Blue Film - Comments

the way you set this is unusual and hard to describe. don't take that wrong though. it's almost as if its written from a disembodied point of view if that makes sense, although it is from his point of view his life is so isolated and depressed its almost surreal but i think it works for the subject. i didn't spot any grammar or spelling mistakes but thats not my strong point but nothing terrible jumped out at me or ruined the story because it was there. i feel like i haven't learnt enough about the character though, to me it puts me off to others it might intrigue them to keep reading. you used a lot of short sentances which were good at making an impact at certain points but made me feel like the story was being rushed at other points. i like more detail but that is a personal prefrence. all of what i just said is personal prefrence so please don't be offended its just friendly advice :D i enjoyed it but overall not my thing but thats just because i'm a romance person at heart :D i hope this helps jules x

I like this.
Like, a lot.
Update soon please.

This story is so.. interesting. I really can't describe it. It's really different; like intricate and delicate.
Noel is such a complex character and the way he works and thinks is so intriguing. He's like a puzzle you want to solve.
You've written it lovely by the way. The format and your wording, it fits perfectly with the vibe you're going for.
I'm really interested to see where this is going and I can't wait for more.
It's really lovely story darling.