Cirque des Anges - Comments

Whoa. I can't really find any faults (I hope I did R&R the right story).

The description was amazing and I love the way you keep the suspence ... everything's a bit of a mystery, it makes you want to read on.

Very enjoyable!

I loved your descriptions. I read the last chapter and really liked it. Well writen.

thanks a lot, guys.

Oh wow. You're amazing, you know that? You've left me speechless, and it takes an extremely well written story to do that.

I only have two things to crit though, so...

1: If you’d only seen her face, she could’ve been a fallen angel, but her body had been tortured by the devil. You might want to capitilize Devil. Because it's a religious figure and sort of... I dunno, but you might not want to leave it in lowercase.

2: In Chapter 3, don't leave all of the periods in between scenes, whether it be time elapse or scene-change, just make it three bolded periods or maybe a bolded star. It will make you're writing seem neater.

Other than that, this story is coming along beautifully. I adore it, but, what else can anyone expect from this? It's great. Keep going. ^.^

This is...wow. You remind me of Sylvia Plath and for that I hate you because I'm insanely jealous.

When i first saw it was a vampire fic, I was suspicious and imagined the same, worn out Frerard fic being writ again. But, my my, how you surprise!

I love all the elements of mystery around this, I reaaaally do.

I would quote but I wouldn;t have enough room in the message box.

Fantastic.

:shock: thanks. i never imagined it would be this well recieved.

Yea! I made it, and I am so glad that I did.
This is the first Vampire story that I have read so far and acually didn't click out of in disgust. I'm really picky about Vampire stories, and yours is amazing. The descriptions are beautiful, and your characters are life-like.
And thank God, you know to use proper grammer and you know how to spell.
You haven't fallen into any of the usual cliches, and I'm def. subscribing.
:)

This chapter is absolute perfection. I loved it.

it's really something different, not as all vimpire stories. so good and awsomely described, the words are perfectly chosen, like it wouldn't be the same story if you used some other words.

i love it.

even better than the first ;)
more soon

thanks

This is very nicely written. No spelling or grammar mistakes. Nothing bad I can say about it. Nothing wrong with it. It's not your average vampire fic. Just your usage of lanuage was pure perfection. I felt like I was Isabella. I could see the candle flickering around in that tent. I could hear and see the rain pounding against the pavement.

It doesn't seem to be your average vampire fic.

Must I say that I loved your descriptions, especially the openers? It was amazing. Th way you kept the atmosphere of the story haunting and mysterious all throughout it admirable. And you're thirteen. Goodness. What kind of monster will you be in two years? xD

The characters, I think, are nicely developed, even if only for a first chapter. And they sound like kickass vampires.

Excellent work so far. Keep it up.

Btw, this is for the Cult. Would you please read and comment the 'without you' link in my sig? Thank you.

i love it, amazingly decribed... no grammar of spelling mistakes so nice...

agree with This common sense. - that part was amazing

oh, and this is for cult so can you check first line in my siggy???

This is a great start. I don't read Vampire fics, to be honest the annoy me, but I liked this a lot.

With one forlorn glance at the heavens, during which rain splattered the lenses of her sunglasses and her forehead and cheeks, she entered the gates of the circus and slipped past the ticket master’s booth without attracting any suspicious looks from anxious parents and excited children. All around her, the darkness deepened until to see five feet in front of you was impossible and the only light was that of the aforementioned light-up signs and neon lights. That right there did it for me. I loved that whole sentence. This is very well written, and it was a good read.

I did this for the cult so please reading anything you want click last ilne of siggy. Great job again.

This is one of the best vampire stories I've read yet, and this is only the first chapter.

The entire context left me with a vivid picture of the surroundings, and I loved how you described the people.

This was my favorite part:

“Mercy,” the oldest girl replied. And then waving a hand at the boy, “Criss,” and at the little girl, “Charlotte”. Mercy’s hair fell in dark brown waves to the middle of her back and her eyes were a molten purple color. Criss’s hair was cropped to ear level and shockingly black, and his eyes a dark red. Charlotte’s eyes were the color melted gold, and her hair matched perfectly, falling to her waist in golden, rippling ringlets.

They sound so... odd compared to stereotypical vampires, actually. Like, you would never expect a golden-haired vampire, would you? Nice originality there. ;)

All and all, I loved it, so I'm subscribing. Keep up the good work.

doublepost,damnit.sorry

why thank you

ooooh, awesomeness! :D
seriously, your descriptions are amazing
more soon ;D

thanks, means a lot