House of Syn - Comments

x.Kris.x:

$20 bucks on Matt being the bouncer. No, make that $40! Haha, although I now feel like you're gonna change the bouncer to Johnny, just to get that cash. Oh well. Hmm...as for the rest? I say Jimmy is the DJ, and my sex idol Zacky Vee is a bartender. I just feel like those fit pretty damn well.
So I just started reading, but I'm pretty much in love with this story already. It's hilarious. I love how realistic and grounded you've made your characters, and the amount of detail you put in is amazing. I'm actually honestly squirming in my chair as I read about her horribly embarassing actions. God, talk about klutz! I can totally relate. It ALWAYS happens, and it's ALWAYS in front of the sexiest, god's-gift-to-women guys. *Hangs head in shame*
Wanna know what? I'm surprised Brian hasn't opened a porn shop yet. I feel like the A7X guys would make excellent adult store business owners. Seriously. Can you imagine how many regular customers they'd have? I am, of course, including myself in that count.
Although buying toys is not something I do on my own. That's just awkward. Not as awkward as those kids though. They were just mean. I'm not gonna lie, I totally thought something was gonna happen with her boob stuffing (like, they were laughing because they could see it or something). As much as I am loving Valen (great name, btw), I feel like that was an odd thing to do. I know she's got a little bit of a self-esteem issue, and she's nervous and a little desperate, but let's be honest here, what 24 year old would use tissue pads? Your writing style is informal, and that's great, because it helps keep the story realistic, but let's keep little details like that real as well, hmm? I think anything from a push-up to a waterbra or something would be better...I just want Valen to stay 24 like you've established, and not revert to a 16 year old...you know? If not, maybe change the age you previously wrote down or something? Sorry, I'm a sickler for consistency. It's like saying Valen, the 24 year old, is in love with bacardi strawberry. You have to be aware of age. No 24 year old would be caught dead with one (minus girly sleepovers where everyone gets together specifically to have an excuse for horrific, weak mixed drinks lol).
But that's about it. I'm really enjoying this story, and I can say that I totally feel Valen. I'm glad that she's different; means she experimental *wiggles eyebrows* hahaha! I can't wait to see what happens as the club!

Wow! Amazing comment! You get the comment award! :mrgreen:

Having said that, I don't think the tissue-stuffing is age-inappropriate. I have a friend who is 31 and did that very thing just last weekend. She stuffed her corset with tissue. See, waterbras are for people who continually try to impress. Valen kinda gave up on impressing boys a long time ago. So now that she wants to, she just used what she had handy on the spur of the moment.

A lot of the things that happen in my stories are from real life. Like that happened to me - asking the guys at the porn shop what a bullet did and not even noticing there were huge signs there. So I try to keep things realistic. But having things go differently than what you would expect in reality is sometimes also fun. Maybe my reality is just messed up? lol

Some of her behavior IS immature - like going out with a head full of bats - but that is part of her quirky personality.

Don't worry, she's not going to turn into an annoying teeny anytime soon. But, at the same time, I can't be responsible for meeting every reader's expectation as far as their personal interpretation of my characters.

Totally update.

Matt's most likely the bouncer....
maybe jimmy is the bartender along with either johnny and Zacky
and then of of those two are the d.j.
=]]

Matt's the bouncer.
Jimmy, and Zacky are Batenders.
Johnny's the DJ.

Anyway this story is halarious, keep it up.
*subsribes*

$20 bucks on Matt being the bouncer. No, make that $40! Haha, although I now feel like you're gonna change the bouncer to Johnny, just to get that cash. Oh well. Hmm...as for the rest? I say Jimmy is the DJ, and my sex idol Zacky Vee is a bartender. I just feel like those fit pretty damn well.
So I just started reading, but I'm pretty much in love with this story already. It's hilarious. I love how realistic and grounded you've made your characters, and the amount of detail you put in is amazing. I'm actually honestly squirming in my chair as I read about her horribly embarassing actions. God, talk about klutz! I can totally relate. It ALWAYS happens, and it's ALWAYS in front of the sexiest, god's-gift-to-women guys. *Hangs head in shame*
Wanna know what? I'm surprised Brian hasn't opened a porn shop yet. I feel like the A7X guys would make excellent adult store business owners. Seriously. Can you imagine how many regular customers they'd have? I am, of course, including myself in that count.
Although buying toys is not something I do on my own. That's just awkward. Not as awkward as those kids though. They were just mean. I'm not gonna lie, I totally thought something was gonna happen with her boob stuffing (like, they were laughing because they could see it or something). As much as I am loving Valen (great name, btw), I feel like that was an odd thing to do. I know she's got a little bit of a self-esteem issue, and she's nervous and a little desperate, but let's be honest here, what 24 year old would use tissue pads? Your writing style is informal, and that's great, because it helps keep the story realistic, but let's keep little details like that real as well, hmm? I think anything from a push-up to a waterbra or something would be better...I just want Valen to stay 24 like you've established, and not revert to a 16 year old...you know? If not, maybe change the age you previously wrote down or something? Sorry, I'm a sickler for consistency. It's like saying Valen, the 24 year old, is in love with bacardi strawberry. You have to be aware of age. No 24 year old would be caught dead with one (minus girly sleepovers where everyone gets together specifically to have an excuse for horrific, weak mixed drinks lol).
But that's about it. I'm really enjoying this story, and I can say that I totally feel Valen. I'm glad that she's different; means she experimental *wiggles eyebrows* hahaha! I can't wait to see what happens as the club!

wow. she is just like me.
not pretty part, but the 'tottly clutzy, and kinda sped when it comes to hot guys' thing.
Welcome to my life.
haha.
Lovers the story, and the characters <333

she'll probably just embarass herself again. like act cool but knock a shelf over and the contents fall on her :)

I love it!
syn + porn = awesomeness.
update soon please!
subbing for sure.
:D

I like this story. update soon. =]]

she'll probably embarrass herself again!
she seems to have it down to an art, lol

lol, that is why i buy mine online!
*subscribes* :lmfao :pat: :hug: ~~ :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :arms: omgno: :yah