The Devil's Deal - Comments

Please update this really soon!

Please update soon!

I love this story and loved the update! I can't wait to read more so please please please update soon its been sooo long!

Loved the update and yep I'm guessing that Admodeus is quite keen to get a look at her in the shower again. I have a feeling that Gaap is Johnny?

Aahhh please update such a great and original story!

Aahhh please update such a great and original story!

Yay! I'm so happy you have update! This is one of my favorite stories and I can't wait to read the next chapter :)

Uhm, more please?! I am so loving this story! Its completely orginal in every way! I just really want more please?!

Oh please continue this!!!!!!

Please please update soon!

i just found your story and i'm impressed. I love how you word things and your imagery is spot on. I really enjoyed reading this and i can't wait for more. I love the friction between her and Zacky...i mean Asmodeus. Keep up the fantastic work!!!

I'm seriously loving this story and hope you update soon :-)

Just found ur story and I love it! Please update soon :)

This is a very interesting story! I've only read the first chapter, but so far I'm already totally digging it. I saw that Kayla had recced this in the A/N of her stories so I just had to check this one out and I'm very glad that I did.

The descriptions were just beautiful - even though they were about something as terrible as a car wreck and a dead little boy. I almost felt as though I was there, experiencing it for myself. It was also very cool the way you introduced Zack by making him freeze the situation as it was happening. It was pretty bad ass. :P

Can't wait to read more! I'll comment again when I do - and I am most definitely subbing. <3

I love your writing style and I can't help but love how much of a total asshole Zacky is.
It's got something to do with the demon business.
It looked like the sort of place that you’d see on Criminal Minds,
I fucking love Criminal Minds. Spencer is just a hottie and the show is just mind blowing.
but that's not relevant.
update soon?

I just read all the chapters today! In the last few hours matter of fact.. I'm really loving this story ;3

Update this soon i love it so far.

Pretty good so far :) I can't wait for more :)

Woo, I'm back! What a short break. And by short, I mean non-existent.

Chapter Three:
The arms of the dead wrapped their hands around me, trickling over my skin like the brush of a spider and chilling me to the bone. Wow, I hate you.

in his morbid, somewhat slender fingers. Not gonna lie, I gigglesnorted. [/yes, I think it's high time we brought that back]

He's making her grave rob a priest‽ [/wat even, he's an ass]
Woah, woah, woah. He's not even telling her where he is or what his name is? That's cold. [/you know what she should do? She should get in a car and lock him outside it, and roll up the window while saying 'Toodaloo, motherfuckaaaaa'.]
[/I haven't seen that yet by the way. I still haven't found a decent download]

Wouldn't a shovel be a stupid thing to carry so high? People could probably see it up there, where they might not when it's held lower. [/common sense.]
[/erm, Iggy sense? Because it's weird?]

It almost looked like a leader among a mass of followers, the beauty of it somewhat frightening for the death that it symbolized. Stop with the metaphors. Now.

So did the priest not have a mother, sibling, wife, or children? I mean, the little description thingy was great, but what about 'Beloved son, brother, and husband...' that tons seem to have?

Ew ew ew ew ew. Why did you leave the eyes intact? Whyyyyyyyyyyy‽

Can you seriously stop asking for/mention feedback and comments? You do that on everything, and 3 or 4 comments is better than the standard nothing for a lot of people.

Chapter Four:
Oh wow, people hate him. How shocking is that. Very much so. I cannot even imagine how anyone could dislike him in the slightest. I mean come on, people, grade A asshole, what's not to like?

He tugged at the metal of his snakebites with his teeth, and I my flush deepened as my heart fluttered slightly. Yeah, Iggy, the master of typos, mistakes, and errors, has found one in your story. Be ashamed, mortal. [/lawl, I'm such a bitch]

Stop being insightful. I don't like it anymore.

Oh God, he is not going to walk in on her naked. Just no. [/plz don't]
WHY DID YOU DO THAT ASHLEIGH I TOLD YOU NOT TO. [/WHY IS THERE SO MUCH KINK IN THIS STORY IT'S NOT EVEN PWP]

Wow, so you have lots of subs but not much feedback? 63 comments 377 readers 140 subscribers. Just gonna leave it there.

Chapter Five:
...How does Edward Cullen drive? [/twihards never really mention that. You should've said that he would drive like Ron Weasley. All over the place there, what with the flying car.]

So it seems like she's been staring at him for a long time. And has been having fantasies about a guy who's not only a demon, but has complete control over her and her brother's life. [/what? no, not weird at all]
[/lawl, I'm a bitch]

“Do you find it unfair that I got a look at you and you haven’t had the chance to see me naked? Is that what this is?” OMGOMGOMGOMGOMOGMOGMOGMG BEST EVER. MARRY ME. NAO. I'LL BOOK A CHAPEL IN AUSTRALIA. WE'LL SPEND OUR HONEYMOON IN CANADA. AND WE'LL LIVE IN BOTH COUNTRIES OFF AND ON. YES. SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.

