lEt.ThE.eViL.Go.EaSt / Comments

Hi! I'm Maddi! :) I saw that you liked a Falling in Reverse fanfiction! So I thought I'd let you know about mine. The FIR boys are my favorite people to write about. & I have few FIR (Jacky & Ronnie) themed stories if you want to check them out! My longest, and favorite, series is called:

Trouble-Maker! (Ronnie)

As well as:
The sequel: Infinite (Ronnie)
Never Surrender (Max)
Who We Are (Ronnie)
Textbook Romance (Max)
& Mystery Boy(Jacky)

I also write MCR, Avenged Sevenfold, & originals that range from fantasy to romance. :)

I appreciate you greatly for that article about Mitch Lucker. :')

My physical contact issues usually aren't bad around people that I trust, but it doesn't change the fact that it's terrifying. I can barely hug my own parents without being plagued with the urge to claw off my skin. At least show of affection is usually avoidable ヽ(・∀・ )ﾉ

I'll be honest, most people don't care. They could be your friend and get along with you, but it usually has a shallow extent. However, there are a lot of people who do actually give a shit and you just have to learn to distinguish the two. You don't need a thousand people around you to keep you happy as long as you have those select few that you're comfortable around. Just know that I don't mind and I don't in any way feel like you're burdening me; once again, it helps me too.

DICKOLAS MASHOES N LEXASS AMANDUH NO MOAR!!! Though I heard that Matt Good is now involved with Lexus... again.

Oh, and in news I just received, Nick and Lexus are divorced/getting a divorce. I need to do some research on this but it's apparently what's been going on loolololololololololl

Physical contact is terrifying, especially if it's intended as a show of affection; friendly hugs are pretty much the source of my daily anxiety attacks. Apparently, this is a manifestation of a pretty serious mental illness, but I'm choosing to ignore it at this point because it's not that big of a deal as long as you don't overreact lol (´д｀) It sucks when you have a cuddler as a boyfriend, though. AJF;JFA;FAF GET OFF OF ME AND GO BACK TO YOUR SIDE OF THE BED YOU DICK GO AWAY DON'T TOUCH ME ｡ﾟヽ（ﾟ｀Д´ﾟ）ﾉﾟ｡

And it's not complaining if you're doing something about it. People who you get annoyed with are probably the ones that sit and wallow in their misery without any will to alleviate their situation. You, on the other hand, are clearly trying to make things better for yourself. Telling others of what's bothering you is not complaining (｀ω´)

I HATE TOUCHING OTHER PEOPLE TOO HOLY SHIT I WOULD LITERALLY CHOSE TO BLEED OUT IF I HAD AN INJURY THAN TO HAVE DOCTORS TOUCHING ME WHILE I'M CONSCIOUS (屮ﾟДﾟ)屮 I have ridiculous intimacy issues, but it's okay because it's not like I have to be in a position where physical contact is required forever. Same goes for you ﾍ(ﾟ∀ﾟﾍ)

Your mom's a human and she has her own faults and flaws; parenting doesn't come with a manual and even if it did, it probably wouldn't come in handy. Remember that she's just as lost as you are and the only thing that makes her different from you is the fact that she's the parent, or the authority figure. Learn to fake it until you make it, as hard as it may be to do, because you don't have to let her get to you. If she allows for you to have "talks" with her, let her in on your life. She may or may not understand, but I'm sure it'll help in one way or another. As for your stepfather, it's probably harder for him to make a connection with you simply because he's a male and that he wasn't there for your birth; it's a shitty thing for him to do to dismiss you as something less important that himself, but some people are just wired that way. It's nothing personal and you're better off accepting it as his shit and not yours.

This is just an observation and I'm not trying to get religious, but I think one of the biggest problems with the North American society standards is that it's heavily influenced by monotheistic religions (Christianity/Judaism mainly). These religions make everything black or white, right or wrong, excellent or abhorrent, which causes a inner conflict on those who are not a part of those beliefs. They are relentlessly unforgiving and, in my opinion, quite unnatural to humans. You are imperfect and that's the way you should be. I'm not telling you to find a god, but I suggest that you take a peek at the polytheistic religion's guidelines as a way to see that the world isn't as... concrete.

