I really love the new chapter! I have this idea when Brendon takes her back to the mansion, he talks to her and tells her how he really feels for her, then he tricks her into letting him bite her and taste her blood, and she passes out and wakes up back in guys house, they notice the bite marks, and they watch her even more close and keep her from going to fight the Dandies, but she sneaks out anyway. I really love this story! Update soon!
-from comment swap- I don't usually read vamp stories, but this is great! Your idea is from the 'A Little Less Sixteen Candles...' music video, right? With Will Beckett, Brendon (obviosuly hahah) & FOB? Even if it's not, which I have a feeling it is, it's great! This is an awesome story & a great idea. Like others have said, your writing has gotten better & better with every single chapter. You've got grammar & spelling mistakes here and there, but other than that, you're gold. This is an awesome story :-)
Okay, so I was sent here via comment swap. I really like the idea of this story, I think it's very original. I can see how your writing has evovled since you started, I read the first chapter and was super overwhelmed because I didn't understand what was going on, the pace was moving so quickly. I would recommend maybe (and believe me, I know it's scary) going back and looking at your first chapters. I saw a few spelling/ grammar mistakes in the first few chapters, and the story kind of seems to go too quickly. I only say this because of comment swap, a lot of people are going to see your first chapters.
But your later chapters are great, and the pace is a lot better for me. It's getting very interesting, and again, I can see how much your writing has improved. Keep up the good work and feel free to message if you have any questions. Hope you find this helpful! Good luck!
Thank you so much for the update! I can't wait to see what happens next! That was really cool that Pete is actually trying to be nice to her! Update soon!