Thin - Comments

I absolutely loved it.
You're a fantastic writer, in each of the stories you present different voices and you write in different styles. The fact that you maintained an effective second person narration was just astounding. The emotions were spot on and amazing.
You're a very, very, very good writer. :]

This is absolutely chilling but it's wonderful.

I had to re-read this because it'd been so long since you updated. OK, this comment is gonna stink, but off I go.

I loved that chapter. I loved it lots. I loved the way you used third person and second person. They are the persons (people?) I use the least. Well, actually, I've never written in second person. You have so much talent, it pisses me off. Actually, it doesn't, because I love you. :arms:

Don't stop writing this story, please! It's really, really powerful! And I wanna know what happens when they see her with short hair and a munted ear.

It's awesome! I love how you use third person in it, it gives off a great effect. It's a bit reminiscent of invisible monsters with the little bits of philosophical rants in it and the whole idea of vanity, and seeing as invisible monsters is pretty much one of my favourite books. I LOVE THIS

sirry bunneh!

I really have to apologise for not updating this for months...

I'm sorry. I guess I get insanely bad writer's block. Hope you like it ^^

I'm so glad you told me about your story. This was beautifully written. I could imagine the pain. I'm subscribing. Thank you for writing such a brilliant story.

This is amazing and beatifully written. It moves you.

This is amazing.
Lovely job.

shit.
that was a sad update...
how the girl blames herself for all, because maybe it is her fault.
i love the fact that with the re-write you have added so much more to the character.
love it.
love it.
LOVE IT.

"The stiff blade that will soon slice through your skin." - I love the imagery you used; the way you described the bone as something lethal and painful is perfect, considering that kill her is exactly what it is going to do.

"You turn away from the woman who raised you in another world" - Wow, brilliant showing of the change in the girl's world and lifestyle. It makes the reader realise that she is no longer an innocent little girl that Mummy could be proud of. She is now something completely different, something that one could be ashamed of, yet love.

"The reason for your tears change. They attack you, very much like the rain, stabbing at your dry, endangered heart." First off, it should be 'reasons', but negativity and unintentional errors aside, this is a beautiful sentence. Once again, it points out all the aspects of her life, including her heart which could now be broken by anything, even the rain, or a simple thought. It could also be taken as an indicator at how critical the girl's condition is - any time now, her heart could give in and she would die.

"You were meant to protect her." - Disappointment in oneself always hurts. It feels like you are taking a bowl of pain and pouring it into your story. It sounds like something you have taken straight from you heart and put in here, to rid you of the pain you may feel, but this is a completely different subject. All I can see is how much pain she is going through.

"She wanted to be a mother. It was her dream. And you took that away from her." - Self loathing... just like self disappointment. It seems you know all the human weaknesses and pains. Much like the heel of Achilles.

"You killed your own sister with your disease, after all." - omgno: I had been wondering who was dead! I love the way you left it until the very end... You are a freaking genius.

This story pains me, because it is so emotionally strong. Debbie, you have to keep writing this, or else I shall come to your house and... no, you'd want that.. or else, I shall NEVER COME TO YOUR HOUSE! Mwahahhaa... -cough-

Brilliant.

Simply brilliant.

wow this is chilling debbie ! i love it , you kept the suspense right till the end i love that in a writer x

i love it.
this story is even better the second time around.
love it, debz.
LOVE.
IT!

Gorgeous, just gorgeous. I adore your writing style and your ability with words and your ability to show emotion in a new, unique way.

"Every word that you had written had stained the keyboard with truth serum." - I really like this line. To me, it symbolises that no matter what happens, "I" will still be the way I am. I will still be miserable and it is much too late to go back.

"Tears that had yet to ruin your pretty little face again." - This just shows how really shallow our world is. Something as small as emotion, something as everyday and ordinary as crying is portrayed as ugly and to be kept away from.

"To them, this is a fashion statement. To you, this is a way of life." - For some reason, this tells me a whole lot about the story. I can't even tell what, but it tells me loads.

"You will converse with no one. You brought this upon yourself. You will do this, alone." - This shows that one feels pitiful and weak if they ask for help, but they are even more pitiful and weak when they are alone, even if they don't realise it. This story is showing more than just the life of an anorexic girl. It is showing the meanings, depths and secrets of life.

"Your frown is etched heavily upon perfectly plucked eyebrows." - Again, the shallowness is shown. This girl must keep herself pretty at all times with the pressure of her job and the world on her shoulders.

"A frown etched by self-abuse via mirrors. Self-abuse via exercise. Self-abuse via your own eyes." - Love it. Very metaphorical. It shows that self abuse does not have to involve physical pain (even though exercise is involved). Self abuse can also be achieved by attempting to make yourself better.

"You do not need to linger behind fences and hedges to notice that these children don’t even have the energy to play a simple game of hide-and-seek, a favourite of yours when you were younger." - This shows how much this one girl means to the world. She has changed it and she has completely altered the future. The new generation is completely different from hers, all because of her.

"You pass people that you kill." - What more can I say? Insight and perfection.

i LOVE it!! i love this line:

"Thin is non-matter"

it's so true.

Fuck, girl! This is even more powerful than it was before. I love the way it's still about the same thing, but completely different. This is a great way to start, to explain it all. I can't wait to see where you take this story and how much you'll change it.

[I smiled when you said clavicles, because I taught you that :P]

Pardon me for not being able to write amazing reviews like you do. You know I love this. Words don't need to be said.

woahhhh, it's even better!!
=DD

susie x

holy FUCKEDY-FUCK this rocks.
almost as much as YOU do.

This is...
wow...
I'm too scared not to eat...

yay, i'm soooo glad this is coming back!
i can't even imagine how good it's gonna be if you improve it! it's already sooo good!
can't wait for the first new chapter!

susie x

This is just amazing , it seems like something an adult would write.
You have a vast knowledge of an ED like nobody else i've seen write on Mibba.
Aymee.