I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Comments

So I think... that you should update within the week :P I'm having the week from hell and the return of this has gladly made up for it <3

Woop jacks on his way home!!! I wonder who found him though? >.< Angsttttt
Amazing lovely :D x

^:tehe: I live for your comments.
Thanks, I like changing up the pace with this because I want this to seem like a Torchwood episode (well, more like another mini-series basically). So slow angsty angst and then before you know it the gun is right in your face, y'know?

The next chapter will continue to be at this past but the final chapter is a huge curveball. Anddddd that is all I can say. :shifty

I'll update soon.

(well as soon as I get my lazy ass to post this chap on LJ. :lmfao)

I apologise for the lateness. Unfortunately, what little of a life I have has been interfering with me getting this done. I could have just left a short, sweet comment, but hell- I hate to disappoint.

Okay. First things first…. CURR! Ah, it’s all right. I had a feeling he might not last long anyway- or at least, it might appear that way (and on a slightly random note, I‘m liking that you made his blood purple. Irrelevant, I know.). In this chapter, you again managed to make him extremely endearing through his nervous and unsure personality. I love to see characters that are completely out of their depth and then slowly build up confidence with the situation as events unfold. It makes them a lot more genuine, especially with O.Cs. For some reason, when an ordinary person picks up a gun and immediately knows how to use it AND hits everything they shoot at, it annoys me (which is why I love Shaun of the Dead so much for subverting it). Anyway… I loved Jack’s quip about remembering the lesson near the end- and the whole scene where Curr is taught how to use a gun was written extremely well. Short, sweet, got to the point. One line that particularly sticks in my mind is: The weight is foreign to him. Just again, showing how out of place Curr feels…

This was another very action-packed chapter. Not as many long paragraphs, very staccato sentences and quickfire dialogue- which worked quite well. It certainly amped up the tension of the story, especially with the very sudden ending. Very visual, too. Especially the section describing their entrance into the camp, where the torture implements and unnerving silence were put side by side. That honestly gave me the chills- just imagining the kind of cold, calculated cruelty these creatures possess.

At a lot of points during this chapter, I felt more like I was watching a movie instead of reading, which I thought was great. Each sentence got straight to the point and really packed a punch. I like how you didn’t go into too much depth describing the gore- it would have dragged down the fast-paced style of the chapter; plus I think when writing violent scenes, less is more. The scenes need to move quickly, so it makes no sense to get bogged down on details. So yeah. I commend you on that.

Once again, great work. However… I do think that perhaps this chapter needs to be read over a couple of times. Don’t worry- I just picked up a couple of typos, that’s all, and a small percentage of the wording could stand a little tweaking. Other then that, it’s absolutely brilliant, as always.

The Doctor.:

Oh my god.

This is brilliant. I love the twist at the end.

Lovely and gruesome. As it should.

Your technobabble is still good, so you know. :file:

*blushes* Thank you.
and woot! I seriously rambled my friends ear off when I was plotting what to do and most of that was about the technobabble. :XD

Dorian Gray:

No! :cheese: I liked Curr, he was cool. Was it necessary to kill him? *pouty face*

I hope they don't do too bad things to Jack. He needs to get out of that place, with a vial of that breath, and then he needs to save Ianto. (And Curr, please?)

Sorry about the lame comment. >_>

Almost all of your questions will be answered in the next chapter. (2 more to go :twitch:)

I debated about killing Curr but it made sense to me in the end even though I liked him... The whole "no one is safe" thing.
and no comment is a lame comment. :cute:

Oh my god.

This is brilliant. I love the twist at the end.

Lovely and gruesome. As it should.

Your technobabble is still good, so you know. :file:

No! :cheese: I liked Curr, he was cool. Was it necessary to kill him? *pouty face*

I hope they don't do too bad things to Jack. He needs to get out of that place, with a vial of that breath, and then he needs to save Ianto. (And Curr, please?)

Sorry about the lame comment. >_>

I love it! Yet another great chapter. :). Keep updating please. : D.