I don't know, I was lucky enough to grow up in a Japanese household where these ideas were freely floating around and I think it helped me to realize that not all things are set in stone. Once again, I'm not pushing religion on you. This is just the easiest way to digest different concepts and seeing things from a different angle.

Ughhhhhh, I ranted again, but you're so much like me that it's hard to keep my mouth shut ( ´Д｀) Remember that if I can do it, you can too and you deserve to be happy.

ILY BBY (人´∀｀)．☆．。．:*･ﾟ

Awww of course you're special (*´･ω･) I literally text you and a handful of other people and pretend that my phone glitches for the rest because I'm an abhorrent human being in general lol

You did indeed had a productive couple of days and I'm glad that you chose to write, because it's helpful in sorting your head out (unless you're like me and you want to pour acid into your ear in hopes that it'll reach your brain after you do). I genuinely think that Mitch appreciates you writing about him, as well as the rest of the people who loved him. It's easy and oddly comfortable to get caught up in the negative, but keep your head up and carry on what you're doing. It'll pay off in the end.

As for you mom yelling at you, she's doing it out of love; she loves you to bits, but probably doesn't know how to approach it correctly. I mean, anger is an intense emotion and it takes a lot out of you; if she really didn't care, she wouldn't have even bothered. Maybe she has stuff of her own going on and took it out on you, but at the end of the day, she still loves you and wants what she thinks is best.

I do agree that it hurts the most when your parents yell at you or express their disappointment, though. I've been there and gone through the whole "I HAET U MOM FUK U I HAET U SEW MUCH DAT IMMA DO AN ASSLOAD OF DOPE N KILL MYSELF TO SHOW U HOW MUCH I FUKIN HAET U" phase. You're handling things infinitely more elegantly than I did, which shows your ability to reason despite your troubles.

This too shall pass and soon you'll be free to live the way you want to. In the meantime, remember that I love you and that I think you're pretty damn badass for putting up with the things that you do.

Ugh, sorry for the rant. Here, have a summary of the orgy chapter to lighten the mood.

You know, I was just derping around after finishing my lab write up (bored as usual) so I decided to check Mibba to see how many people are willing to endure my terrible reign of buttsmut when I SAW THAT YOU COMMENTED AND I ALMOST THREW MY CAT AT THE SCREEN OUT OF EXCITEMENT.

Yayyyyyy on you feeling better <3 and YAAYYYYYYYY on the no extra charge texting ヽ( ﾟДﾟ)人(ﾟДﾟ )ﾉ I AM GOING TO RANDOMLY BLOW UP YOUR PHONE ヾ( ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ゛(at reasonable times)

Here, have this as your welcome back gift. WOBBLEDY WOBBLEDY WOP WOBBLE WOBBLE -goes back to abusing Photoshop-

ILY ( ´з｀)ﾉ⌒☆

Don't fret too much about your grades; what's important is that you understand the material and the rest will fall into place. Don't be afraid to ask me if you need any help for math/science (up to Calc III and phys/bio/chem II).

THERE IS NO LIMIT TO GAYNESS! Nah, I just got really bothered after reading the buttsmut on Mibba about how no one seems to know where the prostate is, so I'm experimenting to see if this addition to my smut collection fixes some of it (doubt it).

BUT YES DEVIN'S HANDS ARE BEAUTIFUL EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT MAN IS BEAUTIFUL I CAN'T HANDLE IT WHY IS HE SO DAMN PERFECT?!

Oh... and I just now noticed how perfect Devin's fingers are. THEY WERE MADE TO PLAY A GUITAR WITH RIDICULOUS NUMBERS OF STRINGS WHAT THE FUCK LET ME HAVE YOUR FINGERS D:

I'm surprisingly not doing too shabby in any of my courses, but sometimes I get bogged down with the mass amount of work I have to finish and procrastinate until the last possible second. Like, I scheduled everything so that I have Fridays off to dick around, but lately all I've been doing is schoolwork and writing gay lolololololloll.

