Our Way of Life

Allie appreciated the fresh air as it hit her face. Walking slowly to the vending machine, Allie put in a dollar and got herself a cherry coke. Putting in another dollar, she got one for Angelina, trying her hardest not to feel frightened of the new situation. But she knew, deep down, it was time to move on. She'd been lingering on Jack and Amy and her family for two years, and it had held her back from so many opportunities and gaining confidence. She was scared to get close to people. Looking at the room in which Dean told them they were in, Allie wondered if going to knock the door and asking to see Sam was strange. Exhaling, she decided against it, going back to where Angelina was waiting.

"I think moving on is a great idea." She said, knowing that Angelina felt guilt. She felt responsible for Allie, and Allie wanted Angelina to be as happy as they were working towards. "Please don't blame yourself, Ang, and don't tell me you're not, cause I know you better." She threw Angelina's can of Coke to her, grinning as she caught it. "It's gonna be difficult, but... two years is enough time to grieve."

@ sakura blues.

Offering Allie a small smile, Angelina settled back on one of the beds and opened her can of drink. Waiting until Allie had fallen asleep, Angelina slipped on her hooded top and quietly left the room. Standing outside the room that Dean and Sam were staying in, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Staring at the television, Sam laughed at something one of the men said and frowned as someone knocked on the door. Glancing over at Dean, he stood up and opened it to find Angelina standing on the other side looking unsure.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Angelina, hey, come in. What's up?" He asked, standing to his feet to greet her. He looked at Sam, feeling hopeful that Angelina felt better than she did earlier. Dean felt so awful for pressing the matter. "Listen, about earlier, I'm - I'm sorry for pressing so hard on the subject."

@ sakura blues.

"It's okay... can we go for a walk or just get out of here for a bit?" Angelina asked, shifting uncomfortably and playing with the sleeves of her baggy hoody.

“Sure,” Dean nodded. “Do you want Sam to go and check on Allie, or should he come along too?” Dean wanted to ensure that Angelina felt as comfortable as she could within their presence, especially as they were going to be hunting together.

@ sakura blues.

"Allie's sleeping, but if he could look in on her for me that would be good," Angelina replied, feeling bad for excluding him and looking at anything but the boy's faces.

Understanding why Angelina wanted to talk to just Dean, Sam nodded in agreement and offered her a smile to show her that he was okay with her decision.

Dean left the motel room, walking at Angelina’s side as an equal rather as a superior. “What’s up?” Dean asked casually, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans nonchalantly.

@ sakura blues.

"I'm fucked up," Angelina mumbled, keeping her gaze on her sleeves and continuing, "My parents were too busy getting drunk to give a shit about me, except for when my dad lost his temper and then I became the centre of attention. College was supposed to be my way out, but I just ended up screwing that up too and I took Allie down with me."

“Then that makes your Dad the asshole, not you.” Dean sounded reassuring and calm, such a huge contrast to how he normally was. “Allie loves and respects you, Ang. I don’t think you should worry about that. Maybe you’re not as much of a fuck up as you think.” Dean just took in the moment to enjoy the cool air of the night and appreciate the fact there was no one around.

@ sakura blues.

"It's my fault that Amy died, I made her go to that stupid party and I called the hunter that told me that he could help... I didn't even question him about what he was doing," Angelina told him, needing someone to tell her that she was a terrible person, "I pulled Allie into this life because I didn't want to do it on my own, she had a witch cast a spell to make her family and friends forget all about her. Then there was me, I didn't need to do that because I didn't have anyone who cared enough to worry or to stop me from going."

Dean stopped walking to look at Angelina, frowning. “No, I’ll tell you what, the demon that possessed Amy? Her death is his fault. Not yours, his.” He spoke firmly. He knew how hunting could break you down, make you more self aware of how selfish you could be sometimes. Dean knew that some decisions he made, regarding his own soul and saving Sam, were damn selfish. But he’d do it all again. “As for Allie, she made that decision. You didn’t force her to do that.” Dean didn’t feel it was a good idea to compromise the situation with Allie — the girls were too close and would protect each other, he didn’t fancy getting slapped.

@ sakura blues.

"Maybe so, but the blame is on me as well... I accepted that a long time ago," Angelina told him, knowing that he was right but unable to accept it, "I just needed you to know, I'll probably end up screwing this up too and Allie will have her life turned upside down again."

