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Innocence and a Broken Heart - Comments

  • Lacta

    Lacta (100)

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    Chapter 2
    You called my love story good? Yours is probably even better. The details in this chapter were completely perfect. Yeah, there are some spelling mistakes that are common among us writers, but other than that, the punctuation and word usage were amazing.
    November 30th, 2009 at 11:29pm
  • Lacta

    Lacta (100)

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    Chapter 1
    I like this chapter. It's very well-written. I really like how the main character just talks to me in this chapter... like the character knows the reader. It's an intriguing feeling.
    November 30th, 2009 at 11:08pm
  • LumosMaximus

    LumosMaximus (100)

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    I really like this one. Lily is very relate-able, and it has a really good plot line. Great job, babe.
    ;)
    November 27th, 2009 at 05:20pm
  • Rainbows.In.My.Eyes

    Rainbows.In.My.Eyes (100)

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    Awww though I'm sad it ended, I'm glad your working on your other story.
    November 26th, 2009 at 11:46pm
  • debzxxx

    debzxxx (660)

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    that is the CUTEST ending i've ever read. AWWWWW.
    LOVED ITT!!!!!! write the sequel soon :D
    November 26th, 2009 at 08:06am
  • gravity_09

    gravity_09 (100)

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    aw! its over! it was so cute!
    November 26th, 2009 at 03:51am
  • TheGreatSaiyaman

    TheGreatSaiyaman (100)

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    Such a cliché ending, but who doesn't love clichés?
    Good story :]
    November 25th, 2009 at 04:55pm
  • XdarkblueX

    XdarkblueX (100)

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    I liked it.
    I thought it was well written.
    The ending was short but I guess it fits.
    November 25th, 2009 at 03:25pm
  • camera ready kids.

    camera ready kids. (100)

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    Awe, such a cute ending ^__^
    He kissed heeer, and the rain stopped...
    Heh, I literally went 'awe' x]
    I love it (:
    November 25th, 2009 at 07:42am
  • You'reTheVoice

    You'reTheVoice (100)

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    I love it!! And thanks for the comment on my profile! I'm glad you like my writing style. :) I hope that you will continue this.
    November 24th, 2009 at 01:20am
  • TinySliceOfHeaven

    TinySliceOfHeaven (100)

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    Oh, I never told you exactly what I thought of the story spot-on did I? Here is my uber-long description LOL:

    I really think it was good that you went back-and-forth for the story instead of just going in order of events... like the comment above me said, it makes the reader desperate to know all the details.
    I like that you can actually go into detail and tell how Lilly is feeling in the story, instead of just saying: "I cried!"... you know? I swear if I wasn't such the cold-hearted-bitch (LOL) I would've cried every-time she did... (but I'll give you credit, I had tears in my eyes :) ).
    Also: this isn't much to do with the story, but I think it's good that you don't have any grammar problems (like I know I do :) ), it just makes the story more enjoyable and less of a hassle to read.
    like I said in my other comment, it was a little slow at the beginning of the story, but besides that, I loved it!

    Sorry if that sounded to criticky (LOL), but since you asked me to tell you exactly what I thought, I didn't feel write just saying what I did earlier...
    Anyway: keep up the good work!
    November 17th, 2009 at 01:51am
  • fuel to the fire;

    fuel to the fire; (100)

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    wow, this is really good! i liked the way you went from past to present in the beginning, it made me desperate to know what had happened to mess up their friendship so much. this last chapter was so sad, nathan is so oblivious! i'll definitely keep reading to see what happens :)
    November 16th, 2009 at 09:52pm
  • gravity_09

    gravity_09 (100)

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    UUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!! you always leave cliffhangers!!!!
    November 16th, 2009 at 07:07pm
  • TinySliceOfHeaven

    TinySliceOfHeaven (100)

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    Aww! That's such the sad story! Normally I don't read non-fantasy stories (I love them don't diss :) ), but when yu told me to read it, I really wanted to, and I loved it!

    Here's my advice:
    At the beginning it was a little to weak, it got a lot better, but since the first chapter was like a beginning, you could put that as the summary or something (give the readers an idea of what there going to read :).
    Besides that, it was awesome! I'm going to suscribe that way I can keep reading it!
    November 16th, 2009 at 02:10am
  • Rainbows.In.My.Eyes

    Rainbows.In.My.Eyes (100)

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    You have been gifted with a talent from the gods...Please update soon!
    November 16th, 2009 at 01:10am
  • xBuiltxForxSin

    xBuiltxForxSin (100)

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    That last chapter was so... wow. He is such a jerk!
    Can't wait for the next chapter!
    November 15th, 2009 at 09:20pm
  • DearJimmy we miss u

    DearJimmy we miss u (100)

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    interesting really interesting. I think this is really awsome.lol. Keep writting or ima cry.
    November 15th, 2009 at 08:33pm
  • debzxxx

    debzxxx (660)

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    Wow that brought heaps of emotion outta me. wowwww.
    keep writinggg
    November 15th, 2009 at 08:03am
  • Switch.Out

    Switch.Out (100)

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    Awesome story!!! :]
    November 15th, 2009 at 04:53am
  • IrishJBFan123

    IrishJBFan123 (100)

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    Well what can I say? This story is fantastic so far. It's something people can really relate to and I love that. I feel sorry for Lily pining for him when the feelings may not be returned. I'm glad that in the latest chapter she finally realized that she had to say no. I'm definitely subscribing to this. Love it =)
    November 14th, 2009 at 07:22pm
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