Holly - Comments

D: I'm too emotional for this, haha,
I'm bawling my eyes out right now,
I tell myself it's just a story, but I've gotten so into it I feel heartbroken for Tom,
I'm defiantally going to read your next story, but don't make it so depressing in the end.
Well, you can, but I'm probably just going to end up crying again. :)

You wrote a truly amazing story.
The ending was epic.
It was like the icing on top of the cake.
I would've really like your story regardless of the ending.
But that just made me love it.

OHHHH!! Katie I absolutely adore it! Bravo mon cherie! C'est FANTASTICAL! I loved every minute of it and I do wait faithfully by my computer for another tale of such epic proportions! Btw.... Rumpelstiltskin mademoiselle! november 10th or I shall refrain from convering with you for a lengthy amount of tics! . Lovely though Katie, simply lovely. (And yes I do realize lovely is not often used in murderous tales) But I felt it portrayed my feeelingss! I do aore I DO! I do. ! I can not wait for more <<Lmao!

Chapter 25:

Into our warm, cosy living room.

I really liked how you put emphasise on the word our, even though it was such a simple thing it made a difference, it just proves how sure Tom is when it comes to Luke not belonging there.

I don’t like her when she turns into a snob, it’s so annoying but I guess it’s helps to explain her character a bit more, I like how Tom, Oliver and Carol just laughed it off, it made me think they were pretty laid back which I’d sort of imagine them to be.

When he said he was taking her the doctors I actually thought he was taking her somewhere else, that’s only because he allowed someone to pay him to have sex with his sister, disgusting.

Holly loves taking little risks, doesn’t she, hehe? I’m so relieved that Carol didn’t walk in whilst they were kissing though, it was so bloody close.

And Luke adjusting her coat and her not complaining was either showing how young she behaves because Tom compared her to your ‘average’ teenage girl or how obedient she will actually be towards Luke.

When he started to get upset was so good, I feel bad for saying that, it actually seemed like he couldn’t control it and like he didn’t care that couldn’t, it was really powerful, it not only showed how much sympathy and care he felt towards Holly but it was also able to show the relationship between him and Oliver. You made them seem pretty playful at times but now you’ve shown how they’re there for each other when they need to be, it makes you wonder how Oliver will react when he finds out about Tom and Holly.

They do seem to argue a fair bit when they’re alone.
I think every time they have sex, Tom starts to feel even worse about the fact of how young she is.
I can’t wait to start reading the next chapter though because I have a feeling there’s going to be trouble, they really shouldn’t have fallen asleep, I loved the chapter though !

Chapter 26:

I started to read this faster as it built up because I really just wanted to get to the point where Oliver noticed Holly, I was just in shock, even though I expected it I was just “Wow!”, that’s what your writing does to me.

Everyone literally turned against him as soon as they realised what was going on, and Oliver referring to Holly as their little sister only made the situation worse, it made it seem more sickening.

Throughout the story you’ve described Holly as a doll and in this chapter, this’ll sound silly, but you sort of made her one, when she was literally just staring off and not really paying attention to what was going on, she just seemed to stop, completely.
But I thought it was amazing, (Y)

I can’t believe David got away, that’s not fair, I fucking hate him !

This whole chapter just had me hooked, I can’t even explain it properly, it was just bloody brilliant !
By far one of my favourites, (Y)

Luke just pissed me off how he didn’t even acknowledge the stuff he’d let David do when he started screaming at Tom, obviously he couldn’t because otherwise everyone would know, but it’s Luke and I just don’t like him !

I really can’t believe Luke raped her, it’s absolutely disgusting, it actually shocked me and then we all found out she was pregnant with that tramp’s baby, I really couldn’t get over it, the thought actually made me feel slightly sick.

And oh my gosh, he isn’t actually going to murder her is he, he can’t, that’s his Holly.
Of course with Luke and everyone gone things are going to be completely fine with her but still he can’t kill her !

