Human Indulgence - Comments

like i said before,
this story is amazing.
and with every word you draw me in until i feel like i'm apart of the story.
i love it.
<3333
good work.
:D

Your banner is wonderful! I adore it!

First chapter – It has so much description, I love it. With how you have written this, it flows really well. How the characters speak: ah! It’s fantastic.

“For your figure, I would bargain my soul” Met with the smirk of a hypocrite, and faithful kiss, the man’s eyes slumbered in shadow for a second, before awakening in torment. – This was my favorite line. (:

Second Chapter – “I asked", began the defiled gentleman, with an air of total anguish, “for your beauty”. Stuttering on his reluctant compliment, the cigar between his moist fingertips shedding disintegrating toxins,”

Lover‘s lips once again hung near to seduction, spelling out temptation between the flickers of their mouths.

“Never again. Never again shall I condemn my body to such brutal sadism, nor my soul”, announced the male, placing a solemn palm upon his chest, and taking another breath of violent ease.

Placing a patronizing kiss upon his plump lips, the temptress snickered, with a slight groan.

“Honey, you won’t have to”.

- Wow! This part was really amazing, and the end sentence , made me want to know more.

Third Chapter - So far I’m getting it was set in a different era? I like it though; it has wonderful flow, and amazing description.

Oh, I like this.
You have such attention to detail, which makes this that much better to read.
Not only is the plot interesting, but so is the way you word everything, commanding the attention of the reader.
Good, great, freakin' amazing.

Jesus Christ, I loved chapter 3 <3 This line is my absolute favorite: A boulevard of ignorant aristocrats committed to dull occasions and feverish faces of a dusk skyline. Excuse this lame comment, but I have to say this as bluntly as I can...
I freakin' love this story!
Lovely job! xD

Your description is simply amazing! This is probably one of the best things i've read all summer. Fantastic job!!

It is surprising that at a mere 14 years of age, someone can write so beautifully, so poeticly. The flow, the description, the details and wording are incredible. I you write this well at such a younge age, you have a great writing career ahead of you. Possibly New York Times Best Seller?

Fourteen and writing like a professional.
I'm amazed by your word usage and flow, it's astounding.

On some of the quotations of chapter two though, you didn't end them with any sort of punctation. You might want to go and fix that.

Lovely writing and interesting story.
=)

Oh, wowzers.
I really love the banner, at the top. Very mysterious, and without a description, the story is almost beaconing you to read it. :)
The writing style was very nice. Old fashion-y? xD That's how I thought of it, any ways, and the descriptions of the setting and characters were very detailed. I love that.
Off to read chapter two!

I haven't read this yet, so I'm commenting from chapter one, and I have to say that I'm hooked.
I adore all of your intense descriptions and imagery. I feel like I'm being swept off into another world. It's so beautiful.

This was my favorite line, because it speaks the truth:

He had never been in love before, and as a prudent youth, believed it to be the ultimate synonym of lust.

Oh my gosh! I remember reading the first bit of this, and I never read anymore. *facepalm* Fail on my part.
Anyway... this is incredible. Imagery and vocabulary are just perfect, maybe a bit too much sometimes? It might just be a thing for me.
And the way you use your words gives me faith in the fact that there still are good writers out there.
Now I have to get read more. :D

I like the redone chapter three better XD
Good job!

Oh dear God, Benji.
You're incredible!
Seriously, how do you do this.
>.<

I adore this, oh my god.
You have such thick descriptions and the vocabulary you use is outstanding. The imagery is excellent!
I do admit to getting lost at times, though.
Still, a pretty sick story all in all. :)

It should be a given that I am subscribing to this lovely peice. (:

It was truly amazing and your detail was stunning.
I think you've done a great job so far <3 (:

Benji Barker, dear, you make me fall more and more in love with your writing with every update.
It captures my very soul and holds it, making it pay attention to the words in which you display to us readers. I love this story and I simply cannot wait to read more and see where this goes. :')
PS. I think I shall start calling you Benji Barker if that's okay. (:

Love:)
You handle the language better than anyone I've seen before, and as always, the imagery you create cannot be topped.
I love the characters.

Wow. You and detail are practically one person. You are an extremely good writer. Your imagery is stunning and your vocabulary is amazing. I really liked the beginning, like the first chapter; I was immediatly pulled in. This comment probably sounds extremely stupid but I am impressed times a million. I can't wait to read more. I'm loving this! :D

I'm sure you've heard this hundreds of times by now, but your description is flawless.
Your word useage is exceptional.
This was like a movie in my head, and I've only read the first chapter.
Outstanding work.
=)

Oh my. I had forgotten how much I loved your writing, but this reminded me. :)
Love, love, love it.

your describtions are cheese! (which is a good thing ) i love this is really do. I always fond myself captivated by your stories