Cyber Bullying & Online Harrasment

Best Selling Freedom:

Cyber bullying is bad, I know.

But sometimes, I think face to face bullying is worse.

I get pushed around a lot at school. (Well, my old school now) And I've had to put up with the kids saying really nasty stuff to my face.

It was just the two of us when it happened, so it's my word against theirs. Nothing can be done about it. However, if the did it online, there would be proof that it took place, not just my word against theirs.

I think schools spend too much time going on about the dangers of cyber-bullying when the face to face bullying is far worse, and they can't do anything about it, compared to the technology which can be used to track cyber bullies.

Agreed.

The thing about cyber bullying is that you can choose to ignore it but when it comes to confrontational bullying, that's just different.

Teachers never at my school tackle face to face bullying. Girls are just too secretive and word things in such a way that only the person who it's intended is hurt. Then the moment you try to tell them someone is bullying you they take the side of the bully, unless you have written evidence to support your claim.

I know this may sound wrong, but bullying is always going to be there. It's never going to stop, so in some sense, yes we can whine about it and get upset but ultimately the only way to stop bullying is to ignore it or get back at the bully. That came out wrong.

But have you guys ever noticed that bullies get worse when you dob them in? Or that some just get more ruthless when you stand up to them?

As pessimistic as it sounds, it's always going to be there and we just have to learn how to deal with it in our own way. Despite how much it hurts.

However pedophiles on the internet as harassment is just not on. That stuff it just friggin' creepy.

January 2007 - my (now ex) boyfriend moves.

January-June - we talk normally.

Late June-August - He won't let me be. He tried to control my life via phone, Internet, etc. I spent $150 for minutes on my phone. Each text is 10 cents. I didn't call anyone and he texted me so much it was all used up in two weeks.

August - My mother forces me to break up with him and brings the cops in.

September - Cops can't do anything.

December - He comes back to town and follows me. Then he has to go back home.

January 2008-April 2008 - Cyberstalks me again. Cops won't do anything.

Cyberstalking is scarrryyy.

I think the thing about cyber bullying is that it's emotional pain done by somebody you don't really know. That kind of pain never really heals unless you get you go bully people yourself or find out whoever the hell bullied you.

^ ^ I agree.

But also, those kinds of messages that Emily was talking about, a lot of the time it just shows these people are too afraid to say something to your face. Admittedly I'd be incredibly pissed off if somebody actually came up to me and said 'Go die.', but online just proves that they're not as big and bad as they think.

I got cyber bullied by a girl from my school who was two years above me. She kept talking all of this shit about how I better 'watch my back', yet everytime I saw her and she was alone, she'd just glance at me or keep her head down. If she was with her friends, she'd give me an evil glare and then when I'd gotten further down the corridor shout 'Bitch!' or something pathetic like that. I'm two years younger than her and she was too afraid to do anything worse than tell me I was gonna 'get it' on a MySpace message.

I used to get bullied in primary school too. Now people leave me the hell alone because I won't let anybody get away with it again.
I think it's all about standing up for yourself, however hard it may be.

The furthest I've ever come to being cyber-ly bullied was about my age. People wouldn't believe I was twelve and called me a fake. :XD

Norman Bates.:

I used to get bullied in primary school too. Now people leave me the hell alone because I won't let anybody get away with it again.
I think it's all about standing up for yourself, however hard it may be.

V v v v true.

Cyber bullying is really similar to being bullied in real life.

A friend just posted this link and I was really shaken, reading it. (Particularly on the discovery of the troll.) I've never been bullied online - in fact, experiences have been overwhelmingly positive, when I've stayed out of news comment sections - but on top of the disgusting racism in the recount, the level of pursuit and the movement into offline harassment is horrific. Encourages me to lock down all of my online social resources.

pravda.:

A friend just posted this link and I was really shaken, reading it. (Particularly on the discovery of the troll.) I've never been bullied online - in fact, experiences have been overwhelmingly positive, when I've stayed out of news comment sections - but on top of the disgusting racism in the recount, the level of pursuit and the movement into offline harassment is horrific. Encourages me to should lock down all of my online social resources.

