American Royalty - Comments

(Chapter 6) "Half the time he got the girl’s names wrong with he came." <-- with?

(Chapter 9) "It was the half-truth, and Samson didn't ate it up (no pun intended)" <-- didn't buy it + ate it up?

(Chapter 13) “Andy doesn’t trust you anymore. You might as well hang out.” <-- up?

(Chapter 14) Oh Cooper.

Chapter 1: Sneaky girl. She shouldn't make out with people in relationships, but hey, what's being drunk for (?)

Chapter 2: "One preferably with a nice wrack – I was sick of girls with no chest." <-- rack?
I'm hoping he gets some nice character development so he's not just like, a shallow jerkface all the time. I actually had the misfortune of meeting a boy like this. Except he didn't have any character/intelligence, he was just a jerk.

Chapter 3: I definitely sympathize with Florance, but this might stem from the fact that I had a friend who used to hear voices. I say used to because she got the proper help/meds.

Chapter 4: I like Samson. Sorry that's not really a 'real' comment. >_<

Chapter 5: I really like that he's foreign. Or at least his last name sounds foreign.... Székely. I also like the way he describes Andy in the last little paragraph

Now that I have met everyone, I need to go to bed because it's past three in the morning. =]

Cooper

Chapter 4:

The beginning of chapter four is pretty straight-forward; a girl who has problems with sleep and seems moody. I was confused about why she refers to her father as Noah instead of, well, dad? Maybe this is explained later on in the story?

Who is this Samson? I don't know, but I like him. The part where they're laying back together in the car is cute, it seems like he is a really good and protective friend over Cooper. (Jesus points for you, girl).

I just finished reading your chapter and subscribed. I need to start from the beginning, I feel a bit lost just reading your chapter out of the blue, but I love the idea. Great job!

Usually I dont read original fiction, but man am I glad I read your story! It's amazing. A creative twist to a rather unique plot. I love how everyone is sort of intertwined, and how basically no one is what they seem to be. Your writing style also happens to be really pure and it's like I'm reading someone's mind, because it all makes sense, but not in a way you'd admit out loud, you know? Hahah I'm probably just rambling now but yeah this story is amazing and I can't wait to see where it goes!

Just found this story, I don't even remember how, and I am in love with it. Each and every single chapter is perfection. Each character and situation is so complex and realistic and I don't know what else to say other than I can't wait for more!

There is so much untold back story. It's really neat to watch it all unfold.

more soon please!

Had to subscribe!!
This is just amazing!!! :D
Keep up the amazing work!!
You have such an amazing talent!!! :D

Chapter Five: The first sentence definitely made me smile and Sonya has a bit of spunk, which I adore. I really like the family dynamics so early on, and the humor. I like how Toby doesn’t conform to what most teenagers do but at the same time he judges Andrea, which is the total normal thing to do and proves that nobody is without flaws. I’m curious as to how Toby’s last name is pronounced? But it’s nice that ha has a normal last name but not one that is overused in stories. I love the expression ‘bedroom eyes’ for some reason, just thought I’d add that. I’m going to be looking forward to his next chapter.

Chapter Four: I sincerely regret falling behind in this story and I should have read this first chapter about Cooper ages ago because it is truly flawless. She is such a compelling character and I am already concerned for her and want to know about the possible issues with her dad. I can see the strong relationship between her and Samson even now – I love his name by the way – and when I found out that they weren’t a couple I was a bit surprised but I think I like it this way more. The last three chapters really got me thinking and though they were harsh, they were really real and I think they made a lot of sense. I really admire your writing in this chapter!

This story is BEASTLY!!! I can't wait to see how this all unfolds.

Oh...I cried.

This was good. Very, very good. I love this story, like a whole lot. With every update I'm changing from which characters I like the most.

Shame on you for making me cry. I don't usually cry but it jsut reminded me when I lost my best friend months ago. We had that type of relationship, well not sex, but that closeness.

This was really, really good. Great job.

I love this story it's unique and fun to read.
All of the authors are great writers and I see this story going far with great potential.
I love the details and the characters.
I'm subscribing.

So I absolutely love the idea of Florence and Dallas getting paired up. Unexpected and cute :)

I love Florence and ooh, Florence just told Andy about Dallas ;o Andy is Florence's best friend and Dallas is Andy's eff buddy who thinks Florence is hot. Things are gonna get awkward ;o I also really love Dallas now, he seems like such a softie now, looking at the scenes from both Dallas and Florence's POV.

I like the idea of Dallas and Florence. Its usual and never would happen but that’s the appeal of it. This was really great. I just want to know what the accident was! Haha

Just read this who story.

And wow, I love it.

I have never read a story like this so kudos for it being original! This is really great though. Can't wait to read more.

Loved the updates!
Hm... so, things are starting to change for Andrea. Her dad was taken to rehab, and now her mom is accusing her of being addicted to alcohol like he was. I wonder if she'll seek help for Andrea too or if Andrea's laugh put the question off?
Hm... and oohh... Dallas has a crush on Florence! Andrea's friend. :o This should make things get more interesting in the upcoming chapters. What will Andrea do if she finds out? :o But hm... I will admit that you make Dallas seem as not as bad of a guy now; with him actually showing weakness for Florence, and then you mentioning how he takes care of his sister. That's cute how he protects her like that. :)
So, great updates! I really really love this. And I can't wait for more! :D

I love this, you're all amazing writers and i'm subbing! <3

So this new chapter opened my mind to more Dallas :) I am starting to like him !!!

AHHHHHHH! This is soooo gooood(:
Dallas is such a sweetheart to his sister hahaha(: Dallas and Florence...oooooooooh. (;
I love it! Update soon!