I know, I liked Curr too...
and :XD We all wanna know what Jack has on his wristband.hopefully some Green Day :shifty
More soon

:cheese:
CURR!
I liked him.

Poor Jack, I miss his genuine smiles and all round happiness. I really hope he gets his Ianto jack.
I want to know all the music Jack has on his wristband :file:
:XD

Amazing, as always. MORE PLZKTNX.

gareth david-lloyd:

:cheese: That was amazing! I be sad about Curr though.
The bit about Jack's wristband thingy being able to store music too made me giggle. :tehe:
I really can't wait for more, this story is epic. :con:
:arms:

:tehe: I tossed in that because I really missed the funny. :XD
And you know the wristband would totally store music. lol. Makes sense to me.

taylor.:

:don:
OMFG!
Curr is dead?!
Nooo!
He was awesome!
But YES! THEY GOT THE BREATH!
More soon!

I was debating keeping him but in the end it made sense that he wouldn't make it.No one is safe and yada yada
More coming very soon, there's only 2 parts left.

:cheese: That was amazing! I be sad about Curr though.
The bit about Jack's wristband thingy being able to store music too made me giggle. :tehe:
I really can't wait for more, this story is epic. :con:
:arms:

:don:
OMFG!
Curr is dead?!
Nooo!
He was awesome!
But YES! THEY GOT THE BREATH!
More soon!

Misericordia:

(Just a warning, this may end up a kind of hybrid review of chapter three and four. :XD)

Okay. First thing I have to say is this chapter is definitely different. There’s a change of pace- suddenly, everything’s gone very snappy, tense and action-filled. You’ve very smoothly transitioned from Jack sitting around considering his plan of action to actually pulling it off, and not a moment too soon. Going from describing one of Jack’s resurrections to him making some headway with his mission was a good move. Chapter three was the beginning of the quest, and with chapter four, it feels like we’re getting to the middle. The progression of the journey is working very well.

Now to the new character introduction… Curr (loving the name, BTW). I’m liking him already. I think you got me with: “a pretty young Certovan, barely reaching adulthood” and then cinched the deal with he’s nervous and twitchy and looks dead scared when he’s slammed up against the wall and demanded to spill everything he knows about the vial of Zahdanium breath.” Man, I love those cute, nervous types. Anyway, I’m trying not to get too attached (because a certain RTD scared me off that). Although… When he’s pleading for Jack not to take him along, I kind of had an “aw” moment. Don’t worry- I won’t start any campaigns if anything happens to him. Oh, and before I forget, I like the total recall ability, especially paired with the glowing eyes. I’m wondering if this species has any other tricks up its sleeves…

My favourite line of the chapter? ”…There’s…. there’s someone else. Someone who didn’t deserve to… to die and I need them back, okay? No matter what the cost.” Very poignant moment right there… Especially since Jack took Ianto for granted most of the time. Just imagining him stating this is enough to make me start biting my lip, pinching the bridge of my nose and complaining loudly about dust in my eyes. It’s amazing how you can take something simple like that and create that kind of underlying emotion.

Right… Sappy moment dealt with, now, moving on to your description of Jack’s newest destination… Right off the bat, I can say it was certainly very foreboding. Especially with all that talk of burning flesh, and then thinking about how Jack would be familiar to that smell (*shudders*). Poor, naïve Curr. I’m feeling sorry for him already. :XD Jack’s reaction to the creature was spot-on, and tying it in with his past was a brilliant idea. I’m honestly in awe of how well you tie everything together. Although, I did kind of have an inkling it would have something to do with what happened to Grey as soon as I read Curr’s description of what the breath was being used for. I’m still in awe, though.

Sorry if this is a bit long and rambly- sleep deprivation can be a real bitch when it comes to reviews. :XD Anyway, as always, I urge you to continue this and can’t wait to read the next instalment. Hell, I think I’m paying more attention to this story then any other on Mibba. Feel special. :tehe:

I think you got just about everything I wanted to come across in this chapter. :cute:
And I'm glad you mentioned Curr, I haven't gotten any feedback on him yet (on here or on LJ) so I'm glad he was likeable.
I haven't created an OC in so damn long...