I would have honestly handed the kid to the authorities. Those were awful threats and psychological damage took an obvious toll on the guy. I cannot fathom how he could shake the kid's hand after knowing all the did to him and his family. Just... wow.

equivocal:

The thing about cyber bullying is that you can choose to ignore it but when it comes to confrontational bullying, that's just different.

I totally disagree. I have experienced both, and I think the cyberbullying was a lot worse. In school, if somebody made a crude comment at me, most people would be too nervous to back them up. But online, it would get "likes" and comments. And while I can forget the in-person bullying over time, I have to keep all the cyberbullying incidents archived for legal reasons, and knowing they're there and permanent makes me extremely depressed. I think cyberbullying is much more psychologically damaging, at least in my experiences.

@ Double Infinity.
I'm with you. People will track you to other websites to harass you. They will make up fake screen names to harass you. They will post journals about you on other sites that mock and demean you. It's pretty hard to ignore shit like that.

I had the shit bullied out of me in high school, but the bullying I experienced in my 20s on the internet was far worse. And I'm sure most of it was at the hands of fucking children.

@ Double Infinity.
Honestly, I would retract that comment now. I wrote that when I was eighteen and had not experienced cyber-bullying; now, at the age of twenty-two, I completely agree with your point that cyber-bullying is a lot more psychologically damaging than confrontational bullying. It's because it's always there, people can 'like' it and spread these comments, uncensored, throughout the internet, like you wrote; and you're constantly reminded of it because it's permanent. Also, it's hard to get away from cyber-bullying without isolating yourself entirely from the world. It is one of the greatest downfalls of technology.

The only thing I would say helps, is if you have a good network of friends who support you and make you feel loved. From my personal experiences, I found cyber-bullying was more prevalent during high school and university, whereas in the work-place it is not tolerated at all. Does anyone have personal experiences that differ from mine? I'm rather curious.

I've experienced cyber-bullying for years but the worst thing that they ever did was when pictures of me and my friends were taken off my Facebook (which is set to friends-only, despite all the lectures I got off people to keep things more private) and put on 4chan. They were sexualized, asked to be spread on other websites, asked to photoshop sexual things onto them and more. It was horrendous.

@ equivocal
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It is honestly so awful and dehumanizing.

The good thing about it in addition to peer networking help is the fact you can archive everything and it's really easy to sue people. All my cyber-bullying occurred in high school. I was this close to bringing somebody to court. If it happens again, I won't hesitate to dredge up all the evidence I've saved over the years.

@ Double Infinity.
Is it easy to sue people? I was under the impression it cost a lot of money . . . I intended to sue the person who lied about me and got me sent to jail, but when I saw the retainer fee I backed out.

@ drumonster.
The problem with courts is they are often determined by whoever's resources are exhausted first, and lawyers are expensive. That's why it's a good idea to formalize things first, like presenting the "bully" with a cease and desist letter, so you don't have to spend time and money on making sense of abstract things. My boyfriend is a forensic scientist and is extremely intelligent about the legal system + is in contact with multiple lawyers, which makes it easy for me to plan it all out right now and not depend on a retainer fee and hundreds of dollars an hour just trying to figure things out. But yes, it's expensive and exhausting, especially if there aren't many legally educated people to help you for free.

Cyber bullying is just annoying to me. I get nasty comments on Tumblr in my ask box, but it's all anon so naturally these little whiny people are just complete cowards. It doesn't really hurt because these people don't know me well enough to actually know if what they say might have a grain of truth. But the subtler forms on Mibba, i.e. insulting writers who write a first chapter a certain way or write short chapters or post certain things in their summaries, is just aggravating. We can't come right out and insult people, but we're allowed to insult a whole group like that. Why? Sigh.