Long Road to Ruin - Comments

I'm not big on Green Day or any fanfictions regarding Billie Joe Armstrong, but I did read the summary and first chapter. Considering I'm not a huge fan of the band or front man, I must say it was really interesting and definitely made me want to read more. The summary alone brought me to read the first chapter. You have some serious talent. :)

Also, I love the title. It's so fitting!

I don't know anything about Green Day at all, I'm not really a fan so this should be interesting. I don't read band-fics at all so this is definitely something new. Your summary was short and sharp and I must say, it was quite captivating. It made me want to know why Billie Joe was depressed and how he copes with the repercussions of his deep depression and the impact of it all, on him and the others around him.

I really liked how you started off the story, with the fantastic descriptions of the bench and the marble fountains. I could definitely visualise it and they definitely flow with a nice ease, you have a talent for imagery. You could feel Billie Joe's loneliness radiating off him at how he muses over his life and stuff, and without explicitly stating it, you can definitely tell he doesn't cope with fame very well.

After taking some time to gather my thoughts I stood up and turned around to face the bustling city in the distance, full of light and life even at this time of night.
I think there should be a comma in between thoughts and the word 'I', because without a comma, it sounds too fast paced, y'know?

Anyway, I like it. You manage to have that really personal touch to the story, as if it's a diary or something and it just seems all nitty and gritty and real. I like it! The only thing though, I'm sure about the usage of first person. Maybe it's just me but Billie Joe seems so serious and you don't use any contractions or anything, and I don't know, it would suit third person since third person is usually more formal than first person to me.

You seem to be a pretty good writer and I wish you luck :)

How dare you txt me multiple times tonight and end it like that! How dare youuuuuu! D: I'm soooo mad! I want an update asap! Omg! I'm dying with anticipation! GAH!

I'm usually nit a big fanfictions about bands, mainly because of my lack of knowledge about the band, but I'm so glad I did! There was nothing typical about the way the story rolled out, and for the first time in a while, I felt like I wasn't rereading something:). (Which is shocking, I get that feeling from original fiction sometimes.)

I don't know what it is, but despite your use of long paragraphs, (something I wish I could write well)you didn't seem like you were rambling and simply giving useless information. As someone said before, the characters seem 3D.

It's getting late, so i only have time to read to chapter 3, so I'll come back tomorrow and comment on everything else, Kay?:)

How could anyone unsubscribe to this? It's pure gold and silver ore!! It's amazing!

I'm jealous of your writing skills. You describe settings and emotions so beautifully it takes my breath away. I wish I could write fanfictions like this.

I'm not much into Billie, but this story is so nicely written, I'm subbing :)

Layout; First off, I really like the banner you have. It obviously fits, and it doesn't distract from the story or try to glamorize it or anything. I'm not a big fan of white text on a black background, but that's just me and my bad eyes, lol.

Content; I read the first two chapters so far, and I don't have much to say. It was great. Just kind of raw and in depth. Thankfully, Greenday is one of the few bans I actually know about in FF's, soo. XD But Billie is just a solid character in this.

You could feel his sadness and guilt and loneliness. I love how you made Mike and the others. They act like real friends towards him, ecen if he is messing up real bad. This, overall, was just awesome. From what I've read so far, you are an amazing, deep writer. :)

you describe this story very well, it paints a very clear and vivid picture for me and I love having that in stories. I like how Billie Joe wants to seperate himself from the band, it seems like a thing he would do in reality and this helps the story have a more realistic feel to it. I like how Mike reacts to Billie's abscense and lack of a decent response, it works really well. Oh no! Dramatic conclusion you've got there, this is a very interesting story and I like what I've read so far and I shall continue it, but I thought I should comment to you now. :)

I apologize again for the delay in this comment, I'm a bit paranoid when relatives or friends who don't write start questioning about Mibba. More specifically the stories. I don't know anything about this band but I'll give the comment a shot anyway.

Summary
Someone is fakes a smile on a daily basis but is unbearably broken on the inside. Sounds like myself and select few others that I know. It's sad and obvious that this isn't going to be an easy task for him to overcome. The layout is nice too, it isn't too cluttered which would have been distracting and have taken away from the story.

Chapter One
The imagery in this is great. I like stories where there isn't much dialogue so these chapters where thre's little to none are always my favorite. The way you describe everything around him makes it easy to picture the situation happening. It's not like those stories where there is a lot of detail and yet you still can't picture anything. Images easily come to mind with just the first few sentences. Kind of sad that he can't ell his friend what's happening in his head though but from the summary of this story I can see that it may be his downfall.

“Fuck,” I thought desperately, subconsciously. “I have a wife.” -> That line made me laugh, he knows he's going to regret it but he's too drunk to stop.

