woohoo what a fucking awesome story!! it's really so good, I don't even know what to say!! and i subscribed--you have my mibba subscription virginity! lmao :P
July 14th, 2007 at 02:07pm
I want the characters to be older. Like maybe, fifth year and up, but I don't want to feel like I have to attach them to JKR's story. What I might do is place them in a year and tell it from Hermione's POV and then follow the HP timeline. Maybe.
- Geriya:
- This story is one of the best I've ever read.
And I've read my fair share.
To be the third (but not the last) person to tell you: This is amazingly well written. All the descriptions, grammar and paragraphing are in order.
I was completely trapped and I could feel the panicked hand of fear gripping my heart.
I really loved that line. It went along so well with Malfoy's own grip on Hermione's wrist. It just...fit.
Some questions though: what year are they in? And will Voldemort or any of Harry/Malfoy's enemies be evident in this story? Will this story kind of be an alternate timeline/universe?
The only criticism I have is to make the dialog double spaced.
For example:
"Harry?" He asked, his fingers circling the side of my neck.
"Please, Draco, Please!" I felt my eyes brimming with tears. I was so alone.
"Potter?" He asked again. "Potter..." his voice drifted off again.
That makes it easier on the eyes.
Love this story, it's the first Harry Potter fanfic I've ever read, and I am certainly not regretting clicking on it.
Update when you get the chance and take care.