Chapter 27:

I don’t think I’ve ever read a story as powerful as yours.
You actually make everything seem so real and so full of emotion.
You got me attached to these characters you’d created, so it makes such a huge impact on the reader when you do something like you did in this chapter.
It was beautifully written, it amazed me.
I expected to have a lot to say for this chapter but, this’ll make no sense, it was so good that there isn’t much I can say about it !

Epilogue

Even though it was such an emotional ending, it was perfect.
This may sound a bit mean but I’m glad there weren’t a happy ending, this was the best way to do it.
Those last two words was the best way to end it though, I can’t argue against that.

I loved this story, I’ll miss it.
You should be truly proud of your writing, you show a lot of talent through it, most definitely one of the best writers on here.
My favourite anyway out of every writer on this site.
I don’t even know what to say, to be honest with you.
I think you have a huge chance of being a writer when you’re older, I know if you ever came out with a book, I’d read it !
Well done, it was bloody amazing !

Actually have time to read the rest of this now !
Just trying to find where I left off, I'm just going to give you one big comment, after this one, it'll be easier, haha, :)

oh jesus :'| i am frucking crying right now.
THIS IS SO, SO SAD. OHMYGOD.
it is so beautifully written <3
but, ohmygod, ITS SO SAD D':
-now has tears streaming down her face-

I just started reading it so I don't know what's going on D:
But I love it already, and I'll continue to find out Missy, :)
Too bad it's already over though, I was WAY late.
And also, whenever I read this I feel like listening to Chase Coy all day, Js.

I really do like your writting
from all the storys that I read this is the best
I can fell what tom was felling ....
I hope you will begin a new story soon . I can't wait >.<

I'd have to say OHMYGOD!
That ending was so sad/sadistic/awesome!
I've been following this story for some time now. (Sorry I haven't commented earlier. I haven't thought abuot it.) And the ending was so shocking and just wow.
I loved reading every moment of this story. Well written I'd have to say. :D

this story was truly amazing, you dont even know. Just teh way that you describe things and people respond and you can actually feel it all. I cant wait for you to write another story. I basically read this because it was something good and a novel at that. Nothing like anything I had ever read before. I subscribed because I didnt want to forget it.

SO BEAUTIFUL!!! had me in tears. Lovely ending. I'll miss this. Can't wait for your new story.

I can easily say this is the best story I've ever read.
You are actually amazing.

I went to see BMTH last Saturday, and Tom was there, at the side of the stage with a girl, a young girl, I found it quite funny tbh.
He's lovely, and his voice is brilliant. ><

Thank-you for being so amazing,
I'm going to miss this a lot.
Good luck for the new story, I'll definately be reading.
xx

INSANE. Omg. When I started reading this I expected a happy ending and for them to be together away from everyone else but...this has totally shocked me. Well done :O xxx

oh my fucking god. i dont swear too much.. this is the best fanfiction i've read. im completely speechless. totally flabbergast. i just dont know what to say. the way it was written was just completely utterly amazing & the story line is just insane. im still speechless. i just... i dont know what to say at all. totally taken back from this story and how it is written and structed. its just not like anything ive read before. my my my. you're one of my favourite authors and i have only been on mibba for like what, four weeks & you're story is the best ever. totally just flown away with it.

soory that was supposed to be a *cough*mental*cough*

awwwwwwww....that was...sad, poor *cough*insane*mental*Tom

but that a great epilogue! it was the perfect ending for this story!

Haha uh wait!

I forgot to ask did you base your story off of a book? If you did what book because I'm curious! Otherwise put my mind to rest!
I have that feeling where you forgot something or need to so something and can't remember why/what.

I likes reading this story because it was easy to follow. BUT most of all because the plot was different. It wasn't the over used story about the musician's sister is on tour etc and you explained your inspiration one time.

I've never actually taken the time to type up an explaination hahah :)
but as long as the story is well written, interesting twists I'll read it!

I'm really glad I read this. I think that you have a wonderful style and concept in your writing and I'm really looking forward to reading anything else you write in the future.

wow...that was
amazing
honestly and truely, hun
I love it!