Chapter Two
At least he explained some of it but it clearly doesn't take away much of the pain. Or the regret from cheating on his wife. Adrienne is a beautiful name just to put that out there. I can see this isn't going to to end very well when he explains the previous night's events to his other band mates. Definitely not going to end well with his wife but that's a given fact. It is his responsibility to tell his wife though, no matter what happens between them it's better to tell the truth than to lie.

Chapter Three
You would think his friends would be a little more understanding considering how close he claims to be with them. Billie is human and he's going to make mistakes. Acting rudely towards him because of it isn't going to make it any better. I think Billie also should have been the one to explain what had happened and not Mike. It wasn't his place because he wasn't the one committing the act. Billie had every right to snap at Tre for being rude. Cheating is wrong, yes, but it's a human mistake and I doubt the rest of his bandmates have never made mistakes in their lives. If that text is from his wife and she's freaking out over what happened, I may have lost all respect for his bandmates.

Chapter Four
Thank God they didn't tell her, it wouldn't have been their place to. Besides, she should hear it from her husband and not someone who may twist up the situation due to anger or resentment. She seems like a nice girl but it's pretty obvious that it's going to change when she is told about the infidelity. I'm glad he didn't tell her on the phone and technically he didn't lie to her. He just didn't tell her everything that happened the night before. That comment was uncalled for, it's times like these that your friends just need to keep their mouths shut. Ragging on him isn't going to make the situation less painful or easier to deal with.

Chapter Five
He's completely disconnected from the world isn't he? It's a hard feeling to deal with especially over a long period of time. Does he actually have kids? Like I said I don't know anything about this musician. And here it comes, the moment of truth. He really is screwed but it's obvious that this was coming. I do hope they can works things out at least for their kids. I wonder what htey will tell th ekids? I would hope they wouldn't lie to them only because it will make it worse when they find out the truth. But then again, I would also understand if they did. The mentality of wishing you were alone is a b*tch when it really happens.

Chapter Six
So pretty much this chapter told us that he has nowhere to go, unless he got rid of his pride, and that prostitutes are thieves. I would say send him after her but is it really that easy to find the specific girl you were with? Better question is would you remember every detail about her in order to find her? Going to his mother wouldn't be a bad idea but his pride is getting in the way. He would at least have someone to talk to and help him get past things. She could also help change Adrienne's mind or at least talk enough sense into her so she can think everything through properly.

Chapter Seven
Running away from all of this isn't going to help him any but if it's what he needs to get his mind on track then so be it. At first I was thinking that hitch hiking probably wasn't the smartest idea in the world but then I remember that he's an adult. Would he really end up getting killed by some creepy truck driver? Most likely not and he's also the main character so I don't see why you would kill him off anyway. Adrienne's uncle... That's quite a twist. Billie probably should have looked at the truck before he accepted the man's ride but considering the circumstances. He's lucky he didn't get the sh*t beat out of him. If I was his ex I could guarentee my relatives would have in an instant.

Chapter Eight
I doubt Adrienne sent her uncle to drive him across the country. It may have been a coincidence but I doubt she woulad actually do that. But it's your story so I could be wrong. He may be trying to forget about them but it doesn't sound like that's going to happen. He still has his kids to think about. Even if Mike does come to get Billie how is he going to find the exact place? All Billie said was that he was in Indiana and unless he was able to pry anymore information out of him he would need a tracking device or something. Billie isn't a burden to anyone but himself at this point. All he's doing is increasing his own pain.

Chapter Nine
Karma is a b*tch, you get what you give or in this case what you deserve. At least he wasn't oblivious to that fact. After a couple days (or weeks) hopefully Adrienne will calm down. Even if they do get divorced (if it does come to that) then they will at least need to get along for their children's sake. Puting them in the middle of a divorce full of fighting is cruel, I know that from personal experience and I'm sure others do as well. What are the odds that he returns to the place that destroyed his marriage, ultimately his life, and he gets jumped? It's either a random stranger hopng to get lucky, one of her relatives, or one of his friend. But the odds of them knowing where he was headed next seems quite slim so probably the random stranger.

Chapter Ten
The random stranger turned out to be a fan. That is too funny. But hey, at least Billie isn't alone anymore, he has someone to talk to. Maybe he will be able to explain what happened to Jeff and get some friendly advice. That and realize he should in fact return home and try to work things out. Maybe that blow to the head will have knocked some sense into him. Drugs, definitely not the kind of thing to turn to when you're in this state of mind. But, to each his own.

