Picture of a Sleeping Angel - Comments

"His eyes were shut, delicate eyelashes brushed against his white canvas skin. Skin that begged to be painted with kisses." You had me hooked from that one line.

Like silk tea., I had a hard time figuring out how to pronounce the names, and I got a bit confused when you added the "-chan", "-senpai", and "-sensei" to everything. I understand that this is a part of the Japanese culture, so I'm not going to dwell on it too much.

Other than that, this was an adorable little three-shot that made me smile. Your descriptions and dialogues were perfect.

Although I'm not sure if it's just my computer being whacky, I couldn't see the picture at the top of your layout.

Your story is very cute and very well written. I don't see a problem with the names. Your descriptions are good and I don't see any spelling or grammar issues. It was very good and it all tied together very well.

I love the layout, it's so pretty! the picture is very cute, as Saul Hudson said.

I thought this was a very cute three-shot, Kyoshi (is that how you spell it?) seems like a babe,
and she's lucky! I like how you centered it around Asian people, I mostly see stories centered
around caucasian people. I also like the dialogue, it flows nicely, the sentence structure is
wonderful, and I really like your descriptions and how you captured her emotions. Also, I loved
how you captured the teenage crush/young love stage, when everyone can't help but think the
person is perfect/day dream about them. It's very realistic and relate able :)

I. Love. This!
Like, legit.
I love the end line a lot too like paranoid said.
I also love the layout very much, it's gorgeous.
It flows extremley well and you added the right amount of descriptions and your emotions were amazing.
Really well done. <3

That was lovely.
I love the end line especially, where in that character is described as an angel, it's beautiful.
And one of my other favourite parts was where you described all of the qualities of the character in question and how the girls would stop and stare.
Very descriptive, flows well, nice:)

Gorgeous layout, first of all.
And I mean it, it's beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful, and so much more then that.
I love the picture at the top too, I think it's cutee.

I loved the summary as well, kept me interesting and gave me a little taste of your writing style.

I only read the first chapter of it, but I'll be back for more, honest.

I'm in agreeance with silk tea. thought the only thing that I could really pick on was the names, and the fact that I had a supremely hard time pronoucing them,

Other then that I thought it was wonderful, the whole thing, your writing is crazy good. Just the first couple of words had me absorbed in it, I thought it was great. Your descriptions are so vivid, I loved it.

Honestly other then the names there was nothing bad about this piece, it was just amazing, good luck in the contest =)

O_O This is freaking amazing, hon.
From the layout, to the plot, to your writing <- which I find myself jealous of.
I applaud you. Great job. <3

I fell in love with this because like Mrs.Hatake I am a Manga freak.
I LOVE the Japanese names.

I spent a shit ton of time trying to figure out how to pronounce the names.
That was my only problem with this.
Otherwise it was once again wonderfully written.
Like I said, I adore your descriptions and the dialogue and what not.
But once again, no idea how to pronounce the names. I'm good in any other language, but not this.

Aw . . .
Can your writing get any better? This whole story was absolutely adorable and just wonderfully written.
This made me remember my anime days. <3 I still love this stuff. <3
I love your descriptions, honestly.
The plot line was very good, too. (: Loved it.
<3

Awww this was so cute! And being the anime dork that I am, I loved all the japanese. Hehe.

Beautiful, absolutely beautifully.
Your writing has such a natural flow to it. I understand what awful sensations meant by "geometric with a twist of organic" and I have to say, I definitely agree with her. You've somehow blended the two styles perfectly :)
Everything about this just blended together so well, from the banner to the layout to the actual flow of the story. Each chapter said just enough and began and ended where it needed to.
The ending was perfect!
Such a cute story! I think I'm hooked on your style of writing, it's so incredible =D

OOOOH! It's so good! I really love it! The descriptions are wonderful, I really love you're writing style. And you use lots of Asian characters like I do, yay I'm not alone!

I love the way you write, it's very geometric with a twist of organic. (If that made sense.) It flows pretty nicely and the plot was cute :) I really liked the picture you chose as the banner. It fit the story really well. One thing that confused me were the Japanese names, but I'm American so of course that would puzzle me. But other than that I really liked this!

This was cute. :)
I really enjoy the way you write - it's very flitty and just fun to read.

Aww :)

I was confused on all the names, but I managed ^.^ I can honestly say that I naver read something like this, but I rather enjoyed it :)

Ah...everyone said what I wanted to say.
Not to sound so cliche, but it really was cute!
I think the picture is cute as well, and suits the story.

This is so cute :D I really enjoyed reading it. Lovely job!

That was cute. :)
And it's pretty realistic, too, which is something I notice doesn't happen a lot in stories described as "cute". Awesome job.

Florence: Your right. I'll fix it right away. =]