March 6th, 2010 at 02:06am
Careless - Comments
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The concept and plot of this story is so emotional and you convey that really well with your writing. I hope you update soon!March 3rd, 2010 at 08:25am
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oh btw.
I fell in love with Ella. (I honestly tried not to fall in love...)
I rost the game.March 3rd, 2010 at 07:42am -
There's a captivating sense of realism that drew me in to the story. The plot and the characters was a harmonious symphony of beautiful music. I'd say that you made Crosby a pussy with all the blushing and what not, but reading in context, it works, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
As you criticized, i also found that their relationship progressed quickly. I sensed that you noticed this as well when you commented repeatedly on how she had trusted Sid so quickly. However, Sid's humble hometown boy hero character makes it easier to believe and understand.
Ella is unique and she literally jumps out of the words. You truly gave her life, and I can feel her pulse in the words.
Crosby seems like he'd be this way in real life. He's a hero and idol to aspiring children, and you capture it perfectly in the story.
As for the other characters, they just compliment the story so well.
Overall: 4.5/5 stars
Where's the other 0.5 stars?
This story has tremendous potential to be better than it already is. This story, if and when published, could possibly be the launch of your career. I don't know where or how you can improve it...but I can feel it. I hope you can sense its potential as well.
You can start by NOT making it Sid the Kid. >____> but that wouldn't be fun now, would it?
TL;DR
This story is VERY relevant to my interests.
FIRST MALE COMMENT.
muahahahahahahahaha...ha.March 3rd, 2010 at 07:40am -
Haa! Not a crosby fan but i'm reading this! :DFebruary 28th, 2010 at 04:57am
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Dumb Megan! She better not ruin their relationship!
Update soon pwease! :)February 21st, 2010 at 10:37am -
mann, i don't like megan..
update soon =]February 20th, 2010 at 06:32am -
Megan couldn't be more of a bitch.February 20th, 2010 at 04:27am
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Ah, let's all be real here. Megan is a bitch. This would be a good spot for one of those mortal combat battles.
I would say to someone needs to smack her but, I'm not very confrontational. I'd set someone else to do my bidding. That's how I roll.
I like Melissa and Jessica though. I find it endearing that Sidney doesn't say anything mean about Megan.
Loved it oodles.February 20th, 2010 at 03:46am -
Great update! Poor Ella, it must be very difficult to have her family treat her so badly. Glad that she has said, hopefully Megan won't cause too much trouble for them!!February 20th, 2010 at 03:33am
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Guess who got around to reading Crosby...aside from the various people above me.
Yep, no school for President's Day and I'm spending it doing history homework and reading... probably eating leftover Valentine's Day candy too. I digress though.
Loved the update, Sid's a sweetheart and I can't help but coo at all the sweet things he does/ did for Ella.
Ella needs to consider moving to the Pittsburgh after summer, not New York...too many bad memories there after all.
Agreed, Megan needs a swift kick to the...knee *shifty eyes* Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
Update soon.February 15th, 2010 at 06:10pm -
Great update! Can't wait to see what happens with the Megan situation!!February 15th, 2010 at 02:39pm
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I like this...I want to smack Megan....or kick her in the twat....either one works....I really like this.....if you're gonna bring the rest of the Penguins into this...and you need girlfriends...LET ME KNOW!!! I'm willing to helpFebruary 15th, 2010 at 01:02am
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oh my gosh i loved the update.
stupid megan.. haha.
please update soon!February 13th, 2010 at 09:17pm -
I love this story...I'm so glad that u updates =).February 13th, 2010 at 07:58pm
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omg!! i don't like megan.. haha,
anyways i'm glad you updated!! i liked this one!!
<333February 13th, 2010 at 07:43pm -
Hmm...interesting.February 13th, 2010 at 07:30pm
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great story!!! Update soon!!!January 27th, 2010 at 12:30am
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Amazing!!! I cannot wait for ur next update. This is really good so far. Keep it upJanuary 26th, 2010 at 11:02pm
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ugh, i looovveee this story!! update it soon!!January 22nd, 2010 at 10:31pm
Jessica is pretty insightful for a 16 y.o. girl. She sure know a lot about Crosby...and from what I've read it seems as if she had feelings for Crosby that she pushed deep down 'cuz Sid was with Megan, and when they split, Sidney became more unreachable for her. But she moved on and now is just happy for Sid and hopes he should be with Ella.
Megan is not a threat at the moment....but she's the kinda bitch that makes you rage when she tries to sabotage Ella but ends up screwing up everything and then feeling bad about and kills herself (you know, hopefully).
Sidney and Ella were once again fantastic.... but i'm kinda sad that you didn't write about Ella hearing about her father's death and the emotions she felt. You could have made that the whole point of this chapter because this chapter felt like the beginning of a chapter and I didn't feel as if it had enough to be called a chapter.
Still wonderful nonetheless.
GUYS 8 MOAR COMMENTS TILL SHE UPDATES T___T gogogogogogogo