Flicking through the channels of the television, Sam sighed as each channel produced nothing of interest and debated starting up his laptop to watch a movie on there. Checking his watch, he glanced over at the room key Angelina had left him and chose to go check on Allie instead.

Dean exhaled and suddenly did the unexpected - he pulled Angelina into a tight hug. “I won’t let you screw it up. This hunt will go fine. And I just wanna... listen, there’s always a place for you and Allie back at our bunker. There’s never going to be a home that you can’t go to,” Dean promised, blinking slowly as he relaxed with Angelina in his arms. “Please don’t blame yourself for this.”

Allie sat at the end of her bed, twisting her ring around her finger. She listened to whatever was on the TV, trying to distract herself. She had been thinking non stop about the conversation she and Angelina had had. Allie still found it difficult, of course she did, but she felt like her own sadness was keeping her in a dark place.

@ sakura blues.

Tensing as Dean pulled her into a hug, Angelina stood frozen for a few seconds and finally allowed herself to relax into his embrace. Not truly believing what he was saying, she took comfort in the fact that she wasn't alone and closed her eyes as memories of Amy rushed into her head.

Leaving the room, Sam stepped out into the cold night air and made his way to Allie's room. Spotting her through the window, Sam could tell that she was lost in thought and knocked on the door.

“You’ve got this,” Dean promised Angelina. “There’s always a home for you with us. I know it’s sudden, but I just... feel like I’ve known you a long time.” He murmured, hugging her even more tightly as she relaxed.

Allie snapped out of her thoughts as she heard a knock on the door. “Uh, come in.” She called, the sun beginning to rise outside as the sky became light.

@ sakura blues.

Hearing Dean's words made something within Angelina's chest loosen and she allowed tears to fall, giving up on trying to act tough. She had seen a lot whilst hunting, kicked demon ass and sent evil back to hell, but she was still just a vulnerable girl underneath that she never wanted anyone to truly see.

Using the key, Sam poked his head around the door and smiled slightly as he entered. "Angelina's gone for a walk with Dean, she looked pretty upset about something and asked me to look in on you. Are you okay?"

Dean silently rubbed Angelina’s back, gently kissing the top of her head. He didn’t want to offer her any words of advice, knowing it was best to just let her emotions out by herself. Instead, in that moment, Dean became an ally, a close friend without even realising. He saw himself in Angelina and that’s what scared and excited him the most.

“Oh,” Allie trailed off. Her hair was in a plait and she looked a little more relaxed than she was earlier. “Come in, if you want.” She offered a bashful smile, leaving the ring around her finger alone as she tried to find the words to tell Sam she was sorry for treating him like garbage.

@ sakura blues.

Grateful for the silence, Angelina gave herself time to calm down and took a deep breath as she reluctantly pulled away from Dean's warmth. Something about his actions told her that this wasn't like him, but she was glad that it was him and not Allie hearing all the doubts she had about herself.

Accepting the invitation, Sam edged further into the room and slid his hands into his pockets as he stood awkwardly at the end of the bed.

"C'mon, let's go get a coffee." Dean smiled. "I could use some caffeine. We should be hitting the road soon so we can fix this demon problem." Waiting for Angelina to recollect herself, Dean walked with her by his side. "Are you sure you're prepared to take on this case? I don't doubt you, I just wanna make sure you'll be okay."

"I don't bite, Sam." Allie smiled, moving over for him to sit with her at the edge of the bed. "Uh, listen, I just..." Allie swallowed the thick lump in her throat. "I want to apologise, for being so distant and just not nice, it was a really shitty thing of me to do." She looked up at the taller man.

@ sakura blues.

"Coffee sounds good," Angelina replied with a small smile, wipe her eyes and falling into step at Dean's side, "I'll be fine, hunting is a distraction from everything else and it gives me some space to vent. Are you going to be okay?"

Smiling at Allie's comment, Sam took a seat on the bed and looked at her as she started talking. "You don't need to apologize to me, I've had worse and besides, you and Angelina seem as though you've been through a lot. If you need to talk, I'm always here to listen and help if I can. I understand that Angelina is the person that you confide in and I would never want to replace her, but sometimes it's good to talk to someone that isn't as close to you."