it's funny how fast my heart moves on after a long relationship like that; one that has gone on too long. and falls back into vines with someone i used to be great friends with. it's wonderful how things like that work out without knowing. i feel invincible for once in a long time. i feel happy and cheery and ready to take on whatever else comes my way. but im so happy right now i could scream on...

i just wrote a really long entryand it logged me out so it never savedthis sucksmaybe i'll learn next timeSUMMARIZED:i'm better, i'm living, i'll make it.friday night was awful, but i'm not going backtake my past and learneverything is working out fine nowi'm sure of itLOL maybe it was modest mouse,but ive been listening to more peter, bjorn, and johni'm feelin' goodnd everythings greati get by...

i'm second guessing myself all the time and i don't even know my own genuine feelings..this is sofuckingstupid.i feel like a rock.and it's like, he's there, smiling, laughing, talking with friends.i just walk byit's hard for me to say how i really feel on the spotmy feelings take time to heat upand sometimes they come just a little too late..but i'm learning to live with choicesand compromising to...

i think the reason for most of the things i do is adrenalinelike it's the reason for anyone to do pretty much anythingfor him to start doing drugshe used to get a rush from doing sports,but after all these years it just never came againso he looked to another placeand i think there's a difference between a high and a rushto me a high is just feeling happy and doing what ya dobut an adrenaline rush...

it's rainy and icy and snowy and i can't leave homemom's been pissing me off more than usual todayadn when i even told her the cookies were goneshe flipped the fuck outit's in the past so it's not like i can tell the boys to becomeanorexic and puke then the fuck back upi can always make moreanything anyone does she questionsi just wanna leavei think i would have just rathered going to schooland...

although it sort of already started,just moved.3PM and the bells rings.snowing just as they predictedjust as everyone thoughtand everyone said there'd be no schoolno cloudy with a chance of meatballsbut im not doing a damn thing in preparationbecause im a strong believersteve's birthday's todaypetey and morgen are overits actually very awkward for me stillespecially since morgen confirmed thatpete...