AHHHHH!! you cant just leave it there!!!!! KEEP WRITING!!! PLEASE!!!!!
May 8th, 2012 at 02:20am
I'll Jump for You - Comments
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Nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooo y would u end the chapter wit a cliffhanger tht is not good, no bueno, nicht gut.........y should hav continued I don't want Lexi to die becuz of the people tht she thought cared fr her r greedy nd selfish it's unfair nd I hope tht Georg nd the guys r ok plz let them be ok......love this chapter tho can't wait to read more update as soon as u can :)November 29th, 2011 at 08:41am
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I wasn't trying to leave you hanging! My life has been turned upside down a bit :) But no worries, more soon!!!September 8th, 2011 at 06:21am
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update soon please dont leave us hanging so long lolSeptember 7th, 2011 at 09:51pm
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I'm glad your family is doing good. I'll keep them in my prayers. Love the new chapter. Sooo much drama. Your new banner looks so cool, but the new font is really hard to read. Update soon!August 12th, 2011 at 05:35am
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update iiit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please! im begging u!July 29th, 2011 at 12:07am
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update soon this is so good i love thisJune 29th, 2011 at 09:47pm
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“Um, yea, if you say so” only I knew that was his ‘you’re not going to get away with it that easily’ um yea.
I think maybe part of it should be italicized for effect so it comes off a bit more clear.
The end of that chapter made me gasp cause I was like o.o what happens? Which translates to good chapter =]
The next chapter hits home cause I can sorta relate not to that extreme but just yeah... and it's just portrayed very dramatically. I think what I like most is the dialogue. I do think maybe there could be more splashes of metaphor or imagery laced through it. Not like big and tedious but just a bit more to add to the atmosphere.
From this point on I can't and won't remark on anything because you have my captured I am already subscribed to another of your stories and it looks like I'll be subbing to this one maybe you will make it to my fav authors list if you keep it up. But this is very dynamic I'll probably read it all straight through in one sitting and then bug about updates lol.June 28th, 2011 at 09:56pm -
The layout: It was kind of...weird? the banner seemed to jumbled up with words and the words in the story content did not fit it. The lettering seemed too big.
The story: Well, I only read the introduction. The story--as of what I read-- seems cliche. Cliche isn't bad but only if you know how to mold it. I found a lot of mistakes in your story.
especially after someone was talking. For example: “It’s homework we are never into it! And don’t worry about my plans” he laughed.
It should be, “It’s homework! We are never into it! And don’t worry about my plans,” he laughed.
You need an end punctuation after someone is done talking. And is it's on of these " ! . ?" then the 'he laughed' needs to be "He laughed." because you're starting a new sentence. You do that quite often. Also I believe in the introduction something was said about them being in elementary at the time? They, as kids, didn't act much like kids. They seemed more like teens. Try to stick with the current plot.
All in all: They seem to be kind of a cutesy couple. I like that. The story in itself can be A M A Z I N G once you clean it up a bit. Despite mistakes, I liked it.
Good job. :}June 28th, 2011 at 08:37pm -
Sorry for how long it took me to read. I read only up to chapter 18.Your story is very interesting, one of my friends is a huge fan of tokio hotel so it wasn't hard for me to understand them. I like where to story is heading and will continue to read more. :)June 4th, 2011 at 05:09am
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I read up to chapter 4 so far and I absolutely love it! I thought you did a great job explaining everything, and you put in just enough detail.I love the person she grows up to be. I've never heard of that band, but I love the story! Keep up the good work! (:June 2nd, 2011 at 04:54pm
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please update soon i so love thisMay 31st, 2011 at 10:19pm
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please update soon i so love thisMay 31st, 2011 at 10:19pm
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please update soon i so love thisMay 31st, 2011 at 10:18pm
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more more more more please this is so goodMay 22nd, 2011 at 09:17am
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more oh my goodnessApril 30th, 2011 at 08:18am
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omfg update it!!!!!!!!
its sooooooo goodApril 25th, 2011 at 09:01am -
update soon please please please like nowishApril 22nd, 2011 at 09:59pm
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I remember reading the first 24 chapters of this before! I forgot all about this story, lol. I love love love the updates. An d i'll be sure to read any more, sorry forgetting about it before[:
Update soon please