[/your regularly scheduled comment has been interrupted by ring shopping. We apologize for any inconvenience.]

How is it a field if there's no grass or plants or animals? Sounds barren and boring.

HOLY SHIT YOU MENTIONED CRIMI. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. COME ONLINE SOON SO WE CAN PLAN THE MARRIAGE.

So the end of that chapter is completely lost on me, but whatever. It'll be clear in the next one.

So yeah. Good job.
BYES!

You know what's horrible? I'm only reading this right now because I'm really bored. Le sigh, I officially suck. Siriusly, though, the forums are kind of dead, I had inspiration and lost it (shocker!), and no one's commenting back. (But they're actually not online/talking to anyone, so it's sort of okay.) I was going to watch a Potter movie, but I can't find my DVD player remote.
I changed my theme again though. You like? [/SAY YES.]

But yeah. I might read all six parts now. I'm not sure.
Oh, but you know what I might do? I might update Reverie and Loveless today too. Hahaha, now you might know how Iggy feels when you update 24/7.

And lastly, before I actually get to the story, it really bugs me that you're guaranteed not to come online today.

Prologue: (Yeah, labeling it so neither of us get lost. And so I know where I left off if I don't finish tonight.)
Okay, I've only read the first two paragraphs, and I already love it. And I'm not a big fan of demons and stuff. [/so congrats on that]

Why do your stories involve so much death? [/there is a common theme here and I am picking up on it.]

“You may know me as Asmodeus, mortal, and I am here to make a deal.” Mortal. Mortal. He seems a bit bitchy to me, not gonna lie.

So the prologue and chapter one don't seem to be too long, so I think I might power through all of it. [/fuck yeah I'm a tank]

Chapter One:
I actually don't know how to pronounce Asmodeus either, by the way, and the voice in my head slows down dramatically when I come across it. Maybe I'll get better...?

So I'm guessing this Asmodeus dude is Zacky? [/lawl, saaaa good at inferring.]

I heard the words before I realized that I had spoken them, my voice like a dull whisper against the roaring of the wind. Yep. Just gonna leave that there.

My nose is suddenly super runny. Ugh, it's getting in the way of my reading. I'm spending all my time blowing my nose now. [/le sigh]

Wow. A Hell reference in a story of demons. [/how does your mind work Ashleigh can I have it?]
[/...sorries. I have a one bichy remark per comment quota to fill] It's good though. It's really good. [/can I actually have your brain though?]

Wow, she's desperate and he's an ass. I'm actually thankful for the demon stuff now. [/layers are good. Cliche characters and good plot. Wooo~]
[/plz don't turn into Iggy though. All my characters are cliche. Except maybe one of my AAtB girls, but that's beside the point.]

...Are they going to fall in love? Just a question, 'cause you know, Ashleigh writes romance. Twisted, fucked up, weird. 'how-is-this-a-romance' romance, but whatever.

God, he is an ass. [/I probably would've taken the deal immediately, though. If I had brother I felt close to, though. The one I have I barely know.]

So where are the emergency responders in this? No ambulance or police? Well, what a dandy place to live in. Ah, there they are. Well, that took long enough.

That actually didn't jump around much.

Chapter Two:
You noes, I just realized how long this comment is going to be. I think I'll make two. Yeah, that's what I'll do, I'll make two. [/good God, shut me up]

Fear wrapped its claws around my heart and my chest tightened, my eyes snapping open to escape the incoming anxiety. [/no comment]

Can you just stop writing so well. I feel inferior.

She looked positively distraught as she walked over to me. Somehow I got 'She looked positively distraught as if she had walked over me' out of that. [/heh heh]

Damn, that's a good question. What does a soul feel like? Would you actually notice if one of those soul-stealing websites actually stole it? [/I feel bad for having one of those links up now]

How old is her brother? I'm guessing he's pretty young if his hand is tiny. Haven't seen any sixteen year olds walking around with tiny ass hands, now have we?

He's meeting her in a bathroom? [/kiiinky. Are you sure you don't write smut? That would've been a good opening]

God, he is an asshole. Quit making one of the band members suck in your stories. I mean, one's a killer, one's a demon, one's a jackass in TWO of your stories. God, Ashleigh, do you hate them subconsciously or something?

Wowee. Mood swings. Maybe it is her time of the month.

HOLY SHIT GRAVEDIGGING, YOU ARE THE GREATEST.

[/kay, capping this comment here because it's probably my longest in a long time.]
Byes?