Let My Heart Rest In Pieces - Comments

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I think I might just be really lucky comment swap has sent me here!
I admit I have only read the first chapter, because I don't have much time at the moment, but this story got me hooked! I'm definitely going to read on and I'll be sure to give more, or one long comment to make up for this one being quite shitty.
First of, lovely layout! I especially like the banner you used.

I guess the first chapter isn't all that exciting, seeing as it's a fairly comment and normal plot use to have a family moving and all, but I have a feeling this story is full of surprises. This is the first MCR fic I'm reading, but I love them, so I don't care, haha.
I loved that you could tell Envy and her father have a great relationship, it's kind of cute to see. And that's just a little detail I really like in stories. Ima just repeat, I'll read more and you'll get a better comment. xD

I peeked at the next chapter to see WHO they were meeting, and I'm excited to see it's Gerard. This should be interesting!

You should really update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg women! Where are you?! I've missed this story please please update!!

Comment swap brought me here, and I am actually glad it did!

First off, gorgeous layout. I love the color scheme and nothing is too distracting. The font is readable! Yay!

The content was very good too. So far there is pretty good character development. I like her relationship with her dad and how they have this mutual respect for each other. They both have unique personalities! You did well at capturing her emotions about moving. It sounds silly, but I like the first paragraph and how you described the things she saw.

I got a bit confused though when it switched from 3rd person to 1st person. To avoid that, maybe just put her name before she starts speaking? Also, "Ever since her mother had died, he had played both rolls in her life." Rolls should be spelled as roles. :)

Hopefully this helped! <3 Keep going!

Update soon please xx

Update soon :)

Aaahh I love it in Franks point of view, it's great to see what goes on in that head of his! Plus now we know for sure that he likes Envy even though most the time it was pretty obvious!
I loved the bit at the end with his mum! It was so funny and I just love the relationship they seem to have.

Bring me more Frankie insight!! Soon!
Loves x

very excited for the next chapters :D

I got bored hopefully you don't take offence but I got bored sorry but it's true x x just my opinion x x COMMENT SWAP

I got really excited when this came up on my comment swap 'cause I love this band. I didn't have time to read every chapter, :( but I did read the first few chapters and a couple of the later ones to get a feel for the story.

From what I can see, your punctuation and the way you structure your dialogue is flawless. Not an easy thing to do, but you did it very well. :)

I also like the way, in Envy's first meeting with the whole band, you describe each character so vividly.

Altogether, I think this story has great potential. :)

There were a couple of things I noticed though that distracted from your, otherwise very good, writing.

Be careful when you're writing dialogue. I just noticed that sometimes it sounds unnatural and forced. I know from experience that dialogue is really hard to get right, but I found that reading out loud while you're writing it helps you determine what sounds realistic and what doesn't.

There were also some small grammatical mistakes in early chapters, e.g. 'rolls' in the first chapter should instead be spelled 'roles'. But things like this are easy to overlook, just remember to proof read.

The only other thing I found a bit strained were the situations between Envy and Frank, e.g. falling into each other and the band just walking into her kitchen. It just appears a little bit contrived sometimes. Maybe just slow the pace of your writing a little bit to keep things more natural and flowing; but this is only me being very picky.

Despite this, I think this story could be a really good piece of writing! You obviously have a natural talent for it, just keep practising! :)

Uhm, ok lol so i had to come back to this story for another time so this is awkward lol but like i said before, really really good story! i very much enjoyed it, and you have no grammar or punctuation errors, so good for you! Loved the story

Uhm, ok lol so i had to come back to this story for another time so this is awkward lol but like i said before, really really good story! i very much enjoyed it, and you have no grammar or punctuation errors, so good for you! Loved the story

Okay, so I was brought here by comment swap, but I really enjoyed it! I've always loved MCR even though I've not loved their fanfiction idk, they always make like ferards weird and just ok anyway i loved it, its so well written, and wish you lots of luck in future stories!

Loved this last chapter.... All I have to say is that you should update immediately! =) I'm craving to know what happens next!!!

:O This last chapter was so perfect. There is seriously no other way to put it. I know this isn't the end, but the reference to the summary and title of the story made it seem like it. Lol, just fantastic. :) Can't wait for more.

Comment swap brought me here! I actually really enjoyed your story, even though I'm not the hugest MCR fan. I love their music ai've just never really learnt a lot about them as persons. The story have a good flow to it and your characters have depth and seem real, which I love. And I love the name Envy, it's just awesomly brilliant!

Keep up the good work! :)

First off, your layout is really detailed! I think it fits the story perfectly and isn't too distracting but still really nice. Your beginning summary was interesting because it was in first person, and it was eye-catching. The story is really well-written, and there are many characters to keep the story going. I really like this story and hope to see the next chapter! :) good job~

Hey, so I really like the layout, it's simple but pretty. I really liked the summary it drew me right in and the first chapters was really easy to read and it flowed well. I don't think I saw any mistakes and the description was perfect. I liked the humour and overall it's a really good story! :D Keep writing <3

All the feeeeeeels~ I can't handle how wonderful your writing is, AH. Chapter 14 before I head over to Warped though <3