300 Confessions Way

my ptsd had a flare up. i was having nightmares, sweats, constant panic attacks. thankfully my boyfriend has calmed me down as well as contacting my cpn and making sure that i had enough medication and that everything was in check. just a rough time, but i got through it. i don't go out much, but due to the lock down and not being able to visit my parents, i think it's taken a toll on me. my birthday is next month and i don't see it lifting by then either, so. but my boyfriend said he's gonna try and make my birthday special since we can't go out and celebrate, so that's a nice though.

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my new phone is coming tomorrow. the mister doesn't like that it's a contract phone and just said "i'll pretend you didn't say that", but it's on its way. he isn't stopping me though, he wouldn't do that, but he can always voice his opinion. i need it to make sure i have unlimited ways to contact my family for this time. plus i'm in dire need of a new phone. i'm excited for it to arrive.

edit: ignore.

l

I'm so ready to return to work. This shit is just making me depressed and I can't stand this feeling anymore. My birthday is tomorrow and I'm not even excited for it. Just over it at this point.

A global pandemic and yet I’m finally discovering who I am and who I’ve been denying for so fucking long. Feels good to admit it out loud, even if right now it’s just a small whisper. Hopefully will become a big shout

If you think I’m going to waste any more time being callous and hurt towards you, you’re wrong. I wish you nothing but the best in your life and I’m sorry we couldn’t remain friends!

Apparently dogs and lemons are a hilarious pass time!

Depressions suck and I had a weird and confusing dream the other night. I dreamt that I joined some cult that worshipped a Lady/Goddess who could control sand and something scared me enough in the dream to wake up crying. Also someone in my dream or dreams kept saying, "Wait, we call this the sand server." Like what?? I'm confused.

@ Brittt
Happy Birthday!!! What will make it exciting???

I wish I knew what being happy felt like.

I miss how active Mibba used to be and I'm wondering if we're ever going to see it fixed...

You're so high right now that it's freaking me out. 10/10 will not be letting you do this again and if that means a turf war then so be it.

Woke up feeling dizzy as shit and that dizziness turned into a headache, (sarcastic) yaaayyyyyyy i'm not nauseous so that's good.

I hate college. The end.

my anxiety has been going haywire and freaking out over the simplest things and i honestly hate this. i was doing alright considering, but i knew it shouldn't have lasted long. at least for now i'll just cope with writing away.

wow. holy shit. how long has it been now. i don't know why but every now and then i just. have to log back on. just to see. if this site is still here, if my account is still here. oh.

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so many things have happened so many countless things i don't think i could ever be more than a ghost here i am a completely different person now.

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just checked my profile, the last picture i left on it was from when i was pre-t. i don't even look the same anymore holy shit. i've been on t for almost 3 & 1/2 years now what the fuck! where does the time go!