Like I am now. This time it's going to be double the gay. Super gay.

...like this?


OH GODDAMN IT I'M TERRIFIED I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING ANYMORE I'VE BEEN DOING SCHOOLWORK FOR ALMOST 7 HOURS STRAIGHT AND MY BRAIN IS FRIED

I'm going to be pretty much at a loss at who's who at that show besides MIW and CG... and I have the feeling that my friends and I are going to be the only ones old enough to drive there on our own like "hi we're barely legal but it's still child abuse if we accidentally hurt you in the pit so please don't come near us thnx" -old ppl probs-

It's okay because I have issues too... OH GOD BALZ DOES HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR EVER I WANT HIM AS A HUMAN EQUAL OF A PET WHERE I JUST WANT TO PET HIM AND FEED HIM AND GIVE HIM BALZ TREATS

I judged myself so hard for writing that... ugh.

MADII I'M GETTING DRAGGED TO THEIR SHOW WHEN THEY COME HERE ON TOUR AND I'M JUST GOING TO START LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY IN THEIR FACES WHEN I SEE THEM LIKE "HAHAHAHAHHA I'M MAKING YOU GUYS HAVE FAKE BUTTSEX ON THE INTERNET AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO USE MY FAKE ID TO GO GET A DRINK FROM THE BAR TO DROWN OUT MY GUILTY CONSCIENCE AHAHAHAHAHAH"

...At least Chelsea Grin will be there too and I'll get to drool over Jason Richardson's majestic fingers. Are you going to the Infamous tour?

I found a few stories that's pretty much rape and the only thing justifying that it's not rape is the one who got raped enjoyed it... wow. I'm kind of scared despite writing creepy smut myself lol

And also, my mental health deteriorates exponentially with each chapter I add. >>> PROOF (this Rick Olson bitchface is so useful and BALZ OMG BALZ BBY BALZ)

I cheated again and went to go peek around the buttsmut written by other people to see how bad mine was in comparison... AND WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THERE SO MUCH VIOLENCE INVOLVED HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?! -rolls around crying-

I KNOW RIGHT I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF AFTER READING SMUT LIKE EVEN THE WRITING PROCESS IS AWKWARD AS HELL.

1. Foreplay
2. Balz/Rick does/says something stupid that results in a tangent
3. Realizes the tangent but too lazy to rewrite
4. Goes back to foreplay
5. Some unrealistic shit happens
6. No wait, that doesn't happen IRL
7. But then again, I have no idea what buttsecks is like
8. Whatever, keep it in
9. Even more unrealistic shit happens
10. Okay, I have to fix that part because that doesn't even happen with normal sex
11. Fixes
12. Sex becomes all too realistic gore festival
13. Damn it I'm trying to write buttsmut, not traumatize virgins
14. Smut turns into every sex scene that I've written where it's awkward and dumb
15. A/N: "FUK U U GUIZE R DEELIN WIF DIS STFU IMMA GO LAY THE FUCK DOWN"
16. Submits

FIEN DEN LAFF @ ME WHYL I START ON DIS RLY AWK BUTTSECKS. DEREZ NO WHEY I CAN MAEK SECKS SECKSY LOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOL

Yeah, like Austin and Alan from OM&M are like all over each other's b-holes and then Alan's all like "lol i sux aus10's dix liek allatiem meow" over Twitter but when it comes time for interviews, they're like "lol nope i haz no idea wat ur talkin bout"

DUN'T LAFF @ ME MADII U HAVE NO IDEA DIS WUZ WAT I LUK'D LIEK DA ENTIRE TIEM I WUS TRYIN 2 MAEK BALS N RIK INTRAKT W/O MAKIN DICK JOKE JFC FLUFF MAKES MY TEETH ITCH