Innocence and a Broken Heart - Comments

I loved the imagery! It was really easy to follow, and I was able to really sympathize with the main character.

This is from comment swap and I didn't mind the writing, a few spelling errors here and there, but other than that fine. The thing I would advise you to get an eye catching layout to drag more people in.

oh...
umm..sorry last annoying comment but I just recognized that the story already ended...lol....
Well, I REALLY LOVED IT!!!!

....ok..just in case you'll wonder: I won't comment anymore.
Whoa that sounds DEFINETLY wrong!!!
Of course I will!!
I'll just stop typing those stupid little sentences..becasue.....I think that they're just annoying..haha..I mean, who actually DOES that (apart from stupid little me of course ;)
Well, and just to let you know: I still love this story with all of my heart
.....with the love that's still left...lol

wow...he's got some guts to kiss her again...
.....................but we all now that he really likes her..he's just...I don't know...afraid to admit it....
I THINK
lol

How.could.he.SAY.THAT!!!!!!
......I'm so sad.....

I nearly cried.
Seriously! What's up with YOU, making ME, the poor weird girl, CRY???
uhuuuu.....
I think my heart broke with hers the second he asked her if she'd think that Sarah likes him....

okay...3 years later...
What's up with the two of them....?
I mean, it seems like something's happened..something that...makes her shove him away...or something...
WELL, I will find out anyway
Yes I will
muahahaha

OMG I LOVE the first chapter (Ijust read the prologue remember?)
best friends...huh....
Well, it's absolutely cute!!!!!
But strangely, she seems to know that it can't be...?
or that...she shouldn't get her hopes up...?

Not the best writing in the world???
Are you KIDDING me?!
This was, IS, as amazing as every other piece of yours - in its own special way.
And it its truly true (does that even make sense?)
I love things like this prologue, it gives us, the readers, something to think about. It also sometimes makes us realize things...

The first part is more than true and Ihate it. Because, as you said, you're safe while the day still lasts, but when you want to sleep the problems won't stop bothering you.

Chapter 10
Ah, I’m very sad now. I don’t think it was really complete. I think you need to say a little more about her reaction and how happy she was that he actually was too scared and shy to tell her that he wanted her. The ending didn’t seem complete. =[
But it was a good story, even so. x]

Chapter 9
It's still so sad!

Chapter 8
Ouch. That's so sad.

Wow how long have I been gone! I have to keep reading this. I will a bit later. It's very late right now. And then I will read Love Is Like A Battlefield! Yes!

wow! that was pretty dang good!
nathan sounded hot!
he he!
i'm high on CHOCOLATE!

Chapter 7
Haha you know what I feel? I feel that he is a jerk. Argh! Maybe I SHOULD call the pirates to hunt him down! Lily should throw something at him! But then again, I don't think she is the type of person to take such excessive actions...
Well, I AM! >:D Too bad for you, Nathan! Hahahahaha!
-regains control-
What am I doing? It's just a story... a very good story!

Chapter 6
Short but very effective and seems like it could add more into the depth of the story. It was a good idea to add this chapter.
Juliet is not very encouraging is she? Lol, but I guess she's wishing for the best for her friend. She probably doesn't want Lily to get hurt.

Chapter 5
Whoa the mood was so perfect - so magical and romantic!
Until he asked, "Do you think Sarah likes me?"
Oh Em Gee. And yes, I agree with your author's note. This chapter IS very powerful. I loved how Juliet wants to be an actress and all that about background music playing in her head.
And how that guy dramatically broke Lily's heart, argh! Pirates will come get him!!! >:D I am eviiill...

Chapter 4
Juliet's personality amazes me. It's very interesting. And yay for her, officially freshmen (except that was three years ago, according to the story haha). I can't wait to read what happens next, so I'll do that right now.

Chapter 3
This was amusing. I really enjoy reading about the way Lily thinks. But I like running sometimes so I do not agree with her views on that lol. This was a great chapter to like. I’m still very curious about what made her upset with Nathan; I even read this chapter two times to find out. But I guess it hasn’t been revealed yet… And this love story has a really nice plotline, and it’s different from some others I have read. It’s better and somewhat unique. Good job.