You Had Me At Hello - Comments

Though I really enjoyed your use of dialogue and the various interactions between the characters throughout the course of this first chapter, I would’ve like for there to have been more of a balance between narration, description, and dialogue. There’s only one paragraph of description in the entire chapter while the rest is just dialogue. I also have to admit that, because there was such a lack of description, I wasn’t really able to get a grasp on the actual characters. They just seemed like a bunch of people talking, and while the dialogue was realistic, dialogue, in itself, is not enough to carry a chaptered story.

Also, there are numerous grammatical errors in this chapter, and you haven’t properly formatted this story. It’s against the rules to not put breaks between your paragraphs because it makes it very difficult to read.

I'm not that much into A7X fics but I thought I'd give this a go and see what happens. I quite like your style, but I think that you need to make your stories less dialogue driven and add in more detail. I'm also not fond of your use of tense but that's my problem, not yours. Over all, I think this is good, the characters seem very real and your use of grammar and spelling are to a very high standard. Keep writing. :3

Well say hello to a new subscription from me! :D Avenged Sevenfold is my absolute favorite band and to be handed an A7X story to leave a comment on makes me a happy person.First of all, I love your character, she seems like a fucking awesome person to meet if she was a real life person.Your chapters are very well written an thought out, I have absolutely nothing wrong to say about this story.You are a BRILLIANT writer, good job to you! PLEASE update soon, I have to read more! :)

Matt is so adorable... Love this chapter. Please update soon

Matt is so adorable... Love this chapter. Please update soon

This is a really good story. I'm really impressed!!! You've created the characters so well that they seem like completely real people and you've recorded their conversations. Your chapters are the perfect length and it's really easy to read. I had to read it all in one night. So impressed. Keep up the good work!!!

This is such a wonderful, amazing, interesting, captivating, and flat out fantastic story!!! Its funny, the characters don't seem fake and forced, and Maria is fantastic :) lol i'm subscribing! Keep up your writing, cause your bloody brilliant at it! much love! <3

This is a really good story, keep up the work! :3
Your chapters also aren't too short or too long and you write really detailed, which is a great thing as well! Additionally, I wanted to let you know that I think your layout is really great, I love it!

This is a really good story, keep up the work! :3
Your chapters also aren't too short or too long and you write really detailed, which is a great thing as well!

I've actually fallen in-love with this story. It's absolutely great. I read through the character descriptions and I saw she was from Kent, I restrained myself from shouting me too, to wake my mum up, ehe. But yeah, this story is really captivating and descriptive and it's just brilliant. I've subscribed and recommended this. I can't wait for the next update! Good luck with your brilliant writing! xoxo.

Maria is awesome... can't wait for more. Great chapter

So good. I am still sorry to hear that you are going in and out of the hospital I really do hope that you are getting better. I really liked this. Chapter cuz Maria is all BA on the guys telling them to stop fighting and especially over dumb things. I am glad that she is the way she is. She is all go for it and be adventures but then she also is so quite and soft. Hearing all the piercings she has makes me think she is even more BA. I am so excited for her to be with Matt. Thy are going to have so much fun and I can already tell. Like I said I LOVE this story. I hope you update as soon as possible and get better even faster. Your pretty awesome!!!!!!

please update soon

So Sorry that I haven't commented on anything really. It seems that mibba just about disliked everyone for awhile. What happened for me is if you left a comment on my page and then i couldnt read the comment or see it anywhere. finally today it decided to be nice and let me do that. Thanks so much for the udate even though it was a month ago. I hope you are feeling better and doing much better. you really do write amazingly. I love this chapter and well this story in general. it is so good. and thanks for mentioning me. that makes me feel special, but also bad because it took me so long to finally get to read this chapter and everything. you have a major talent and i hope one day you can get a book published. when you do shot me an e-mail so i know which book to go out and buy. and also so i can go out and tell everyone that i knew her before she became famous. i am excited to see what happens next. cannot wait!! :) feel better

Love this story..I need more...congratz on your excelent job :D

i am so sorry to hear you are in the hospital. thank you for taking the time to post this. i hope that you get better soon. i really enjoyed the story. it hits home for me. my sister was abused by her ex-husband and i am glad that there are people out there to get the message out that people need help. i really do hope that you get better soon. cant wait for the next update! getting better soon :)

So sorry to hear that you were in the hospital. I hope that everything is okay. If not get better soon. I actually loved this chapter because you got to see parts of Maria that you haven't and you get to see the way she is with everyone some more. Including Matt and Jim. And you get to see how Matt is with her and how much he likes he and wants to spend all his time with her. It's cute and I like it a lot. Thanks for the update!!

AH!!! So made my Valentines Day. I love that they are like together but not. I wish more people would do this. Get to really know each other before they go and date. I am so excited that everything is going so well. I can't wait for the guys to meet him and see what they say. I think it also is so cute that he brought her flowers and that they held hands right away. They seem so cute together and I am so excited for the next chapter. Please update soon. I have a feeling this might become my number one favorite story. It's in the top five right now. :)

I love this story. I was so shocked to see both graves. And then she was really nice to the guy she buys flowers from. I really LOVE this story. Please update soon. I am in college with no tv so your stories are all I have cuz none of my others are updating. THANKS!

love it! :)