August 16th, 2010 at 12:32am
Leliel - Comments
-
-
wow this was deep; good job!August 3rd, 2010 at 12:09am
-
You're writing in this is amazing.
This is such a great piece of work.
Like others have said, the layout leaves something to be desired.
Though it doesn't take away from the effect your story has.
You went through the motions of the story perfectly.
All in all, I think you did a really good job.August 1st, 2010 at 01:56am -
Very interesting.
It almost felt like this one shot was the end of a very long story, and I just tuned in in time to catch it.
Unique, and wonderful.July 31st, 2010 at 09:22pm -
At first, I was really captivated by the photo you used in your layout, but I was confused as to why you chose it. The first line in itself was very appealing to me, and made me want to immediately read the rest of the story. It was an amazing eye catcher for such a simple line.
I also really liked the personal struggle that waged through Leliel throughout the entire thing. He wanted to stay loyal to the night but he still craved the familiarity of the darkness. I thought that part was beautiful, because his want and need for something he shouldn't was very powerful and was conveyed to the reader. The end for me was also shocking, but I loved it. I finally realized why you chose the picture, and I thought the outcome of the battle had both good and bad elements. Beautiful symbolism at the end. I loved it. :)July 31st, 2010 at 08:45pm -
Dude, IN LOVE! I love mythical creatures! xD I actually took mythology for nine weeks in school. xP
The description was detailed, it.asdfghfghjkl;'
yeah, intense-ness leaking from everywhere.
Who cares abotu the layout? F-CK! It's about the story not the layout. >.>July 31st, 2010 at 02:27am -
Crazy awesome. I really wanted it to not end xD I love mythical creatures. Very well written by the way :D Good job!July 30th, 2010 at 11:49pm
-
Ah, this is intense! I really like it.
The layout is a bit boring but whatever.
Really good work, I'm impressed :-)July 30th, 2010 at 09:10pm -
You had me at apocalypse.
A couple minor spelling errors. Nothing too bad that made me want to bash my head into the computer screen though.
Good plotline <3
MYTHICAL CREATURES FOOLS!
*cough* Anyway =DJuly 30th, 2010 at 08:06am -
o:
I love anything mythological. <3
:DJuly 30th, 2010 at 02:34am -
WOW!!! This is just amazing!! I loved loved loved it. You better have won thiss contest!!!July 27th, 2010 at 02:34am
-
Oh wow. This was absolutely brilliant. I never really read fantasy stories, but this was awesome. I don't even know where to begin. The whole scene where Leliel was holding Medusa in his arms and looking at her, and it was actually a farce, that was brilliant. I could picture it all so clearly, like the chaos around them and then they're just standing there like the calm centre of everything. Absolutely epic image.
I liked the way it ended, too. Tragic, but also victorious, and it was executed beautifully. I just loved it.
The only thing I noticed were there were a few paragraphs that weren't double-spaced. But apart from that, the grammar and spelling was sound, the descriptions were brilliant, and the whole thing flowed beautifully.
I think I'll be coming back to read this one again xD Well done =DJuly 24th, 2010 at 09:13pm -
Wow, that was pretty amazing. When he was holding Medusa, I was like noooo. I forgot that you had to cut off her head. ^^" I thought she was dead for good... Anyway, yes, this was really good. :D Keep up the super duper awesome writing!July 24th, 2010 at 07:32am
-
It was pretty crazy but, in the best possible way :]July 24th, 2010 at 02:06am
-
wooooooow just wow
I loved the whole plot of it! I like how the characters were well built and the action scene was good =)
I kinda liked how it didn't have a happy ending but it had this sense of inportance and learning.July 23rd, 2010 at 06:59am -
I just realized that I already read this. :D
My other comment was detailed, so I'll try keeping this simple. (:
This is so flippin' good! I love it. <3 It was really intense, but so descriptive.
Great job, again! (:July 23rd, 2010 at 06:01am -
That was amazing. You put the perfect amount of detail into it. Not too much, not too little.
Great job.July 23rd, 2010 at 03:05am -
Woah! This was intense, buddy. :)
This is definitely a very unique piece of writing, and it kept me interested the whole time! I loved all the details you used, and how well you wrote the characters, making me able to picture everything going on!
I loved this. It was wonderful. (:
One thing though, the layout was a bit plain. But, I doubt it matters, as your writing was so good! (:
This was amazing, great job! :)July 15th, 2010 at 06:23pm -
Wow that was definitely different. I usually don't read things like this, but it was pretty well written and it definitely kept me interested. You wrote the action scene wonderfully. I do agree that it was a little rushed, but it was really great!July 15th, 2010 at 04:40am
-
This was like BAM in your face, aha. (:
This was one of the most fabulously unique peices I've ever read. I love the detail--and the layout :D --- and I think it's amazing how every little thing is a constant battle: Their forbidden love; the choice of good over darkness; the holding off the end of the world.
What more can I say, than just amazing? C:July 15th, 2010 at 02:49am
Don't worry you didn't screw up this action scene, you wrote it perfectly.
I really liked it (:
I know you probably know this, but you're an amazing writer.