Where the Road Ends - Comments

So cute :3
Your layout is so simple and elegant and matches the tone of the story brilliantly. The writing style flows, and I liked how you put the name of where they are as the chapter. Also, I keep narrating the tale in a British accent. It's not a bad thing. :D

I really liked the storyline, and your writing styles really suit.
The guy is so sweet, and I love the faact that he's trying to find someone else. Love triangles will ensue. I can't wait! XD

I really like this story.
:)

This is so cute, and it's so vivid. It feels real. The whole story just exudes reality.
I loved it, and I'm subscribing.
I left a story for you to comment in a journal? If you could just read and comment that, that'd be sweet.
Loved it, update soon! :) <3

This was really cute. I loved how you established this story and the character's relationships are very vivid indeed. I hope he gets the girl, or even better the girl who's helping him.

Chapter One.
biting the end of my pen and studying the notebook in my lap.
^^ Maybe take out 'and,' so it's like: biting the end of my pen, studying the notebook....

He's from London. Maybe when she first talks to him, she should pick up on his accent.

"What's it like there?" I asked, my eyes probably wide.
^^ Don't use probably. She should know if her eyes were wide or not.. :]

"She's gone already, though."
^^ Don't need that comma.

"You came all the way to a America to find a girl?"
^^ a....take it out :]

"She didn't bother even waiting for you."
^^ even bother

Chapter Two.
"That'll be $1.32,"
^^ People don't speak in digits. :] A dollar and thirty-two cents or one dollar and thirty-two cents.....etc.

The total came out to be $1.32 as
^^ again.

there isn't much to in Detroit
^^ to do in

Chapter Three.
convenience sore
^^ store

pull it out and his pocket
^^ out of...problem, a paragraph above said that he put the beer in one hand and fished out his wallet with the other hand, so...by the time he got to the cashier, you would assume he already had the wallet and his ID out...

cracking it open and taking a long drink.
^^ cracking it open taking a long drink

making mental note to not insinuate anything
^^ making a mental

What's your family think of this trip
^^ That actually reads: What is your family think...
Change it to: What does your...

in sense.
^^ in a

The pronunciation of Tommy in a british accent. It's not quite right. I'm sitting here trying to make it work, speaking aloud, it's more kind of like Tomm-eh.

by these words
^^ those...keep with the tense.

He seemed little surprised
^^ a little

He smelled strongly of some kind of cologne,
^^ With her head being so close to his...wouldn't the strong scent be that of the beer?

:]
Subscribing.

Going after a girl that doesn't want you?! D:
I love this whole-world-between-strangers idea. You made it awesome (:
Lovely job! <3

Just because it was rushed doesn't mean it wasn't amazing <3 Because it was! :D

This is very VERY cute! And I love the layout! <3

Great job! :)

This is very VERY cute! And I love the layout! <3

Great job! :)

The layout is adorable!
This story is petty good. i'm jelly of course. Wish I had someone like that :/

But good job so far!

:}

I really like this story. It has a nice plot and the layout is amazing. Hope you update soon! *subscribes*

Awhl. He's going after a girl that doesn't want him. That makes me sad. ;( But I mean, he's got someone (even if she is rude) to help him out now. And that's good, right? Right. Because he'll end up loving her but there will be some huge love triangle thing if he ends up finding Evelyn.

Really, I love the idea of a road trip between two strangers. I really do. I'm sort of on the edge though, wondering if someone is going to get hurt. :/

I bet someone dies! >:(

<3 I actually really love this.

Awe, I love this.
It makes me jealous of Cadee.
I want a man like that.
I can't think of the word I want to call him....
dammit.

Whatever, I love it.

I really like the picture in the summary <3
But the story is really cute ^^
Great job

I'm loving the simple layout. : )
Ooh a Londener, eh? This is cute. :' )
Keep up the good work ma'am and other ma'am.
By the way, the way you too write compliments each other very well. : )

I love this :D

Good job on the second chapter.
I really like Dewayne. :D

*ahem*

Nice job on the first chapter, girl. I guess I'll have to get started on my chapter soon.