie or something, I'm going to go grab a beer," Matt mumbled. He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before he pushed to his feet, shuffling into the kitchen. He snatched a beer from the fridge, popping the top off and taking a swig before he returned to the living room. He took in Madelyn sitting on the couch, seeing how hopeful she seemed now that he'd agreed to the trip, and he bit back a sigh. No matter what had happened to him, he would always love Madelyn and he wanted her to be happy and he hated that he had to lie to her to make it happen.

Dropping onto the couch, Matt forced himself to place his arm around Madelyn's shoulders. "So what are we watching now?"

[I feel like this is awful, I'm sorry ]

Madelyn looked up when Matt tossed the remote at her, giving a nod of her head. She didn't really care one way or another what they watched. So long as she got to sit with Matt and enjoy time with him, that was all that really mattered to her. She smiled a bit, watching as Matt disappeared into the kitchen. Her heart warmed at the image, just happy that Matt was home and safe. She remembered the days where she had been afraid that he would never return to her, and it broke her heart to know that while Matt had returned, his baby brother never would. She knew that weighed heavily on Matt but she hoped that if she could just convince Matt to go speak to someone, that it might be able to help him move on and process that pain. She would bring it up when they were on their trip.

She had picked Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. She knew Matt liked the older movies and she hadn't been able to watch the newest one with him yet because he'd been deployed when it first came out. Madelyn hadn't moved into Matt's side like she would have before because she knew he was still not quite feeling up to affection so when he put an arm around her, Madelyn couldn't help the little pleased noise that sounded from her lips as she pressed into his side.

"The new Jurassic World. I thought you'd like to watch it since we finally have the chance to just sit down together," Madelyn explained. She resisted the urge to wrap her arm around Matt's middle, not wanting to push Matt too far. "I mean, if you want to change it you can. Doesn't really matter too much to me, I'm just enjoying spending time with you. That's all that really matters to me, you know."

"Jurassic World sounds good," Matt said. He'd always liked the older Jurassic Park movies and had been looking forward to seeing the new ones. But with him being deployed when the movie hit theaters and then not caring much about, well, anything, he hadn't had a chance to see it. The little noise that Madelyn made when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder made Matt feel a little guilty, so he pulled her a bit closer. He knew she was probably starved for this sort of attention and before everything that had happened, he would have been more than willing to give it to her. But now, it almost felt forced and he hated it.

"It is nice to have a little time to ourselves," Matt said a few minutes later. "It's nice to be able to sit down and relax without having someone crawl all over you." By some stretch of a miracle, Matt was actually able to relax enough to watch and enjoy the movie and by the time the movie had finished, he was actually content to stay down here with Madelyn for a bit longer. But he had a suspicion that this might be partially because he didn't want to go upstairs. "Should we watch another movie?" Matt asked, looking over at Madelyn. "Or maybe we should do something else?"

Madelyn wouldn't admit it to anyone but when Matt wrapped his arm around her, she damn near felt like crying. Their lives were always so busy and even when they weren't busy, Matt was disconnected from the world around him. She couldn't blame him at all. He had seen horrors that no one should ever have to witness over seas, he had lost his brother in cold blood. It made Madelyn's heart ache to know everything her husband had been through, knowing that there was nothing that she could do about it. It made her feel like a failure as a wife because if Matt wouldn't even confide in her, what was she?

She had expected that they would retire to their bedroom for the rest of the night after Jurassic World finished but when Matt suggested a movie, Madelyn was quick to nod her head. She was a bit tired herself but if she got to spend some more quality time with Matt, she was more than willing to stay up with him. Madelyn leaned forward, grabbing the remote from the coffee table before she held it out to him. "Here. Put on whatever you want. I'll go grab us some refills. Do you want more popcorn or something else to snack on?" Madelyn asked as she raised to her feet, reaching for their glasses.

Matt knew Madelyn would agree to his idea to stay downstairs for a bit longer. He was sure she was expecting him to want to go to bed after the first movie and honestly, that was what he wanted to do, but he thought that pretending he wanted to stay down here and spend more time with her would make her happy. There was no need for her to be miserable just because he was. Besides, it wasn't like he was going to get a lot of sleep, anyway. He might as well let Madelyn go to bed with a sense of happiness and security, as false as it might be. Matt reluctantly took the remote as it was passed to him, feeling the cold weight of the plastic as he looked up at his wife. He remembered a time when looking at Madelyn would spark butterflies in his stomach, or a surge of lust, or even the overwhelming sense of adoration he'd felt the first time he'd seen her hold each of the boys. But now he just felt a sour feeling in his stomach, like he should be anywhere but here.

"Just a bag of chips or something is fine, I'm not that hungry," Matt said. As Madelyn headed into the kitchen, he turned his attention to the television, trying to find something for them to watch. Eventually, he settled on something he hoped Madelyn would enjoy watching since he really care too much either way. When she returned with the snacks and refills, Matt thanked her quietly, handing her back the remote. He offered the remote back to her, slipping his arm back around her shoulders when she sat back down on the couch. "I think after this movie, we should probably head to bed, continue our alone time up there, hmm?" Matt suggested. "What do you think?"

Madelyn was quick to nod her head when Matt suggested that they stay downstairs. She was surprised that he wanted to continue spending quality time with her but she certainly wasn't about to complain about it. Madelyn returned to Matt with a bag of chips tucked under her arm, their refilled glasses in her hand. Madelyn was careful to set them down before she curled back into Matt's side. "That works for me," Madelyn agreed, leaning up long enough to kiss Matt's jaw before she focused on the television.

The movie came to an end earlier than Madelyn would have preferred if she was being honest. She couldn't remember the last time that she had been so wonderfully content. After Cash had been killed, their lives hadn't been the same. She couldn't blame Matt at all and Cash had been like a younger brother. Of course she was torn up about it. Not nearly as much as Matt but it had still taken a toll on her.

Following Matt up the stairs, Madelyn's stomach twisted as she eyed her dresser. She entertained the idea of putting on a piece of lingerie to spice things up but Matt had already done a lot tonight. She didn't want to push him further. Madelyn opted to change into a negligee instead, crawling under the covers as a smile teased her lips. "Hey you," she murmured, eyeing Matt. "Come kiss your wife goodnight."

As Madelyn curled back into his side, Matt let his arm drop over her shoulders. He could tell that the physical contact made her happy and the least he could do was play the part of a caring husband, even if he wanted nothing more than to retreat to the other end of the couch. He munched slowly on his chips as the second movie played, almost praying for time to speed up so it would end and he could go to bed. He never understood why he was always so eager to go to bed, it wasn't like he was going to get much sleep. When the movie finally ended, Matt abandoned his half-empty bag of chips on the coffee table and practically bolted upstairs, slipping into the master bathroom. For a few seconds, he considered a shower, hoping the warm water would help him sleep, but he ultimately decided against it.

As he came out of the bathroom, Matt could see that Madelyn was already in bed but he didn't really pay her any mind until she spoke up. It was then that he noticed exactly what she was wearing and he would be absolutely lying if he said his attention wasn't piqued. "Kiss you goodnight?" Matt repeated. "I would love to." He made his way over to the bed, slipping underneath the covers before he turned to Madelyn, leaning in to press his lips to hers. It was pretty obvious why Madelyn was wearing a negligee, something Matt certainly wouldn't complain about. Of all the ways he could cut down his stress levels, sex was by far his favorite. And tonight, as he had been most nights since his return from his latest deployment, Matt was in no mood to waste any time.

Continuing to kiss her as he did so, Matt rolled Madelyn onto her back, shifting so that he was stretched out over the top of her. It was times like these that Matt realized just how tiny Madelyn was and how easily he could overpower her. Moving away from her lips, Matt started to kiss along Madelyn's jaw, at the same time letting his hands run over her body. One hand dipped between her legs, his thumb brushing aside the fabric of whatever underwear she was wearing before he started to touch her.

Madelyn had truthfully been expecting nothing more than a kiss from Matt. Today had been going so well that she didn't really want to push her luck and end up making Matt uncomfortable by trying to get more out of him. She bit down on her bottom lip as she tilted her head to the side. "Uhhuh. Kiss me," she murmured, reaching out to wrap her fingers into Matt's shirt. She gave a light tug, giggling as Matt's lips pressed against hers. She moaned as she arched into his touch.

Matt was different now, he was less into the foreplay because they ended up having sex. She didn't always care for it but she wanted to feel close to Matt and if that meant doing this his way, she'd happily do it. It would make him happy and it would leave her feeling satisfied, closer to her husband. Matt had gone through so much, the least that Matt deserved was Madelyn to be attentive to his needs. No matter if they changed and didn't necessarily match her own.

"Matt," she breathed his name, letting out a small whimper as Matt's fingers brushed against her core. Madelyn's head dropped back against the pillow as she spread her legs, tugging as Matt's shirt. "Please. I need you."

The reaction Matt received from Madelyn was exactly the one he'd been hoping for and although he wasn't too interested in much foreplay at the moment, it was still nice to know that his touch still affected her the way it had in the earlier days of their relationship. Smirking as Madelyn tugged at his shirt, Matt pulled back to slip it over his head, dropping it on the floor beside the bed. "You need me?" he repeated, moving over her again. He dipped down to kiss her neck, giving the skin a pinch with his teeth every so often as he moved along. "I guess I can be nice and give you what you want, just this once."

He could feel himself growing hard but in the interest of speeding things up, Matt slipped his hand into his boxers, fingers wrapped around his cock as he gave himself a few quick strokes. Pulling away from Madelyn again, he reached into the nightstand, feeling around blindly until he felt the foil packet. Realizing that he would have a hard time pulling off his remaining clothing while he was in bed, Matt got to his feet only long enough to remove his sweatpants and boxers before he crawled back over Madelyn. He picked up the condom from where he'd laid it on her chest, carefully ripping open the packet and rolling it onto himself. Moving between her legs, he kissed her roughly as he lined himself up with her entrance, entering her in one quick thrust.

[I feel like this is the worst thing I've ever written, 'k ]

{you want me to bring up when I played Matt and you played Zacky... }

Madelyn gave a hurried nod of her head, letting out a small whimper as she leaned to press her chest against his. "Matt, please," she whined, kissing along his jaw. She spread her thighs, inviting Matt to touch her. She smirked at his words, raising an eyebrow. "Because I've been good?" She teased lightly, pouting as Matt moved to his feet. She huffed as she looked up to him, reaching up to pull Matt down the moment that he was within reach.

A moan pulled from her lips as Matt pressed into her. Racking her nails down his back. Since they weren't alone in the house, Madelyn knew that she had to be quiet. Clamping her lips shut, Madelyn leaned forward to bury her face in Matt's neck. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, biting at Matt's neck to keep herself quiet. She knew that she would likely leave a bit of a mark in the morning but at the moment, she couldn't find that she cared at all. All she wanted was to enjoy this moment with Matt.

[do not ]

With the boys only just down the hall, Matt knew they would have to be quiet, which was honestly a shame. Hearing Madelyn moan and scream and beg for more was music to his ears. And normally, he would hold back a little to make it a bit easier for her to keep quiet, but this time he wouldn't. He had a bit of frustration to let out and what better way to do it than to fuck Madelyn until she was a trembling mess underneath him? Plus it would be a test to see how well she could keep quiet. He'd intended to give her a bit of time to adjust to him before he really started to fuck her but when he felt her biting his neck, that idea quickly went out the window.

Pulling away from Madelyn, he looked down at her with a smirk before he pulled her up, forcing her into her hands and knees on the bed. "Fuck, I love this view of you, baby," he said, smoothing his hand over Madelyn's ass. He gave it a sharp slap before he moved back up inbetween her legs, entering her again in one sharp thrust. This time there was no adjustment period as he started to fuck her, choosing a rough, fast pace. "God, I'll never get tired of fucking your tight little pussy," he groaned. He looked down at her with a smirk, giving her ass another smack. "Tell me how much you love it when I fuck you," he growled, suddenly reaching down to grab a fistful of her hair. "Tell me how much you love my cock inside you."

{THAT was awful i don't think anything will ever compare }

Madelyn shivered beneath Matt, squeezing her eyes shut as her lips parted. She whined in protest when Matt lifted her up, not wanting this to stop for even a moment of time. She knew that Matt struggled with a lot of things; she didn't always have the husband that she had once married in her arms. But then they were able to do things like this and Madelyn caught glimpses of the man that she loved and.. God the thought was enough to send heat to her core. Madelyn moaned, spreading her thighs a bit more as Matt moved behind her.

"M-Matt. Please. Need you," she whined, pressing back against him. Madelyn pressed her lips together, whimpering as Matt continued to fuck her. In the back of her mind, Madelyn knew she had to be quiet. "You feel so good. S-So," her words were cut off by a low moan, her fingers digging into the sheets beneath her. "Fuck. Please," she whimpered, holding herself up with one hand while the other slid between her thighs. Her thumb pressed against her clit, causing her to cry out. "H-Harder. Matt, fuck. Please," she let out a breathless moan.

Madelyn's whimpering and moaning drove Matt absolutely crazy. He'd always loved watching her shiver and quake and fall apart in front of him, because of him. And now was no exception. "You want me to fuck you harder?" he asked. He smirked as he slowed his movements to almost a complete halt, thrusting into her at a painfully slow pace. This was just as agonizing for him as he was sure it was for her; all he wanted to do was fuck her into their mattress until she was screaming his name over and over like it was the only word she knew. But at the same time, he wanted to hear her beg for him, like the only thing she needed was his cock inside of her.

"I don't really think you do," Matt continued. "You want me to fuck you harder, Madelyn? You want my cock pounding into you until you're seeing stars, screaming my name so loudly your throat cracks while you cum around me? Then tell me." With the hand he still had tangled in her hair, Matt yanked Madelyn up so that her back was pressed against his chest, moving his hand to wrap around her throat. He squeezed, not tightly enough to hurt her, but tightly enough to get his point across. At this point, he just couldn't take it anymore and he started to fuck her again, letting out a low moan as he buried his face into her neck.

He knew Madelyn couldn't really scream with the boys asleep down the hall but he could at least make her want to. That was one thing he missed about their sex life before the boys. Being able to fuck wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted without any interruptions whatsoever.

"Please. Please. I d-" Madelyn's moan was cut short in a whine of frustration as Matt's movements slowed. She squirmed beneath him, trying to encourage him to fuck her the way she needed from him. Sex was beginning to be the only time when she felt a connection to Matt. Any other time, he seemed to be off in his own little world and she didn't want to admit that she could be losing him. The thought was enough to shake her to her core, if she just gave in and allowed it to.

Gasping as she was pulled up, Madelyn shivered as her back pressed against Matt's chest. Her words were cut off as Matt's fingers wrapped around her throat. Her lips parted in a silent cry, her eyes rolling as she squeezed them shut. She reached up, wrapping her fingers around his wrist as he began to fuck her. Arching her back, Madelyn's thoughts shifted until she could only think about the pleasure that Matt was forcing into her.

"Fuck," she managed to croak. Madelyn's head lolled back, resting against Matt's shoulder. Her thighs started to shake and it wasn't long before she spasmed around Matt's cock. The breathe left her lungs in a rush and she was thankful for the hand around her throat; otherwise she was sure she would have woken at least one of the boys.

As soon as he felt Madelyn clenching around his cock, Matt allowed himself to let go as well. He grunted, keeping his grip on her throat as he filled the end of the condom, giving his hips a few final thrusts. Breathing heavily, he dropped his hand from Madelyn's throat, lifting her from his lap so he could pull out of her. He pulled off the condom and tied it off before tossing it over into the trashcan.

"I think I'm gonna take a shower," Matt said. He stretched, feeling his muscles protesting as he did so. He'd left the invitation open on purpose; while he didn't plan on having sex again, especially not in the shower, he thought Madelyn might appreciate the offer. That, and it would save a bit of water. Without waiting for her answer, Matt grabbed a fresh set of clothes and slipped into the master bathroom, tossing the clothes onto the counter. He started the shower, turning the knob to the hottest setting he could stand before stepping inside.

Madelyn gasped for air as Matt's grip loosened on her throat. She shivered, a lazy smirk settling on her features as she looked up to him. She leaned up, watching Matt as he moved off of the bed. She wanted to invite herself into Matt's shower but they seemed to be getting along so well at the moment. Madelyn didn't want to ruin it, after how tense they had been recently. Hesitating for a moment as Matt disappeared into the bathroom, Madelyn pushed the sheets out of her way.

Her grin remained as she stepped into the bathroom. Madelyn stepped up behind Matt and was quick to slide her arms around his waist, leaning against his back. "I love you, Matt," she murmured. She pressed a quick kiss to his shoulder blade before she released her grip on him, stepping aside so that Matt could get into the shower before she followed him.