And I always love twitchy nervous types too. I figured that'd work best with this...

The Doctor.:

This is win. :cheese:

The last two chapters have used technobabble-y names perfectly.

:arms: Please continue?

That means so much because I think I absolutely FAIL at technobabble. :XD
I probably spent more time thinking of that than I did writing this chapter. :lmfao

More shall be up soon :cute: Probably in a few days.

(Just a warning, this may end up a kind of hybrid review of chapter three and four. :XD)

Okay. First thing I have to say is this chapter is definitely different. There’s a change of pace- suddenly, everything’s gone very snappy, tense and action-filled. You’ve very smoothly transitioned from Jack sitting around considering his plan of action to actually pulling it off, and not a moment too soon. Going from describing one of Jack’s resurrections to him making some headway with his mission was a good move. Chapter three was the beginning of the quest, and with chapter four, it feels like we’re getting to the middle. The progression of the journey is working very well.

Now to the new character introduction… Curr (loving the name, BTW). I’m liking him already. I think you got me with: “a pretty young Certovan, barely reaching adulthood” and then cinched the deal with he’s nervous and twitchy and looks dead scared when he’s slammed up against the wall and demanded to spill everything he knows about the vial of Zahdanium breath.” Man, I love those cute, nervous types. Anyway, I’m trying not to get too attached (because a certain RTD scared me off that). Although… When he’s pleading for Jack not to take him along, I kind of had an “aw” moment. Don’t worry- I won’t start any campaigns if anything happens to him. Oh, and before I forget, I like the total recall ability, especially paired with the glowing eyes. I’m wondering if this species has any other tricks up its sleeves…

My favourite line of the chapter? ”…There’s…. there’s someone else. Someone who didn’t deserve to… to die and I need them back, okay? No matter what the cost.” Very poignant moment right there… Especially since Jack took Ianto for granted most of the time. Just imagining him stating this is enough to make me start biting my lip, pinching the bridge of my nose and complaining loudly about dust in my eyes. It’s amazing how you can take something simple like that and create that kind of underlying emotion.

Right… Sappy moment dealt with, now, moving on to your description of Jack’s newest destination… Right off the bat, I can say it was certainly very foreboding. Especially with all that talk of burning flesh, and then thinking about how Jack would be familiar to that smell (*shudders*). Poor, naïve Curr. I’m feeling sorry for him already. :XD Jack’s reaction to the creature was spot-on, and tying it in with his past was a brilliant idea. I’m honestly in awe of how well you tie everything together. Although, I did kind of have an inkling it would have something to do with what happened to Grey as soon as I read Curr’s description of what the breath was being used for. I’m still in awe, though.

Sorry if this is a bit long and rambly- sleep deprivation can be a real bitch when it comes to reviews. :XD Anyway, as always, I urge you to continue this and can’t wait to read the next instalment. Hell, I think I’m paying more attention to this story then any other on Mibba. Feel special. :tehe:

This is win. :cheese:

The last two chapters have used technobabble-y names perfectly.

:arms: Please continue?

Hee. Gareth said that? :brightside: He's so right, the ratings will fail and they'll bring him back.
Fuck the "integrity of the storyline", Mr RTD. :roll: You need ratings.

and :tehe: Thanks for liking it.

Billie Joe Armstrong:

The show just won't be the same if they don't bring him back.

As Gareth said to me today, the ratings will drop dramatically and they'll beg him to come back. :lmfao

Anyhoo, I loved the update, it was awesome. :cute: I fail at feedback, but it was really good. I adore this story sfm.
And I like the fact you brought the thingies that killed Jack's father etc into it, makes it more idk, realistic to Torchwood? :XD
I'm probably talking shit, leave me be, I'm still mentally screwed up from meeting Gareth earlier. :hand: