Leliel - Comments

The wording of this was positively amazing. I think it was good.
A few grammar/spelling errors were made, but I could still tell what was going on.
The ending line was great. Good job. :D

I loved this line: To have the sinister, heinous tendrils of evil wrapped around me was something I've longed for.

I spotted a few errors here and there, but nothing major. Overall, the story was great. :)

This was quite an interesting story.
A dark fantasy, it was great to read something like this.
You did a really good job on this.

I adore the ending line to this story by the way.
=)

I just realized I've already read/commented on this. Oh well. :D
It's good and I love it and you're amazinggg.

I like it a lot :D
I like how you made his thoughts go back and forth between doing what's right and what's easy. It made him more human a realistic.
There were only about 3 errors, and this was one:
"but I well if I have to" you mean will not well.
But overall, I liked it. I could have taken a little more setup in the beginning, but that's just me -shrug-
And...I'm kind of a sucker for fantasy XD
But good job ^^
~Icamane

I'm happy you gave me this oneshot to read, it was very well written, dark and fiction, I love that. And I thought the layout was perfectly fine. Greek Mythology is something I love very much. And the way you described how the different packs were on each side seemed to real. The words which they both spoke the description of their actions, I loved it all. And how they both die at the end, Medusa is decapitated and Leliel is turned to stone is a wonderful ending to me. I didn't think the story went to fast, considering it's a oneshot. I loved it.

lol, I actually like the layout just fine, because it's not distracting from the story. (But I'm also weird that way.)
Other than a few typos (I think you mean "longed" instead of "lounged", and there were a couple places where you wrote "breathe" instead of "breath") this was really interesting. It kept me hooked to the end, though the switch from first to third person was a bit unexpected. Very nice :)

The layout is a bit...distracting, but with that aside, this is a simply amazing piece. It was...crazy. I love it!

I am at a lost of words for this. I expected something different, but you had me hooked the entire time! I also loved the whole mythology and angels idea. Overall, this left me speechless in its amazingness.

I really liked this!
It was probably one of the best action scenes I have ever read here on Mibba.
I liked the hate and love thing going on during it.

This was a very well written one-shot.

Pfft, the layout is fine, haha.

But anyways, I liked it.
I've always loved the idea of supernatural creatues and I adore greek mythology so seeing Medusa in it was like

The whole idea of the hate and love and them kissing before she's defeated...
I LOVE YOU. I shall be stalking your stories, now.

This is really good, but it seemed like it all happened too fast. You know? Like, breathe in, breathe out, explain. If that makes any sense?

The one thing that I have a complaint about is the layout.
It's too dark, and the picture just makes it look awkward.

But the writing, was amazing!
I seriously think this is the best thing I've read by you.
Honestly, I love the idea of angels and things like that.
They're so interesting to read! Great job.

This. was. amazing.
Wow... just wow. <3

BEAUTIFUL :D
i loveed it Melibooo :)

This was quite amazing. Really amazing, actually.
The layout was pretty bland, but that can be fixed in time.
Your writing is quite interesting, and I really liked this.
Where it talked about Leliel betraying God. . . jeez, I don't know, it was lovely.
Probably my favorite part. Very well done, amazing job. <3

The layout isn't amazing - I won't lie;
BUT,
a personal connection came in at the betraying God part, with Leliel. Happened to me once, when I was in a very dark chunk of my life.
The writing was great, seriously. <3

I agree with the others - the layout is a bit plain. But you had a really good oneshot so it didn't matter (:
And I also agree with savannah kay; - it was crazy! xD
Great job! <3

The layout is a bit ... plane. But I really enjoyed the story! The best of luck with the contest! :D
I love how you described everything, especially the whole fighting scene.
The ending was so sad and heart felt.
Well done!
I saw some mistakes here and there with spellings, but it's a wonderfully written story!

The layout was a little plan. Meh.
But as for this, it was crazy good.
I really did enjoy this, fo'realz.
You have wonderful descriptions. :D