Chapter Eleven
I like Jeff, he seems cool and willing to accept Billie even after what he did. Hopefully it lasts. Again with the running away, it's not going to help Billie much. Joey needs to learn some respect and he needs to learn it fast. His father is human so he's going to make some mistakes and judging by the conversation it looks like Adrienne exaggerated what happened. Being confined to a bed and not trying to help her kids understand what's happening is her own fault. Honestly, even though she's upset she needs to step up and be a parent. Her kids need her right now and locking herself up isn't going to help any of them.

Chapter Twelve
Looks like Billie and Mr. Jeff aren't as different as they seem. Do I smell a new friendship? Indeed I do. I wish he would have talked to him about the call though. I doubt Jeff would leave him even after he unleashed all of his anger. He sounds like a street kid and street kids know more about anger and pain than any other citizen in my opinion. They practically live in it. But I guess painting is a good way for BIllie as well. Maybe this will be his new thing until his life picks back up.

Chapter Thirteen
It was pretty obvious that the divorce was coming but I can see the Adrienne isn't up for playing nice. Billie seems like a great guy and I'm interested in seeing her reaction when she feels like she made a mistake. I think she is. Hopefully art will get him pst this and Jeff will be there to help. Unless of course Billie blows up on him and does something incredibly stupid to make him leave. ebing homeless sucks when you have no one there with you.

So, this story is interesting. Definitely shows what struggle can do to a person. I like that you didn't sugarcoat any of this or make it cliche. That really adds to the effect of it. Great job so far.

okay, first off. I love the layout.
second, this being the only green day story i've read, I have to say I love it.
it's grabs my attention, and I know I'll read more of it later. (:
and i love how you write this, it's like your him in the story. you know?
not like it's a narration, being told from a bystander...
it's actually him, from his vision, telling his story.
i'm subscribing, and hopefully you're still updating this.
(: you just earned yourself a new reader/commenter.

I just got through reading this story and I LOVE it. Please update soon? :D

Let me just say I love the emotion you've been able to work into this story. It's as if you're reading him, not something written about him. You get inside his head in brilliant ways.
And the length of your chapters is quite good as well. Not too much, and not too little.
I'm definitely putting this one on my watch list.
Fantastic job! =D

I feel like this definitely has realistic qualities. I can't really say much from the first chapter, but you do have an unique writing style. I didn't much like the way some of the dialogue was written in dramatic format. I'm not a big fan of band fan-fics, but I don't think it could really fall into that category.

This is a really good Green Day fanfic. Normally I don't read real band/celebrity fanfics but this made it into one of my favorites. XD I read the first four chapters because I only have the four chapters to my story in this comment swap but I will be back again after I complete a few other comment swaps that I've entered. <3

I usually don't like fan-fictions at all, but I have to say that I really do like this one. Your writing is beautiful, and it flows very nicely. The way you describe things just...gives an insight to the characters and it isn't confusing at all so the reader can always understand and get a clear image of what you are describing.

The vocabulary you use is simply beautiful and adds to the story, bringing more emotion into what you write. I could definitely feel the emotions of Billie Joe Armstrong through what you wrote. How because of his emerging depression it has caused him to even cheat on his wife and not talk to his best friend about what he feels. You make it seem really realistic and I really like that.

This was an amazing story and I'm definitely subscribing to it!

Never read a Green Day FF before, but I like it! Dang, I bet he was depressed as hell, and didn't even know what was going on when that prostatue undressed him. Haha! BJ for Billie Joe makes me think og blow job...

HII!!! I'm SO sorry i'm commenting so late after your latest update. i loved it. i love the story and it sucks that you want to end it so soon, but i totally understand how you feel, i often felt about sttories i wrote the same way.
just wanted to let you know that i am a excited reader :)

I was actually hoping they wouldn't get a divorce, but I kinda saw it coming. Adie was a little harsh on him, but again, he really deserved it. I liked this chapter. It leaves you feeling almost sorry for Billie, like Adrienne should have just forgave him. I'm anxious to see where this story is going next, where Billie will run too. Loved it, your writing never ceases to amaze me :)

Oh no, poor Billie Joe! Please they some how work it out!

Also I hope, as you said in the author's note, you get your spark for this story again, Too many good GD fanfics I've red about Billie Joe being depressed and in alot of shit haven't been finished or contuied. For example, my own story of Billie Joe when he was sick in melbourne two years back. I still haven't finished and I just don't have the spark no more TO finish it.

Great work as always and let me know when you update it! I really hope Billie Joe gets better somehow

I really like this story, it's really well written and it's definatly holding my interest:)
So I will be subscribing to this today! nice work!

A DIVORCE?! Nooooo Adrienne has to take Billie back!! He loves her!!! :O ha we'll amazing chapter I really really liked it!! :)